Page 17 of A Stronger Impulse
“My engagement was announced,” Harriet said, preening. “The colonel and I will be married in a month, and he plans to bring me to his brother’s estate, Broadhaven, to introduce me to the baronet. The colonel says it takes thirty servants to run the place, not including the gardeners!”
“My warmest congratulations,” Lizzy said, genuinely happy for Harriet. Living with her inattentive aunt could never have been ideal, as she well knew.
Harriet smiled condescendingly. “I suppose you shall be wishing to return to Longbourn soon? I can make arrangements for you. Why, I would send my own maid with you, and you may return her on the post.”
Lizzy’s belly clenched; here it was, practically an order to leave. “Yes. I will let you know shortly,” she promised, then wondered aloud about the baronet’s estate, giving Harriet more opportunity to boast—anything to change the subject.
Where could I go?The question beat in her brain as she tried not to panic.
She had her guinea still, and she could survive for a time on it—but what then? If she were to simply appear on the Bingleys’ doorstep whilst Jane and Bingley travelled, Miss Bingley might refuse to take her in, besides announcing to the countryside her situation at Longbourn. Would her father allow their rift to be exposed? She feared he very well might, with excuses casting her in no good light.
Between her worries for the Darcys and those of her own, she did not sleep well that night.
* * *
Lizzy hurried to her usual early morning meeting, wondering whether Georgiana would even come. A light rain fell from the early-August sky, which was, in and of itself, no great deterrent, but the wind was blowing madly, making the out of doors unpleasant. It was probably foolish to hope so, to rely upon poor, burdened Georgie as her one friend within all the problems of her life.
But there she was, huddled beneath an umbrella that did little to keep the wind-blown damp away.
“Will your wet clothing be noticed?” Lizzy asked worriedly. “Will Younge realise you have been out?”
A gust of wind nearly yanked the umbrella from her grip. “No one notices much of anything any longer. Everyone at the Lodge is in her pocket, but it is a slovenly bunch who only keep up appearances enough to fool Lady Matlock, should she arrive unexpectedly.”
Mrs Younge had truly succeeded in isolating both Darcys to the greatest extent possible. “Do you receive pin money? Perhaps you could simply leave if we can find a place for you to go. My visit here will soon end too. I cannot help but believe my new brother Bingley would help you, were he to learn of Mr Darcy’s troubles.”
“It has not been paid, not on the last quarter day, as was usual. Or else…perhaps it was, and she found a way to take it. If the colonel were here, I could ask him, but…” She shrugged helplessly. “I am sorry to hear you will be leaving. Very sorry indeed. You will go to…Longbourn, is it?”
Lizzy’s cheeks were already red from the wind and cold, hiding her mortification. But there was really no reason to hide her situation from Georgiana. “Not there, unfortunately. Longbourn is entailed upon my father’s cousin—and he proposed marriage. I refused him. My parents are very…displeased with me, to say the least. A lucky chance gave me the opportunity to come here with Harriet and away from parental wrath. But I am not welcomed home, not at present.”
She spoke lightly, but the younger girl immediately apologised. “Oh, Elizabeth…I am so sorry. You have listened to all my troubles again and again, while I have never reciprocated.”
“All will be well,” Lizzy said, refusing to put more of her own burdens on the girl’s shoulders. “I am eager to see Jane again, once she and Bingley are home from their wedding trip. But for now, I have found a new friend in you and feel fortunate to offer you my friendship in return.”
“Your friend Harriet is fortunate as well. I would invite you to stay with me, if only I could.”
And if only Harriet felt as Georgiana!But Lizzy would not say so; her pride dictated that she admit nothing more. “You are too kind. I would come to you, if it were possible.”
For long moments, they said nothing, letting the wind tear at their skirts. Still, despite the miserable weather, it was a companionable silence.
At last Georgiana sighed. “Why does life have to be so difficult, Lizzy?”
Lizzy smiled ruefully. “I do not know. I try to dwell more on all the things that might have gone wrong but did not. After all, your brother could be much sicker than he is. A lucky opportunity brought me here instead of to some unknown relation. You and I became friends. It could be worse.”
“If you had not come, I shudder to think…I felt so very alone. So hopeless. So…worthless. Nothing has really changed, I know, and yet…what if you had not been up here that morning three weeks ago, Lizzy? What then?”
Lizzy looked down at the pounding surf of the water below; the gusting wind churned it into a chaotic brew, the jutting rocks of the steep cliffside harsh and unforgiving arms clawing downwards to doom’s bosom. She took Georgiana’s hand and squeezed.