Page 19 of Absinthe and Heart
GRACE
Iglance around the cold familiar hospital room anxiously waiting for Jake, I mean Dr. Williams. Unfortunately, I’m not interested in the most eligible doctor. Instead, I’m more excited to get out of here for a change. I officially get back to work next week, and Marcus went back to work today.
Tonight we tell Harmony that we’re going on a date. Butterflies burst free, taking flight, and I hold my stomach with a smile. I’ve missed this excitement. I didn’t realize it until now, but life has been such a dull, monotonous routine, but now that Marcus barged in and shook everything up, it’s like I’m seeing in color for the first time. The world is brighter, and life seems so much easier. Even things like grocery shopping trips together have become something I enjoy instead of just another chore.
I want to be mad at myself for pushing him away for so long, but I wonder if we were ready six years ago. He was at the beginning of his career, and now it’s in full swing. He spent six weeks away, caring for me and only checking in. Would he have done that for me back then? Probably not, because I know I wouldn’t have let him.
We needed this time to grow our careers, and although I know we could have done that together, I think I would have grown bitter. It wouldn’t have been fair to put my daddy issues on Marcus, but the truth is meeting my biological father and being so utterly disappointed did a number on me. Being so in love with Marcus consumed me before. Now I’m a different person. Stronger on my own, and I know my worth. Not that Marcus ever made me feel less than. If anything, he gently showed me how strong I am over these years. But I know in my bones we’re stronger together.
“Grace. How is my favorite patient?” Dr. Williams asks, stepping into the small space. It seems to shrink as he comes in and stands so close to me I can smell the rubbing alcohol on his hands.
“Ready to be back on two legs and back to work.”
As a trained nurse, I’m used to the smell, but him standing so close is new.
“We’re ready to have you back. Sally Ann even wrote it on the back calendar, and a little birdie told me there’s going to be donuts.”
I laugh lightly, but my palms get sweaty when he puts his hands on my shoulders, forcing my full attention.
“I’m so glad you’re ok. You really scared me.”
“Um, thank you for your concern, but I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine, Grace. You need someone to take care of you. You do so much for everyone else, and you’re clearly exhausted. I think you’re the most selfless person I know, and you deserve someone good to come along and make everything better.”
This is awkward. Does he know about Marcus and me? Marcus was in bed with me while I was in the hospital, and I know Dr. Williams noticed, but something about how he’s using a softer bedroom voice confuses me. And he’s too close…and touching me.
“Thank you, Doc, but I’m doing just fine.” I try to push away the unease.
He steps back with a smile, but I can tell it’s forced. My skin starts to crawl as I watch a more sinister expression cross his face. He runs his tongue over his front teeth as his eyes roam from my feet to my face.
“I can’t wait to get this cast off you.”
My eyes stay laser-focused on his back as he picks out the tools to needed saw my cast off. Suddenly I wish I could keep the stupid thing on and just leave. Dr. Jake Williams has always been a professional. Even the time he asked me out, I didn’t feel pressured. He seemed like he assumed I wanted to, but he’s gorgeous. I’m sure women fall at his feet.
I however am feeling uncomfortable.
Biting his bottom lip, he takes my cast and sits on the low stool. I take a deep breath with my guard up. I’ve never known him to be this casual or unprofessional.
I watch as he takes the cast saw and holds it to the top of the hardened pink wrap. It’s painted with signatures and cute characters Willow and Harmony drew all over. If the thing wasn’t a reminder of how I let my life spiral out of control, I might have wanted to keep it.
The steady blade begins cutting through the shell, causing a vibration against my leg but nothing more. Dr. Williams might be acting too casual, but his focus luckily stays on the job. Once he runs the saw down the inside of my leg, he grips it and creaks it open. It itches like crazy, and I know my leg hair must be a mile long, but suddenly with the change in his demeanor, I’m glad it’s going to be gross.
“Almost free,” he says, running a pair of professional scissors through the gauze. The cool air hits my skin and instantly erupts a trail of goosebumps. I’m free, and all I want to do is scratch. It’s a gross mess of pressed hair and random fruit loops. He pushes away and turns to grab the wet rag.
“Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. I’ll give you a moment.”
He leaves, and I clean up. Glad I wore yoga pants.
Moments later, he’s back. “You’re all healed up.”
“Wonderful.”I can’t help but smile, standing on two even feet again.
I walk a few steps and then stretch both legs out on the bed. This is the part where he’s going to touch me. I’m surprised the thought isn’t appealing, but it sours my stomach.
“How are things at home? Is Harmony helping out?”