Page 17 of The Sacrifice
“I’m busy.” Heat tinges my cheeks. I’m a horrible liar, but breaking Jackson’s confidence is eating at my gut.
“What are you busy doing?”
“Oh, this and that.”
“What’s wrong with you? You’re being evasive. Are you seeing someone? How in the hell did you meet someone? And where? I was with you yesterday, and you didn’t say a word. Is he good-looking?”
“Enough already,” I sigh and shove off the door, pacing the room. This bedroom is twice as big as my brother’s spare room. “I’ll tell you, but you’ve got to swear to keep this between you and Kevin and no one else. Promise?”
“Shit. This must be good.” Her voice changed from irritated to inquisitive in a couple of seconds.
I flop onto the bed and stare at the ceiling. How many times did we do this while growing up? Hundreds? Thousands? Too many to count.
As I fill her in, she gasps and curses in time with the dropped bombshells that Jackson’s been hit with over the last twelve hours.
“I don’t know what to say. That’s horrible. I…. I can’t even think of the words to say. That woman is atrocious. My babies are the most important things in the world. Who would abandon their child? Even my ex, who was a worthless piece of you know what as a husband, is a good father.”
“I know. It’s horrible. And she’s so adorable.” I can’t stop the smile from creeping up to my cheeks as I envision him holding her like she’s a football. His big muscular arms kept her safe and secure. “You should see her. She has dark hair and gorgeous brown eyes. And the same birthmark as Jackson. When she gets older, I know she’ll have the same dimples he has.”
“Oh, nooooo….”
“What?” I jump off the bed as my heart races in my chest.
“You’re doing it again. Only it’s worse this time. You’re going to fall for both of them.”
“No. I’m not.” I haven’t said anything about his washboard abs or the V leading to his shorts. Or his….Fuck.I didn’t need to. If I was talking to anyone else, they wouldn’t have heard anything, but this is Jade.
“Fine.” I tuck the phone between my shoulder and ear and wave my hands in exasperation. “He’s good-looking, but it’s Jackson. He’s my brother’s best friend. My younger brother’s best friend.”
“He’s not twelve anymore. And don’t talk to me about age gaps in a condescending tone.” Jade is nine years older than Kevin, and she’s lying if she says it didn’t bother her at first. It did. She struggled with trusting he’d be interested in her. And when he was. She didn’t believe it would last.
“It’s not the same. You and Kevin didn’t meet until you were both adults. I’ve seen Jackson with dried food in the corners of his mouth.”
Jade laughs, breaking some of the tension. “So what? Did he have food crusted on him today?”
“As a matter of fact, he did. Formula.”
“Oh, God. That’s so hot. Watching Kevin take care of the kids makes me horny every time. You are in so much trouble. How does he look in his T-shirt? Does the material stretch over his chest and biceps? I bet it does,” she sighs loudly into the phone.
“Not as good as he looks without a shirt on.”
“Oh, do tell me more. I’ve got to hear this.”
My sex clenches in betrayal as I relay to her everything that’s happened today. I could lie and say I’m not attracted to him, but that’s what it is–a lie. He’s fucking hot, and this is the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. And I thought losing three years of my life dating Warren, only to have him skip town with a Hooters’ girl, was bad. This one is worse. This one comes with family complications and a baby. “Don’t worry. He’s attractive. I’d be blind not to notice, but he’s not my type.”
“When I say this, it’s not to push you toward Jackson, and I’m saying it with all the love in my heart, but you do realize your type sucks ass, right?”
“Thank you.” I roll my eyes even though she can’t see me.
“No, I’m serious. You think you’d be happy with Mr. Workaholic, but Mr. Workaholic wasn’t even happy with himself. Do you miss him?”
I stand in the middle of the room. The only sound is the air conditioning circulating the scent of fresh rain throughout the room from the electrical plugin.Holy crap. I don’t miss him.It’s like a weight has been lifted off me. I’m not sad. I’m not depressed. I don’t spend hours thinking about him.
The only thing that hurts is that I expected to be married by now and planning to adopt a baby. Now, I must explore the topic on my own. And where will I come up with the money to raise a kid on my own?
I’ve saved up enough for adoption, but daycare, diapers, formula? That’s going to cost a lot. And where will I work? I can’t drag a baby from nanny job to nanny job. It was easier when Warren’s money was in the mix. God, did I only want him for his money? Who in the hell am I?
“No, I don’t miss him.”