Page 12 of Broken Reign

I’m already naked beneath my covers. I run my hands up my ribcage, closing my eyes and imagining the feel of Mikhail’s beard against my neck, along with his soft, cool, firm lips. I suck on my fingers to get it wet and tug on my nipples to emulate Calder’s lips on them. I take my textured dildo and start moving it against my clit to imagine Axel’s mouth down there. The images of them in my head come and go, driving me crazy as I try to grasp onto them, needing them there to hold me and fuck me, kiss the life out of me. I turn the vibrator on and attach it to my clit to erase any gaps from my imagination and to make it hard for me to think of anything else but them.

The sudden pull on my clit, without my own doing, sends shocks up my spine as I arch my back into the subtle vibration, biting my lower lip and running my hands over my body. The pressure starts to build, turning my insides into liquid, causing it to pool out of my legs. I imagine shoving my hand into Axel’s hair, pulling on it as I hold him there, rubbing my ass against my bed sheet. I moan Axel’s name and that slight pain that manifests as a result of overwhelming pleasure settles between my legs.

I grab the double ended dildo and I insert one end into my body, thinking about Mikhail’s bulky and large six-foot-five frame towering over me, making me lose myself in his shadow. I cry out his name, thrusting the long gel-like object in and out of my pussy. Warm liquid starts to seep out onto the end inside of me. I moan, licking the air, taking the dildo by one hand, moving fast to squeeze one of my breasts with the other as I writhe and lock my legs, enclosing a sum of its length inside of me. My whole room smells like my sex and my moans are the only thing I hear before the image of Mikhail slips away. I shut my eyes in desperation and the image of Calder taking his turn to fuck me is alive.

I smile in relief, increasing the speed as my pussy loosens from my own juices. I yell and shudder, moving my body against the dildo stuck inside of me as both my hands fly to my side, holding the sheets so tight I think I might rip them. Pleasure rolls over and over inside of me as sweat pools down my face and body. I don’t want the pleasure to ever end so I ride it out and try to prolong it until I can’t anymore and the thought of pleasure starts making me sick. I pull the dildo outside of myself, feeling my pussy snap back with its removal. And I lay there for a while panting before getting up to pee.

When I return from the bathroom, I look at my empty bed that’s now lost all its warmth as I’m reminded that they’re not actually here. Instead of feeling sexy, I feel cold and exposed. I wash up and put on baggy clothes as stress comes flooding back to me ten times over. My heart’s beating fast and now not only am I reminded of the stress I was trying to avoid, but I’m adding to my stress by missing the men I let go of.

The realization hits me now that orgasming no longer gives me the high I’m looking for, neither does killing, since I did it today and came home bored. I’m filled with fear when noticing that I’ll need something a lot stronger and there was only one thing in the past that made me numb to everything and that was meth. Meth was replaced by the thrill of murder and rescuing. And the discovery of pleasurable sex. Now that its replacements aren’t hitting the way they used to, I find myself craving the original drug to help me relax.

I remember what that shit did to me. Most of the time I had no control over what would happen to me back then. I’d hear fucking voices and shit, start seeing multiples and I was desperate for the next high, so desperate that I’d allow all sorts of things to happen to me, just for a hit. The thought of going back to it is fucking terrifying. But as images of my home being burst into by my enemies play on repeat in my head, I find myself becoming jittery, twitching my head from side to side and my fingers are shaking. The reason for my fear isn’t that I’m afraid they’re going to kill me, it’s more that I’m afraid to fail. I’m afraid that all the hard work that I’ve been putting in over the last year, planning every single detail to make sure that the execution is perfect will be destroyed before it can even get started because of something I missed. I think about my recruits being killed before we gain our true victory, that’s not just punishing pimps, it’s punishing the whole city of Las Vegas, making them respect us, fear us and abide by our rules this time.

I think about all the time, energy and money I’ve invested into ensuring our success being for absolutely fucking nothing if I’ve misjudged the timing and they plan a raid on me now. I can manage a few of them if they come knocking now, but what if I underestimated them? What if I’m not as prepared as I think I am? What if the next news report is one where my recruits learn that I’ve been found dead in my home? Will they lose hope in the mission or will they continue it for me?

I’m pacing in my bedroom and for some reason, my chest feels so full and tight that I start believing it might explode. Shit. Fuck. I’m not the same person I was when I used to be on meth before. I was lost and helpless. I had no hope, no goals, no purpose yet I still managed to get off it. Now I’ve experienced love, I know what I’m capable of and I’ve got the proof that I’m a force to be fucking reckoned with. Meth won’t affect me the same way. I won’t let it control me. I just want some to help me relax and get rid of this fucking pathetic fear to fucking fall asleep because I’m afraid they’ll come knocking and catch me off guard. I don’t know what the fuck’s happening to me and why I’m panicking so hard but I know who can help me.

The man who supplies me with tranquilizers. Marco. Just by picking up the phone, knowing he’s within my reach, my pulse stops racing as much. It doesn’t take him long to show up at my door and I’m already standing by it, waiting to let him in. He’s not bad looking either. He is a little skinny but he’s got a nice face, even if it has a few scars on it. His clothes aren’t tight but they aren’t baggy either. His arms are exposed by his vest tank top over jeans. He walks in the door with an unlit blunt in the corner of his mouth.

He pulls out a little bag of crystals and I pay him for it. I’m feeling lonely so I ask him to stay. He lights his pipe and pulls white fog from it into his mouth. His eyes roll back as he closes his mouth, shutting the poison into his body. My mouth waters, hungry for some of the same poison. I grab the pipe from his hand with zeal as he offers it to me, placing the pipe between my lips and re-familiarizing myself with the feel of it and its taste as I pull it into my lungs as well. The rush hits me at once.

My heartbeat accelerates and it drowns out all other sounds around me, all other feelings, it’s like losing consciousness but being aware of it and not giving a fuck. All my thoughts are wiped clean, every worry, any fear, gone in a flash and I’m filled only with the adrenaline of a sprint even though I haven’t moved an inch.

I moan as the intensity of the rush brings me pleasure. When I open my eyes and look at Marco, he becomes the most beautiful human to me all of a sudden and I reach out to play with his skin. Running my hand over his body, I can feel each of his tiny hairs move through the friction ridges of my fingertips. The thought of combining pleasures awakes in me.

“Let’s fuck,” I tell him. “Because if we fuck, I’ll have someone in my bed to hold me and you don’t realize how important that is to know that you’re protected. Your eyes are so fascinating. Turn that way in the light. Wow! That’s amazing. You’ve got to see it.” I start pulling him to the bathroom to stare at himself in the mirror. I push his face closer to it, helping him open his eyes by lifting his upper eyelid for him. “Look at that! It’s like several oceans and galaxies swirling around in your eyes. Can you imagine having mind-blowing sex mixed with this feeling right now? It’d be amazing. Let’s have mind-blowing sex,” I tell him.

He grins. “Okay.”

Our bodies flop onto each other, knocking the soap dispenser onto the floor. Our teeth smash together as we kiss and he gropes my body. I shove him off me. “No, it’s not a great idea because if we fuck, I’ll probably fall in love with you and I don’t want to fall in love with anybody.”

“But you see, love is a chemical reaction, mixed with this chemical reaction and sex chemical reaction, it would be poof!” He motions with his hands, imitating an exploding head. He moves toward me again, kissing me and I moan because just the very fact that his body is close to mine and our bodies are moving against each other feels incredible.

But I have too much to say and perhaps, in my subconscious I know this isn’t a great idea and I push him off again. “Love makes you cry and it hurts and it’s not fun. So no sex for me tonight. Come on, go. Go. I’ll be fine by myself.” I start dancing while pushing him out of my bathroom and through my front door, slamming it in his face.

I start spinning in my living room, laughing to myself and singing before collapsing to the ground in dizziness. I stare up at the ceiling and as it stops spinning, I jump up again because I now feel like I have all the time and energy in the world. Sleep? Never heard of it. I go over to the briefcase of blades, opening it up and I swear I hear them sing to me. It’s like the heavens have opened up and gold light bounces off the blades, creating little pockets of light on the walls and ceiling of my home. I laugh with the lights, rubbing my hands along the blades before spinning around with one in my hand, striking the air, kicking and jumping from my sofa to the floor as if I’m in combat.

Chapter 8

Julissa

Idisassemblemyfinalgun of the collection, running an old toothbrush drenched with cleaner into the curves and creases of the weapon, before inserting a cotton swab to get into the hard to reach places. I don’t lift my head to notice the sunlight blaring into my bedroom to indicate the shift in time until I’m done cleaning and reassembling it. I’d grown bored during the night and thought of nothing better to do than polish all my blades and guns.

It’s time to go to work now though, so I jump out of bed after organizing each and every piece of equipment before throwing on some clothes. I’ve chosen a pair of shorts and a bralette under a sheer top because I want to feel sexy and the whole all black pants and tank top isn’t doing it for me this morning. I toss my weapons in a cute purse backpack that I bought and never wore before because it’s so flirty and I’ve had no one to flirt with. And head out the door without a shower, breakfast or brushing my teeth.

When I arrive at the facility in sandals and nothing the girls are accustomed to seeing me wear to work, I’m met with stares of shock but I just think they’re looking at me in admiration. “Good morning!” I beam, almost skipping inside.

There’s a collective grumble of everyone saying, “Good morning,” in return. They sound like they’re lacking energy when I feel like I can take on the world right now, they should get on my level.

Selena makes her way over to me. “Hey! What are you doing here so early?” I ask her the closer she gets.

“What are you doing here so late?” she asks.

WhatisMs. Lady going on about? I crumple my face in confusion. “What do you mean?” I look up at the wall to see that it’s almost 11:00AM.

“You usually get here before the sun is up so you can move without being seen.” She looks at me and I feel like she’s judging me.

“Well, baby. The whole world knows I’m here now! There’s no point in hiding anymore, is there? They’ve all seen my face at this point,” I tell her.