Page 12 of Academically Yours

FOUR

Matthew

I couldn’t stop picturing Noelle at that mixer last Friday, so imagine my surprise when the redheaded girl I saw the first day of classes turned out to be her. It almost felt like fate, which was crazy. The sight of her there was like a shock to my system. And as soon as our eyes had met—as I caught her staring at me across the room—I knew that she was someone special.

I wanted to meet her—wanted to know her name. No… I had to know her name. I escaped the boring conversation the other professors were having (though, if you asked me, I couldn’t have told you what they were saying, anyway), and found myself wandering over to her. She was like a magnet, and I was being pulled in her direction.

And suddenly, with her fiery red hair radiating around her, there she was. Noelle Hastings, in my life. I knew I would never forget it. It had been so sweet on her lips, her voice warm and friendly as we talked all through the night. And what was wrong with me that I was enthralled just by Noelle’s presence? It wasn’t like she was wearing anything out of the ordinary: a pleated, skirt with a white turtleneck, complete with a chunky sweater and those damn thigh-high socks, but it took everything not to let my jaw drop open when I saw her, gazing my way, and not even realizing she had been staring at me.

I hadn’t even been able to pull my eyes away from her to say hi to the other faculty or staff members at the event. All I knew was that she was in front of me, and for the first time in my life, I thought, what if?

And when she had asked me how I wanted to meet someone, I almost said it. Just like this.

I couldn’t stop staring at her beautiful, freckled face. I knew that I shouldn’t be so attracted, so captivated by her—it was crazy.I had never been before. But there was something in me that wanted to hear Noelle’s laughs fill the room, to see her warm face smile at me.

I couldn’t stop replaying the moment I had gone up to introduce myself to her in my mind. The way she was speechless staring back at me and didn’t even introduce herself at first. And my God, what had I been thinking? I hadn’t been, seriously. But she was all I could think about as I got back to my house that night.

And that what if bubbled up in my mind, even as I told myself no—you can’t have this. You can’t have her.

Because having someone meant having someone I could lose. I closed my eyes, sighing in frustration as I sat at my desk at home the next day. I stood with a yawn, grabbing Snowball’s leash so I could take a walk around the block to distract myself. The cold air sounded like a good idea.

But even then, as we started our walk, I briefly saw a flash of red hair from my neighbor’s front lawn, and it made me think of Noelle.

Deciding that she had already occupied way too much of my thoughts lately, I picked up my phone and dialed my sister’s phone number. Even though we were close, she was still in college, and I never wanted to text or call her too much to bother her and feel like I was a burden on her already busy life.

I knew what it was like to try to juggle all of that as well as your relationship with your sibling—I had balanced it throughout my last two years of college, trying to juggle the grief and the newfound responsibility of being my little sister’s sole caretaker as I tried to graduate from college.

I had never wanted to push her too far because I didn’t want to lose her from my life entirely. And living on the opposite side of the country from her, I couldn’t help but worry that I had allowed too much distance to grow between the two of us. Maybe it was time to change that, especially with her graduating soon.

“Hello?” Tessa’s voice answered as she picked up on the fourth ring.

“Hi, Tess.”

“Hey, big bro, what’s up? You don’t normally call this time of day.” I looked at the clock. It was still pretty early in the afternoon there, especially for the weekend.

“Does a brother need a reason to call his baby sister?” I smiled at the phone. “I know we haven’t talked too much lately, and I know your semester just started, but I thought I’d check on you and how you were doing.”

“I gotta be honest, Matt, the senioritis is real,” she started, “but it’s not all bad. My theater program here just keeps getting better, and I’ll honestly be sad to say goodbye to the department at the end of the year. Plus, I am definitely not looking forward to the job hunt.”

“Have you given any more thought about moving here?” I asked hopefully. I really missed having her around. These last four years of her studying in New York City had been quiet, and I didn’t want us to grow apart anymore. She was the only family I had left, after all.

“Honestly? I don’t know what I’d do there. I mean, I know I love what I’m doing…” She trailed off.

My sister had always loved theater and performing—I always knew it was what made her soul tick. And now she was in New York, studying Acting and Theater. I totally understood it was her dream. For me, that passion came from teaching, of all things, so I wasn’t about to tell my little sister to not follow her dreams.

“But?” I said, hopefully.

“But I still don’t really know what I want to do. Honestly, I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed with all of my options lately.”

“You can always come and spend the summer here. I have the guest room.” I suggested. “Your lease in NYC ends in June after graduation, anyway, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah.” She agreed with me, and I could almost feel her nodding over the line. “It does, but…”

“Whatever you want. You can stay with me until you’ve figured out what you want to do—you know I’ll support you with whatever you decide. Plus, it means one last summer with the two of us together before you get your big break and decide to leave your big brother forever.”

It was her turn to laugh. “I’ll never leave you, Matthew. Seriously, I owe you everything. After Mom and Dad…” I swallowed as her voice trailed off. “Well, I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t stepped up and taken such good care of me. I’m sure I wouldn’t be where I am today.”

“You don’t have to thank me. I would do anything for you, sis. Even if you drive me crazy sometimes.”