Page 10 of Hard Road Home
With a last look around the kitchen she acquiesced. “I do need to make a list for Tamara.”
He helped himself to eggs and bacon and a hash brown from the warmer and sat at the large central counter to eat it, perched on a stool. Most of his relationship with Bonnie had taken place upstairs in what used to be his bedroom, yet it was the kitchen where he always visualised her when he was missing her. Apart from late at night, alone in his bed. That was a completely different scenario. On recent visits he had tended to avoid the kitchen. Her absence left it empty, along with a hollowness in his chest, even with Gran bustling around in her usual fashion.
Bonnie rushed into the room when he was washing his plate. “I thought you’d be with Flo.”
“She’s writing a list for Tamara. Or rather, Don is writing the list under her instructions.” He dried the plate and slotted it into the cupboard. “I have some free time, so I thought I might give you a hand with lunch.”
“You’re kidding. Xander Mac, peeling potatoes?”
“If it’s a safety peeler, Roger can’t object.” He held up his hands. “Gotta protect the assets.”
It made her laugh and she pointed out the vegetables laid out on one of the benches. “I put out extra in case Tamara and Colin get here in time. One of the guests will be having lunch, but not with us.”
“That’s unusual. Is he a regular?”
“Some city dude. Flo managed to winkle out he’s here to buy property. I better get back.” She pulled milk from the fridge and vanished through the swing door into the dining room. He wasn’t going to get much sense from her while she was looking after the guests.
He washed his hands at the special sink in the alcove with the first aid station and scooped up the container of potatoes. Peeling was the kind of mindless task he enjoyed. It allowed him to think without getting too deep. Life was easier if you kept your thoughts skimming over the surface. Not caring too much kept you from being hurt. It was safer if people and things didn’t have power over you. That mindset had kept him from the lure of drugs and alcohol. No way was he falling into the trap of letting an illegal substance control his actions. He’d seen the results long before Tinker fell into the spiral of addiction.
Dragging his thoughts back to the present, he placed Bonnie front and centre. She was a better place to linger. He’d tried not to let her defection affect him. Keeping it light was his motto and it worked well. Perhaps the fact she was his friend was what made it so hard to let go. He’d missed the friendship as much as the sex. Sex was another thing he placed in the basket with drugs and alcohol. It could be an addiction.Especially with Bonnie.He could keep his dick under control.Except with Bonnie.Maybe she wasn’t such a safe space.
Because she was important. He liked people in general, but they didn’t matter in the same way. He could count on one hand the people whoreallymattered in his life. His grandparents. Leo. Bonnie. His brother, who he hadn’t seen in more than a decade. He didn’t know why he still cared about his brother. He’d been sixteen, and the only person Xander could rely on, and he left. He had never been able to rely on his mother; in his head, she’d been elsewhere long before she left.
Tinker had been one of them, but he’d bowed out of caring for Xander’s opinion years ago.
His father had left before Xander had been born, no more permanent in his mother’s life than any of her men, not even Sunny’s unknown and long-gone dad who she’d claimed was the love of her life when she was maudlin. The only people who hadn’t left Xander were his grandparents, and he couldn’t count on having them around forever. One day Leo would find a girl and his loyalty would go to her, as it should. Even Bonnie couldn’t make herself stay for him.
He had no illusions about his fans. The moment he stopped producing hits, they’d be gone, following another star who fed them what they craved. The only person he could rely on was himself.
Chapter Four
Xander Mac wearingjeans and a T-shirt in the large kitchen seemed to fill the entire space. He wasn’t big like Zac Hart, his height and build more average. Lean and muscular worked. Worked very nicely. After the blip in his teen years, he worked hard to stay in shape. The shed down the back had housed not only the band’s equipment, but a home gym. She wasn’t sure how he worked out when he was on the road, but the fancy hotels he stayed at would have a gym on site.
Now he looked nothing like a big country music star, chopping up pumpkin and peeling potatoes with a dexterity honed by long years playing musical instruments. He showed no fear of the knife in spite of his earlier comments. The years he’d spent helping Flo in the kitchen growing up gave him confidence in the task.
“Where do you go after the concert?” She blurted out the question, breaking the harmony of their earlier silence working together, her prepping the meat and making dessert while he did the veggies.
He pushed aside the pile of potatoes and reached for the onions and a fresh knife from the block in the centre of the island workbench. “I haven’t decided. We’ll definitely stay in Australia. We might even stay here, close to home.”
She could see him eyeing her narrowly, as if seeking to read her response. As if it meant something.
“What would you do here?”
“Leo and I want to focus on writing new songs. Several artists do covers of some of our hits and we figure we could offer fresh material. We’ve already sold some.”
He mentioned a major US country name and she had to sit down. She’d known, in theory, Xander was a star. To have his name coupled with a music legend she’d grown up fangirling over brought home how far he’d gone from this small country town. “What about the rest of the band?”
“Andrew wants to work permanently in the US, close to home. His family are in Montana. Ben is marrying a girl from Perth. She runs a ballet school and he has a business degree.”
“A match made in practicality. How did they meet?”
“She attended a concert with a bunch of friends. They came backstage after and Ben was on his knees the moment they met. They’ve hardly seen each other since, but they keep in touch through social media and Skyping. Endless Skyping.”
“Boring, huh.”
He grinned. “For the rest of us.”
“Must have been a downer having one of the lads dropping out of the party scene and one-night stand club.”