Page 48 of Perfect Pact
“All right, buddy.” I give him a little scratch behind the ear as pollen boy rubs against my leg. “Calm down, Vincent Van-Goat. You need to wait your turn.”
They start the cutest little symphony of baaah-ing, each to a different tune. There’s a goat beatbox going on.
“Allright…I feel you guys.” I dance around, filling each bucket. A brown goat follows me, baaah-ing an octave higher than the others. This one has some big ass hooves. “Work it, Captain-Hoof! Wiggity, wiggity, wiggity, wack!”
As I’m filling the last bucket, a different goat walks into the area, and the other goats get out of the way, all the baaah-ing stopping at once.
“Thanks, guys.” I eye Captain, Vincent, and Ryan, who left me hanging. “So, who do we have here?” I bend down, getting eye-level to the goat who was eyeing me through the window. “I’m catching what you’re throwing.” I back away from the bucks.
“Baaah-baaah-baaah!” the goat warns.
“I see.” I bow to the leader of the four-man, grass-eating crew Beth hired. “You must be the Goat-Father.”
“Baaah!” The Goat-Father jerks his head up as if that’s all the effort he’s going to put into this conversation.
“So, you’re the king of this hill, huh?” I take a step back, unsure whether he’s having a friendly conversation or about to charge me. Since I’m out here in my underwear, I’m not sure I want to take the chance of losing a nut over this.
“Baaaa-baaaa!” The Goat-father speaks up. Probably making me an offer he thinks I can’t refuse, but I’m not sure about that.
“What are you sayin’?” I cross my arms over my chest and puff it out. “You wanna deal? Is that it?”
“Baaah.”
“I don’t make deals.” I rub my beard, showing this goat whatever he thinks he has, I have one better.
“Baaahhh!” He gets louder, and the other goats trot off.
“Shit!”
I cover my nuts and begin to back up. “Maybe I do make deals. Whatever it is—you got it.” I spin around and run toward the house, taking the stone path back, making sure to turn off the hydrant first.
I breathe a sigh of relief, thankful to have escaped with both nuts and my pride. If Beth would have seen this, I never would have heard the end of—
Speaking of the beautiful devil…
Beth is leaning against the railing at the top of the steps, blonde hair piled on top of her head, still wearing only my red St. Louis Cardinals T-shirt.Legs for days.
“Who’s trespassing now?” Beth flashes me a wicked grin over the rim of her mug.
“I wouldn’t exactly call it that.” I climb the stairs two at a time until I’m standing in front of her. “Do you see anything missing?”
She continues to look at me, her eyes glancing down. “Your pants.”
“No—” I tilt my head to the side. “I meant to do that.”
“Hmmm?” she hums as she nibbles on her bottom lip, turning me on. If she looks too closely, she might see exactly what she does to me.
“I’ll help you out.” I swing my head over to the barn. “See anything that doesn’t belong?”
Beth giggles.
“I mean, you finally broke in your boots.”
“More than broke in—I practically bathed them in country.”
“I think you blend in pretty well for a city slicker.” She fights back a smile. “I had no clue you were a goat whisperer.”
“You saw that, huh?”