Page 72 of Reckless Hands

“Adora insisted you eat,” I tell her, grabbing the tray and placing it over her lap. It’s a simple meal, just a few pieces of bacon, a slice of toast, and an egg. Adora has said she doesn’t eat all that much. I guess that’s what happens when you reach the end of life—what is food to you then?

“Can I ask you something?” She looks down at the food, not bothering to touch it.

“If you eat a piece of bacon, you can ask me whatever.”

“Anything?” I give her a nod, and she lifts the smallest piece and puts it to her lips, taking a bite. I watch as she struggles with just that tiny bit. When she’s done, she reaches for the glass of water, taking a sip before looking back at me. “How many people have you killed?”

“Why? Do you plan to report me to the authorities?” I joke with her. She shakes her head. “Well into the hundreds. Why?”

“Do you feel like your hands are tainted when you touch her?”

“No,” I answer truthfully. “We learn early on to not feel guilt and certainly not to focus on what needs to be done. Would it make you feel better if I said I felt guilty?”

“No, I just want to understand you better, I guess. See what type of man you really are.”

“For what? Your approval? You do realize I don’t need it. She’s my wife.” Her eyes blink a few times, and she looks back down at her food, lifting another piece of bacon to her lips and taking a small bite before she puts it back down. “You do know she’s no angel, correct?”

“I know. But behind her tough exterior is a very caring person. She could have kept fighting this… whatever it is you two have… but she gave in. Are you not glad she did?”

“I am.”

“So what I’m saying is… that I see her differently than you do. We probably love her for similar reasons, though.”

“I don’t love her. It’s too soon.”

“How soon is too soon to love someone?” She raises a brow. “I don’t know the exact number of days I have left, but I know they aren’t many. What do you plan to do to help her when I’m gone?” When I don’t answer, she carries on, “She has a secret, did you know?”

“We all have secrets,” I tell her, even though now I’m eager to know what secret she’s talking about and what Adora is keeping from me.

“She has one that she only just recently shared with me. When I asked her if she had told you, she replied with ‘he isn’t ready to hear that just yet.’” She shrugs, and my eyes narrow as I digest that comment. “Maybe you aren’t, maybe you are, but you have to prove to her you are at least willing to try.”

“I am trying.”

“Are you?” She yawns and lies back in the bed, so I remove the plate and tray. “I see what she sees in you, Joey. I see it.”

I don’t ask her what she means.

Her eyes close, and she falls asleep.

Becca’s phone starts buzzing on the bedside table. I ignore it until it goes off again, so I walk back to wake her, but decide against it. When I glance at the phone’s screen, I see it’s her mother calling, and I answer it.

“Hello.”

“Oh, sorry. Is this Becca’s phone?” An older voice comes through the line.

“It is…” I pause. “She’s sleeping.”

“Okay, well, I was hoping I could visit her, but she no longer lives in her apartment. You wouldn’t happen to know where she might be?” I look down at her sleeping form. If I were dying, I would want to see my mother, so I give her the address, and she tells me she’ll be over in a few hours. Putting the phone back down, I grab the plate and take it to the kitchen before I go upstairs to find Adora. She’s standing at the window, a towel wrapped around her, just staring outside.

“Adora.”

She turns, her back against the windowsill, and drops her towel. Her hands fall to her sides, and her eyes, dark with need, lock on mine. “I need to feel something other than…” I know what she’s asking before I even get to her. I lift her, and her arms wrap around my neck, her legs circling my waist. She looks down at me tenderly, pushing a strand of hair away from my face. “I’m glad we found each other, Joey.”

I kiss her, and she kisses me back with a force so strong that if her back wasn’t already against the window, we may have fallen.

It’s in this moment I know without a doubt that she will consume me, wholly.

THIRTY