Page 23 of Hard Road Home
Her hand tightened in his. “You said never contact you again. So I didn’t. You’d already accused me of being only interested because you were famous. Why would I want to act like a weird stalker?”
“You didn’t even try?”
Colour washed over her face. “I asked Tinker to pass on a message once when I was planning to come to Nashville that first year. I assumed when I didn’t hear anything he probably forgot or maybe you ignored it, so I went to Prince Edward Island instead. Either way, it makes no difference now.”
It would have made all the difference back then. Four wasted years. His own fault. Even if he hadn’t received the message, he’d let his resentment go on too long. “I should have contacted you.”
“Your choice.” It was dismissive. As if it no longer mattered.
“How come you were in touch with Tinker anyway?”
“He always kept in touch. I’d known him nearly as long as I’ve known you. There was history.”
He couldn’t accept that she was out of his reach forever. “We have a lot of history. We could have a future too.”
The music stopped and they stood motionless in the centre of the floor. “You keep talking about the future. What kind of future could we have? We’re too different. You’re a megastar and I’m a chef. I don’t want to follow you around the world like some groupie, waiting for a moment between your fangirls.”
He gripped her arm and walked her to an empty table, aware of the interested stares of the other patrons. Trudie frowned in his direction and he nodded in acknowledgement. Once Bonnie was settled, he launched into his spiel.
“It wouldn’t be like that. I’m going to be home more, only do small gigs, with Leo and me, and with the O’Brien boys locally now and then.”
“Doing your song writing?”
“Yeah. Maybe helping with the Highland Inn in between. My grandparents aren’t getting any younger.” He wondered if she knew about them wanting to travel back to Scotland to see family. If they wanted Bonnie to cancel her plans to travel, they needed to approach her soon. He compressed his lips. It wasn’t his responsibility to ask and he couldn’t do it without prejudice. He wanted her to stay.
“Why now, Xander? You’re still young and your career is still going strong. You could tour for another ten years and still have plenty of time to settle down with a family.”
“We’re all tired. The guys have had enough. What happened with Tinker made us all evaluate where we are. It’s only fun for so long, doing the constant touring.”
“It’s all about the fun for you, isn’t it?”
“What’s wrong with fun? Besides, if you plan on a relationship, it makes it hard to impossible.”
“Surely all the one-night stands make up for it?”
He stared at her, wondering if the bitterness was because he’d never contacted her. “Sex with strangers can be about as fulfilling as a handjob. Release is great, but it’s not satisfying in the long term.”
Her fair skin bloomed with colour again. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t assume that you sleep with every woman you’re seen with.”
“No, you shouldn’t. Besides, I don’t like strangers getting close. You should know that much about me.” He couldn’t say anything more without showing his frustration.
“Have you had a relationship that didn’t work out?”
He thought of all the times he’d begged her to come with him and her rejections and the pain in his chest spiked. “Yeah.”
Her lashes flicked down to shadow her eyes, her gaze shifting to his hands on the table. “I’m sorry. That must have hurt.” Even her voice came out subdued.
“We all decided to make a fresh start. Leo and I want to do it here. Build a sound studio. There are a few other local musicians who might be interested. Save them travelling out of town.”
“It all sounds ideal.”
He hesitated before putting it out there. “You could be part of it.”
“Me?”
“You and me and some kids. It would be fun.”
“What if it wasn’t fun?”