Page 45 of Beautiful Rose
“It’s okay. You don’t need to explain. I understand.” I shake my head, and his hand falls from my face.
“What do you understand?” he urges, confusion laced in his eyes.
“That…that it just came out…of your mouth.”
“I didn’t blurt out some random stuff, couch girl. I hadn’t planned on making such a huge declaration, but…”
My heart no longer flutters, but there are raging storms inside me that make me tremble. “I don’t understand. What…are you…saying, Zander?”
“I like you, Marr. I thought I made that clear with my insistent calls and copious texts.” I feel his gentle hand on my wrist as he pulls on my butterfly charm bracelet with his index finger. It’s just a whisper of a touch.
My breathing stops. “B-but you don’t know me.”
“I know you enough to know I like you.”
“Zander—”
“I know we missed some big steps in between. It’d have been better if we had gone on some dates and I’d dazzled you a bit more.”
Did he just say dazzle me more? Doesn’t he know he’s already swept me off my feet?
“Why are you doing this?” My muscles twitch as something between excitement and nervousness fills my heart.
“Because I mean what I said inside.” He tugs on his tie.
His hesitation is palpable, and his fingers on the cherry knot around his neck feel like they are saying much more to my crazy brain.
“I like you, Marr. Very much.” He pauses once more.
His words and nervousness befuddle me. He looks equally confused as me, but his speech somehow doesn’t falter as mine does.
“And though I didn’t plan to say it this way, and definitely not in a room full of a hundred people, I really want to see where this can lead us.” He waves his hands between us. “I have never felt like this before. I’m still not sure what this is, but I don’t want to stop or go back to being just friends.” Zander rakes his hand through his perfect hair and looks at me with wild eyes before his gaze softens. “But I also can’t demand feelings, so I would like to know—what do you want?”
My pulse goes into rapid beats. “Why would you…even want me?” I whisper.
His eyes widen in surprise. “Why would I not? You are smart, intelligent, funny in your own way. You are so different from others. With you, I never pretend. Being with you is like being in a bubble of happiness, and I want to stay in that bubble. I—”
“Stop. Please. Stop.” I jerk away, causing his finger to slip from my bracelet. Taking a step back from him and his affection, I stumble and fall on the ground outside the hall.
Incessant tears run down my face. There is only so much I can take. Things that are offered to me today will be robbed from me in the blink of an eye, and it’ll be no one’s fault. Just my poor luck, as always.
“Marr! Are you okay?” Zander crouches next to me but keeps his hands to himself.
After hearing his words, after hearing how he feels about me, I just want to embrace his affection, be in that bubble with him.
“Are you hurt?” He’s close enough for me to feel his heat but he’s not touching me. The night sky is dark, but there’s enough light from inside the hall that I can make out his face and expression. “Can I help you up?” There is so much sincerity in his voice.
He knows me. He understands me. With him, I don’t feel like I’m different. I can say all my insecurities to Zander without being judged. Can I give this a chance?
“Yes,” I mutter.
He holds my hand, his touch sending jolts of electricity throughout my body. Our fingers intertwine like before. I look at our connected hands and then at him. He gives me a smile and then pulls me up.
“Yes,” I whisper again.
“Sorry?”
“Yes, I want it.” There’s momentary confusion in his eyes before his lips curl into a smile. My eyes rivet to his dimpled cheek. “But there is something you need to know.”