Page 5 of Revival

"You're really doing this?" Lindsay asks as we hide from the party going on downstairs. My best friend levels me with a gaze only she can get away with. She’s very aware that I don’t do anything without a plan, so she’s not likely to believe I’mactuallygoing to see this through.

"I think so. What else am I supposed to do? After Jason left, I still had the kids. With them both going away to college, I'll be alone, day in and day out. I can't do that in a home my ex-husband and I planned to grow old in. I'll go fucking nuts!"

"What's your plan? Are you going to rent somewhere until you figure out the next move? Promise me you're staying somewhere close to Sonoma," she pleads.

"How about I promise to come back and visit anytime you want?"

"Seriously? Are youleavingleaving? You've lived in Sonoma your entire life. All your family is here.” Lindsay searches my gaze. “Oh, Andi, please don't tell me you plan on following the kids."

"No, I'm not, but I won't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind.” I chuckle, imagining myself crashing into their dorms any chance I got. “I'm divorced, about to turn forty, and I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. But I do know I need to leave Sonoma.” I take a sip of my wine. “Every corner I turn, I'm faced with places and memories I need to move on from. The restaurant where we had our first date, the park bench where we shared our first kiss… I can’t stay here, Linds.”

“I know. I get it, I do.”

“For the first time, I get to make those selfish choices I've sacrificed for the past twenty years." An excited smile creeps from the edges of my lips.

"Okay." She draws out her word, eyeing me suspiciously.

“For the first time in my life, I want to throw caution to the wind, do those things I never got to do. Jason was my high school sweetheart, and we had kids so early. I missed out on so many things in my twenties.”

Lindsay snorts. “Yeah, like barfing in fields or waking up in the beds of men whose names you can’t remember.”

“Exactly!” I clink my glass against hers and we both laugh, then Lindsay cocks her head.

"Do you have a bucket list?" she asks.

"No. I have ideas, but I've never written them down before. I wouldn't say I like the idea of a bucket list. It sounds like you are coming to the end of something."

"Ah.” She nods. “Understood. This is the beginning, not the end.” She pauses for a moment, quietly contemplating, then her blue eyes flash with excitement. “I’ve got it!" Lindsay springs up to grab a piece of paper and pen from my dresser. "We are going to make you a list, but not a bucket list. Nope! This is going to be yourrevivallist."

"My what?" I laugh in confusion.

"We are going to make a list of all the things you want to bring you back to life, to revive you.” She waggles her eyebrows as she pushes the paper toward me. “Let’s figure out the first ten things on your list."

My eyes widen. "Ten? I think this is going to take some more wine." I top off our glasses, grab my laptop and embark on The Revival of Andrea Raffield.

Just after two o’clock in the morning, with a house relatively quiet below us and two empty bottles of wine beside us, my best friend and I have created the first ten items on my list.

Andrea's Revival List:

1. Play Blackjack in Vegas

2. Skinny dip in the ocean

3. Get a tattoo

4. Adopt a dog

5. Have a one-night stand

6. Eat at a Waffle House

7. Visit a US Landmark

8. Take a picture with Winona Ryder's Hollywood Star

9. See the world’s largest rubber duck

10. Go to a festival