Page 73 of Unlikely to Stay
Kelda clapped her hands in glee.“Iknewit!I told you I could, but I’m not sure I can keep this a secret, Doc.This is somegoodgossip.I’ll be the star of our game days at the center.We all know that ninny Madge Perkins has been trying to upstage me ever since me and Burty got together.She’s super jealous of me, you know.”
Brant did not know.At all.But if their cat fight in CC’s shop was any indication of how the women felt about each other, he wasn’t surprised.
“I really wish you would keep it a secret, Kelda.Is there anything I can do for you that would entice you to do that?”
Kelda’s smile split her face.“Now that you mention it, thereissomething you could do.A teeny, tiny something that wouldn’t hurt anything at all.”
“What is it?”
“You see, I have this following on social media.My name is Meemaw Meowzza and I’m up to seven thousand followers.I get the most likes for a certain type of post.”
Brant groaned inside his head.Collen was totally right in her prediction of what Kelda wanted.“What kind of post is it?”
“I’ve got this hashtag I use…it’s called sexy man buns.And I don’t mean the stupid buns all the long-haired men are putting in their hair.Those things havegotto go.Mysexy man buns are what they imply.Sexy man asses.And yours…I think yours would get alotof likes.”
“You want a picture of my butt?”
Kelda nodded enthusiastically.“I want a picture of your butt.”
“And if you get this picture, youpromiseyou won’t tellanyoneabout my kiss with Colleen?”
Kelda pretended to zip her lips and throw away the key.“I promise.”
“Not even Burt?”
Kelda started to object.
“You know if you tell Burt he’ll tell Marty over their morning checkers game and by the afternoon the entire town will know,” he said.
Kelda shook her head.“You’re right.That poor man couldn’t keep a secret if his life depended on it.”
“But you?”
Kelda nodded her head enthusiastically.“I can and Iwill.Even from Burty.But if he asks, you have to tell him you held me at gunpoint and made me swear not to tell him.”
“Fine,” Brant sighed.Then, slowly, he took off his lab coat and turned around, feeling like a dirty piece of meat the entire time.He heard Kelda reach for something in her purse and looked over his shoulder to see her pulling out her phone.
“Man, I wish everyone was this cooperative.Usually I have to sneak the pictures of all the buns when the men aren’t looking.It takes me a lot of tries because usually they’re on the move.It makes the asses all blurry.A blurry ass don’t get too many likes.”
“Just get it over with, Kelda.”
Brant heard the click of the camera several times before Kelda told him he could turn around.She held up her phone for him to see.“You do have one fine booty, Doc.I bet I could bounce quarters off it.Don’t tell my Burty, but it’s even finer than his.”
Brant’s butt was better than an octogenarian’s.Just great.
“Well, I gotta go, Doc.And don’t worry about that prescription for the stomach cramps.They just seemed to have disappeared.Must’ve been something I ate.”
Brant couldn’t believe what had just happened.His butt was going to be on social media for thousands of people to see.He just hoped no one recognized it or Kelda hash tagged his name.The town would never quit talking.
“Soooo…whathas been with you and that handsome Brant Billings needing dinner so frequently lately?Don’t think I wasn’t going to ask eventually.I’ve given you a couple of weeks.Now it’s time to spill.”
Sadie was sitting in CC’s salon chair, CC dyeing it the dark auburn shade she’d been using on Sadie’s hair since the dye CC’s mom used on her hair was discontinued.Sadie had always drawn her eyebrows to match the shade.She said the only secret she had was the fact people believed auburn was her natural hair color and she had every intention of keeping it that way until she was dead in her grave.She even made CC pull down the blinds and lock the door until her color was finished.To CC, it was a tad dramatic, but hey, it was Sadie’s hair.
“He’s just helping me work on the gym,” CC said, hoping to evade the inquisition.She was surprised Sadie had waited this long to ask her.
“Every time I’ve come in to deliver your food,” Sadie said, “Which, by the way,isn’ta service my café usually offers, all it looks like to me is you two have been getting all doe-eyed at each other.”
“Sadie!Have you notseenall the work we’ve done on the place?With his help it’s gone so much faster than I ever thought possible!He even took off work that first day to help me!”She realized her mistake as soon as the words slipped from her mouth.