Page 33 of Academically Yours
“I, well… erm… yes?” I diverted my eyes away from her into my lap, staring down at my textured tights and the heeled boots I had chosen for the occasion.
“And?”
“And what, Mom? I’m not looking to date. Nothing’s going to happen with anyone.” Maybe ever. No matter how good-looking Matthew Harper and his stupid rolled-up sleeves were.
“You never know,” she shrugged at me with a smile on her face. “Stranger things have happened. When I met your dad, he—”
Oh, here we go again. “Mom.” I cut her off before she could retell me the same story I had heard a million times during my life. “I know, Mom, I know. You never expected him to walk into your life or your college dorm room, and even though he was a senior and graduating that year, you just knew—”
My mom shot me her best mom look, the one that said shut up, I’m trying to make a point here. “I’m just saying, Noelle. Expect the unexpected and sometimes things will happen that you don’t expect. And it’s not like you’re an eighteen-year-old with your whole life in front of you. You’re twenty-five, sweetie. Don’t you want to settle down and get married soon? Sometimes I think you’re not even trying to put yourself out there!”
“Maybe I don’t want to,” I muttered under my breath. It didn’t even feel like she treated me like I was an adult most of the time.
“What?” she said. “You still have your whole life to look forward to, I promise, even with a husband. You have plenty of time to figure everything out. Even if you don’t want to be a teacher—” I shot her a look, and she promptly changed gears. “I’m sure you’ll figure out what you do want to do soon. And then you’ll find a nice man, settle down, and give me some grandkids, okay?”
“Mom,” I groaned. “After Jake… I just don’t think I’m ready to date anyone right now. And I’m not getting married. I don’t think love is for me.” I didn’t want to go through that heartbreak again. I just couldn’t let someone else have my heart just to rip it out of my chest cavity.
“Nonsense.” My mother just scoffed at me. “Love is for everyone. And you never know… maybe you’ve already met the right person and you just don’t know it yet.” I raised an eyebrow at her, and she smirked. I could see the wheels turning in her head, and I opened my mouth to shut her down, but she waved me off.
“I don’t… I can’t get left again.” I said quietly, under my breath so I wasn’t sure if my mom even heard.
No matter what she said, no matter what I was even feeling… yeah, that wasn’t going to happen. So I wasn’t going to tell her about Professor Matthew Harper and my stupid crush on the man. Because no matter how gorgeous he was and how much I wanted to see him smile at me all the time, he and I weren’t going to be some crazy love story, some fated pair who fell in love.
So what if I thought he was attractive? I bet the whole school did.
But I certainly wasn’t going to act on it.
Not ever.