Page 60 of Sexy Dirty Fun

Haveto stay in Madison indefinitely. I think it’s best if we see other people. Please don’t call or text.

I hitsend and turned off my phone. I stumbled to bed to pass out before I could change my mind. I would go back to Madison tomorrow and leave LA behind for good. It had been fun, but it was time to grow up.

29

CANE

Three Years Later

“Why don’t we take a break,” I said into the mic. “Come back in an hour.” I sighed and leaned back in my chair. We’d been in the studio since seven that morning and we were all fried. I ran my hand through my hair and stood up. I needed a burger and a smoke. A beer sounded good too, but I didn’t usually drink when I was in the studio.

As I walked outside, I smiled to myself. Who would have thought three years ago I would have refrained from drinking ever? Life sure was different now.

The night I got the text from Lindsey saying we should see other people was the start of a downward spiral in my life I would love to forget. I received it when I was still in Madison and I’d never felt such pain and sadness or such a sense of loft. On the other hand, I couldn’t blame her; our relationship was nothing but pain and she deserved better than that. She deserved better than me.

I flew back to LA and went straight to Destiny’s place, ready to settle this once and for all. I was tired of her fucking up my life. Our discussion soon turned into an argument and I lost my cool. I never laid a hand on her, but I did pin her to the wall and yell at her. She called the cops and told an elaborate story about what happened and I was taken away in cuffs. The press had a field day with that. The headlines were brutal, claiming I beat the pregnant mother of my baby and worse. I could only imagine how Lindsey felt when she read those headlines.

After some smooth talking by my manager, I got out of jail on bail and eventually Destiny admitted the baby wasn’t mine. I had my lawyer draw up an iron-clad agreement that she would stay out of my life and quit making such crazy accusations.

The making of our album got delayed through the whole mess. The guys did their best to do what they could without me, but we worked best when it was the four of us together. Besides being late, the album pretty much tanked and with my recent drama, our record label dropped us.

I couldn’t believe how far I, the mighty king of rock and roll, had fallen. I lost the girl and then I lost my career. I hit an all-time low.

The band broke up and six months of my life during that time are a little bit hazy. I went on a bender and was pretty much drunk twenty-four seven. Women still flocked to me, but they were even more trashy then the groupies I fucked when Hookers and Hand Grenades was popular. I didn’t care though. If I was drunk enough and not alone, I didn’t think about Lindsey and how much it hurt to live without her.

I was arrested one night for public intoxication and had to call Diesel. I had barely spoken to him since the band decided to part ways, even though he was my best friend. I avoided all of the band members actually. I felt guilty about my fuck ups causing the demise of the band. It was less painful if I avoided them all together.

Diesel came to my rescue right away and bailed me out of jail. He took me back to his place and helped sober me up. We talked for hours and I told him how I felt about the band and him and most of all, Lindsey. He convinced me to go to rehab. I was there six months and came out with a clearer head and the tools to not go hopefully not go down a spiral again.

When I was done, I had to figure out what to do with myself. I had enough money thanks to a good investor, but I knew sitting around would be nothing but trouble for me. I didn’t feel like trying to revive my musical career again and the other guys had moved on.

Diesel had started a small record label and was opening a small recording studio to help unknown bands record albums. When he offered me in at fifty percent, I jumped at the chance. This was the perfect way to continue in music but stay out of the limelight. I had had enough of the press to last me a lifetime.

I also stopped sleeping around. That was almost harder for me to do than to stop drinking. While in rehab, we talked a little bit about my addiction to sex. I wasn’t in the same situations as I was before, so it was easier to stay away from the ladies, but every once in a while, I was recognized and propositioned.

I hadn’t become celibate by any stretch of the imagination, but I tried to actually date women now as opposed to having random hook ups. Diesel had met someone two years ago and gotten married. She was a great woman, but she was always trying to set me up with her friends.

A day didn’t go by where I didn’t think about Lindsey. Every girl I went out with I ended up comparing to her whether I meant to or not. They always fell short, but I had resigned myself to the fact that ship had sailed and the sooner I got over it, the better.

I had no idea what she was doing now. Every month I read Rolling Stone but never saw her name in there. I had heard she left LA but I didn’t know if she was still in Madison or was somewhere else. She was probably married to a normal guy now.

I came back in from having my cigarette to find Diesel and see if he wanted to go to lunch down the street quick. He was sitting in his office, looking at his phone and smiling like an idiot.

“Quit sexting with your wife,” I teased and sat down across from him.

“You’re just jealous,” he replied and put his phone down on his desk.

I didn’t say anything because he was right, I was jealous. Diesel’s relationship with his wife Tracy reminded me of what I thought Lindsey and I could have together. I was happy for my best friend, but sometimes it was hard to be around them and have the constant reminder of what I lost.

“Good session this morning,” I said, changing the subject. Talking about work was always safe.

“It was. I think we should probably have this album done by next week. That’s almost a whole week ahead of schedule. How often does that happen?” He smiled and leaned back in his chair.

“Right. Do you want to get a burger down the street or order in? I’m starving.”

“How about we order in?” He suggested. “The usual?”

“Sure,” I nodded.