Page 4 of Almost There
Mason rolled his eyes and reached over. “It’s right here.”
“Just kidding. Found it.” Robin chuckled. “Thirty miles give or take until the next turn off.”
“What’s in Niland?” Mason followed along as Robin checked the map.
Tessa shrugged, forcing herself to trust that everything would be okay despite the anxiety that was wrapping itself around her neck, and gave Mason a tired smile. “I don’t know yet. Guess we are going on an adventure.”
Sleep overtook Mason slowly, his head bobbing and then jerking up straight as he struggled to focus on the silent and boring drive. In the end, exhaustion won, and he curled up next to Emily’s back. His hand reached out to touch Tessa’s leg and she wrapped her fingers around it, giving him comfort to disappear into his dreams. Moose lifted his head from the floorboard to check on his humans and then fell back to sleep with a grunt.
“They’re sweet,” Robin whispered as Tessa turned onto HWY 86.
“Only when they’re sleeping.” Tessa laughed.
“No, really. You have good kids.” Robin smiled. “Some of the kids I’ve met are monsters. My girlfriend’s kids back in Hawaii are pure evil. I love her, but I hate her kids.”
“You know, I feel kind of like a crappy person.” Tessa looked over to Robin nervously. “But I never even asked what you do or how you and Joe met.”
“Just when I thought you’d never ask.” Robin smirked. Tessa felt her cheeks warm.
“I’m just kidding.” Robin sighed. “We had a lot going on. There was the whole running from the city, fleeing as San Diego burned, the dead guy from last night, and your super welcoming neighbors this morning. Honestly? I bet your block parties are a hit. I’m surprised you ever wanted to leave.”
“What? You didn’t want to stay for the annual chili cookoff? I’ve got the winning recipe.” Tessa smiled. Sarcasm she could handle. There’d be plenty more of that waiting for them in Idaho. Among other things... But she’d deal with that later.
“That was cringe worthy bad.” Robin looked to Mason and Emily. “I feel guilty I couldn’t hold them back at the end.”
“Don’t feel guilty.” Tessa shook her head. “I don’t even know what I would have done if you weren’t there. Seeing them struggle and being powerless to…” Her voice trailed off and she grit her teeth, knowing she’d burn the whole world down if it meant never hearing them cry like that again.
“You’re a good mom,” Robin filled the silence.
“Am I?” Tessa huffed. I wish I was better.
“I think only bad moms don’t question if they are good.” Robin moved her big sunglasses up to wipe the tears from her eyes. “I wish I could call my mom. She’s in Honolulu though and now I’m wondering if I’ll ever be able to call her again. Heck, I’d even settle for calling Joe’s mom right now. His family is from America Samoa, but he moved them to Hawaii when he was stationed there. That’s where we met, at a fiesta on the beach, and I came with him stateside for his last two years of duty. He’s supposed to retire and we were supposed to go back.”
The distance stretched out in the silence and tore at the void in Tessa’s heart. An invisible string attached to some unknown end. But at least she was heading somewhere tangible. She had a way to go home. Robin was adrift and alone. Not alone anymore.
“You know, I’ve been thinking that since the solar storm hit right after they left Hawaii then it would make sense for them to turn around if something was wrong with the ship. Maybe they are safe on the island and Joe can be with his family,” she offered as if it was any consolation.
Robin inhaled deeply and nodded. “Maybe in a parallel universe, Joe is dragging Landon somewhere safe.”
“Am I dragging you?” Tessa laughed softly.
“I mean, you kind of kidnapped me.” Robin winked. “But in all seriousness, thank you again for getting me out of there. I’m having trouble snapping out of this numb funk and I don’t even know what I’d be doing right now. I’m an event coordinator at the Vintage Basket Winery, but I don’t think there will be any more parties anytime soon.”
“Okay, but that’s a cool job,” Tessa blurted out, mentally cringing that she’d only been able to offer cheap warm beers last night.
“Yeah, my skill set really transfers to the apocalypse.” Robin chuckled.
“Hey, if it makes you feel better, I haven’t worked in eight years.” Tessa glanced down at her sleeping kids, adding another brick to the mental guilt stack. She’d stayed home to avoid childcare costs and Emily was signed up for preschool in the fall. The girl was so excited to go to school. Would she ever get the chance?
Robin looked at Tessa and then to the kids. “Are you scared?”
“I’m always scared.” Tessa let out a bitter laugh. “Scared that I’ll damage them somehow. Scared that they will suffer because I’m not good enough. I’m absolutely terrified that they’ll grow up hating life for the hardships they’ve had to face. Now throw in the freaking apocalypse and I don’t think there is a word for how utterly frightened I am. But what can I do? It’s not like I can just curl up in a ditch somewhere and wait for the worst to happen.”
Nothing like the end of the world to turn you into a pessimist. But now that the words were out, she couldn’t take them back. “I’ll be fine though.” Tessa shrugged.
Robin cracked a smile and slid her sunglasses back down onto her cheeks. “You know, you’re alright.”
The air grew hotter, stifling, and Tessa cracked the windows hoping to catch a breeze. Open desert stretched on either side of the road for hundreds of acres until it was broken up by the mountains in the distance. Tumble weeds raced on the wind, crashing into dust devils, and two armed cacti waved from their vantage points.