Page 31 of Stiletto Sins
“When I was first looking for your sister, I taught myself to code and took a few classes. I needed information that I couldn’t get from legal sources, so I asked around and discovered a club, The MidKnight Guild. Being part of MKG would’ve granted me access to databases, programs, and keys to almost anything. In order to be part of it, you have to prove your skills. They match you up with other hackers, and as a team, you’re given tasks. They varied in skill and difficulty. There were four of us at first, but by the end, it was just Obsidian and Blackhawk. I thought we were friends…” I shook my head, fighting back the tears that wanted to fall.
“I’d met Blackhawk through another club, and he sent me Oblivion’s information. I was, um,” Cohen cleared his throat, the first sign of remorse I’d ever seen from him as he spoke. “I’d just gotten a summer internship with Fin’s dad. I didn’t know she was Oblivion until afterward when I heard the news of her arrest. I didn’t want to believe that the badass hacker chick was the seventeen-year-old daughter of my boss.”
He paused, stepping forward and squatting so he was at eye level. Cohen picked up my free hand, his thumb rubbing across it in a way that felt too natural.
“I’m sorry I never told you afterward that I knew you. That wasn’t cool of me. At first, I didn’t want to blur lines. But after a while, it felt too late to say anything. The dread weighed on me that you wouldn't hear me out if you ever found out. I’d just be the weirdo who kept this huge secret from you. I’m sorry for that. It wasn’t fair. And I hope you know that it’s the one thing in my life I regret. Your friendship meant something to me, and I should’ve been brave enough to tell you the truth.”
I searched his eyes, realizing how blue they were this close. They always seemed so stormy far away, but not at this moment; they were as clear as a sunny day.
“You’re forgiven, and honestly, I wasn’t too upset when I found out. That night was a lot to deal with, so it was easier to pretend it was because of you. I’ve been cowardly not saying anything either when we’ve worked together, so I’m sorry.”
He smiled, and I couldn’t deny how it made my insides flip. Even when I thought he was just my dad’s dorky intern, he always had. I was just too lost in my own world to notice back then.
“Just to clear the air,” Asa started, clearing his throat.
Looking at him, I was worried I’d see the disgust on his face after I stared into another guy's eyes, but I didn’t. Asa proved to me again how good he was and how much I didn’t deserve him. He looked at me with nothing but love and understanding.
“Cohen and I talked a lot these past weeks, and I’ve gotten to know him. Whatever you two feel for each other or don’t feel for each other, that’s for you to decide. Don’t let me stand in the way of that.”
“Wait!” I shouted, grabbing his hand firmly as fear started to engulf me. “Are you saying you’re walking away?” Tears I’d been holding back for weeks came to the surface, and I felt like I was on a precipice as I waited for him to answer. Asa screwed up his nose, and I couldn’t take it any longer as words began to flow out of my mouth.
“Asa, no, please don’t do this. I’m sorry. I thought I had to leave, that we were strong enough. I don’t want to lose you. I can’t. I love you.” I threw my arms around his neck as I sobbed, deciding I’d find a way to hold him hostage or something until he loved me again.
“Fin,” he soothed, “Fin, no, it’s not that. Shh, don’t cry.” He rocked me back and forth, his hand rubbing up my back. The towel I had wrapped around my head had gone askew from the movement, and my wet hair began to fall out of it. I couldn’t make out words as he tried to comfort me, too consumed by my own fear.
I felt the towel be moved off my head, releasing a lot of pressure. It took a while for me to realize that someone was combing it out as well, the gentle strokes soothing me even more. When I finally was able to stop my tears, I could hear what Asa was saying.
“I love you, Finley. I’m not walking away. I’m just saying you don’t have to just choose me. I don’t want to live my life without you. You’re my everything. I’ve been so lost without you these past few weeks. I promise I’m not leaving. I just want to be with you. Always.”
I sat back, wiping my face, looking at him. His green eyes sparkled, and I realized it was because of the tears he’d shed as well. I cupped his face, kissing his lips briefly. I hadn’t let myself do that earlier, too afraid of the answer. But now, it felt like the most natural thing, and I knew we both needed it.
When I leaned back, I felt another body behind me. I tensed for a second but then relaxed, knowing it was Cohen and he’d been the one to brush my hair. Leaning my head against him, I tilted it up and found him peering down at me.
“Thank you, that felt nice.”
“Anytime, sweetheart. Especially if I get to be part of the activity that makes you wet, to begin with.” He winked at me, and I froze, not sure how to take the flirting. When I heard Asa chuckle, it released the tension in me, and I let out my own giggle.
“I will have to get used to you flirting with me, aren’t I?”
“It’s my love language.” He grinned, and I had a feeling I’d come to crave those smiles if I let myself.
Sitting up, I turned so I could look at both of them. “I’m not sure where my heart is right now. I’ve denied it for so long; I think it's default is to hide away from me. I know that there are times I feel like my insides might explode when I’m around you, but it’s hard for me to reconcile that. I’ve never been the girl that guys wanted. I was the nerdy, weird girl in school and then once I got in trouble, only the guys who thought that meant I was easy were interested. Before Asa, I’d only had sex twice, and it hadn’t been pleasant. I’m scared that if I let myself want more, that it will be taken away from me.”
Asa squeezed my hand, kissing it. “I’m not going anywhere, and maybe you just need to let yourself be open to the idea instead of putting pressure on yourself to know now.”
“I’m not expecting you to just start making out with me, you know. There needs to be foreplay,” Cohen said, chuckling before his face turned serious. “For now, I’m just making my intentions known so that there’s no miscommunication. Maybe we should get back to why we’re here and leave the matters of the heart for another day?”
“Right, yes, perfect.” I nodded my head a little too aggressively, my hair swinging back and forth as the wet strands hit my cheeks.
“So you were telling us about Blackhawk,” Asa prompted, giving me my out.
“Yes, I thought we were friends. But on the last mission, I was set up and arrested. It wasn’t my first time. I’d gotten into a few other things over the year but always let off. This… it was more serious. I was charged, and after a night in juvy, I was given 300 hours of community service. It left a bitter taste in my mouth, especially when I got my computer back and found I’d been kicked off the server and ghosted by my two supposed friends.”
I took a breath, the anger and rage coursing through me again.
“So, you’re what, after revenge? And why just Blackhawk and not Obsidian?” Asa asked.
“Because Blackhawk and I had a relationship outside of our team. Obsidian wasn’t part of that. He was a bit of a control freak, but he was sweet overall. No, it was Blackhawk. He was the one who told me to meet him, and then he never showed, but the police did.”