Page 5 of My Forbidden Boss
I rolled my eyes as I heard him chuckle. That was the only drawback that I had discovered over the years, having a couple like them as my parents. I refocused on the words continuing to echo through the phone at my ear.
“Of course, we hate to see you moving away,” Dad admitted
“That’s true! I won’t have to move all of your makeup and perfume off the bathroom sink when I need to get ready in the morning,” said Mom.
I couldn’t help laughing with them. It was such a familiar, warm sound, the constant casual banter and laughter. I didn’t consciously consider it at the time, but a pang of doubt was aching and gnawing through my heart as I again remembered that I had just left all of that behind.
An impatient knocking echoed through the little ranch house, reverberating into my other ear, bringing my attention back to my new home in South Dakota, leaving Chicago and all of Illinois to linger alone on the phone line. I leaned through the living room doorway and glanced toward the freshly-painted side door along the opposite wall.
I pulled the phone back to my cheek and cut off both of my parents before their giggles and chuckles could segue us into another conversation. “Ugh, you two are the worst. You better watch out. I will remember this when it comes time to stick you both in a retirement home… or an insane asylum. I haven’t decided which yet. Hey, Brandon is here, so I have to go.”
Their voices erupted. “Brandon? I’m so glad that you are already making friends, Tisha. That is always a parent’s biggest worry when a child is stepping out on their own,” said my dad.
“I suppose it helps that we trained you for the world so well. I think that we only have ourselves to thank. Parents, one; the world, zero.”
“Thank? You mean congratulate, Sal!”
“Thank, congratulate… whatever, Rich. The point is, I am just grateful that we have such a stellar little girl who is once again making us proud. She’s taking the world on all on her lonesome, but finding some good people along the way to share in the experience.”
“Oh, listen to you… are you going to write that down? I’m serious! That was the most poetic, heartfelt way that I have ever heard someone unapologetically pat herself on the back. Honestly, Sally, Tish is right… You really are the worst.”
“Hey! She said that to both of us. Don’t even pretend that she meant it more for me than for you. Oh, laugh, sure, but I’m on to you, Richard.”
I smiled and waved across the kitchen, beckoning as my new neighbor peered in through the door’s half window. He covered his brow against the panes to shroud his eyes against the sun’s glare.
Simultaneously, I interceded on the argument brewing between the couple on the other end of the call. “How do you even begin to imagine these things? How does me having a gay friend out here have anything to do with how well you raised me?”
The sound of feigned shock poured from the phone. I jumped in, taking their praise in stride as they pretended that I had proposed something so obvious that it couldn’t possibly be called outlandish.
“Oh, come on. Him being gay has nothing to do with it. Either way, I have to say that I don’t mind in the least. It’s only been a few days, but I can already tell that we are going to be the best of friends.”
Brandon entered quietly, seeing me busy on the phone, but grinned as I smiled warmly in greeting. He heard his name exchanged in the discussion and closed the door behind him. He spoke loudly, aiming a tone of confidence my way so that those listening on the other end of the phone could clearly comprehend: “If only she’d brought some of those men with her! She should have rescued them away from the wind and the rain of your big city on the water. I’m happy she’s here, but I would be lying if I said that I wouldn’t trade her for a dozen of the opposite sex. I don’t care what their preferences are. I’m always up for a challenge.”
My parents heard him and erupted in my ear with laughter. I winced at the sheer volume of the sound but smiled while holding the speaker of babbling static away from my own head and toward Brandon’s for him to hear. He beamed at the attention, practically preening. I giggled, thinking that he looked like a peacock, happy to parade his plumage for anyone willing to watch. It was magnificent to witness, let alone partially be to blame for. Soon he responded to them, leaning his lips toward the phone and impressing me with how well he was able to decipher their commotion.
“Yes, times are tough for us queens, kings, and princes of the great white north. Most of the boys here in Tyler grew up on farms, fantasizing about goats instead of figuring out how to properly finagle their way around the feminine form. And forget exploring the nuances and perplexities surrounding their repressed issues with their dear daddies. But fear not, I came here for my career, just like your beautiful young daughter … but I have made it my mission to properly educate these young men – at least, all those that are willing.”
He grinned at me, and I just knew he was about to take his crowing to another level, polishing a pedestal for himself that would only grow taller as he further embellished his excessive exhibition of self-exultation.
“You see, I have come to take my representation of the gay community quite seriously here. The stigma is still strong away from the coasts and big city living, but I’m going to keep sticking up for us. You could call me a pioneer, an explorer… a bannerman, perhaps.”
I rolled my eyes and shifted my weight, propping up my arm with the other as if to show Brandon that he was weighing down the phone in my hand.
“Yes, I am proud to bear the burden of such a responsibility… slowly working my way toward showing these boys what they’ve been missing.” He continued, “More importantly, I’m just glad to have met your gorgeous daughter. Did she tell you that, technically, she’s going to be my boss? Yes, well, we’ll see about that. I’m already probing her for weakness and planning a coup, but, either way, I can already tell that we are going to be just the dearest of friends.”
I smiled warmly as I watched Brandon speak, wrinkling my nose at the mention of work starting soon. “I’m not ready to think about that yet. I still have a week left to unpack and get settled. My legs are absolutely killing me from all the walking back and forth! And my arms!”
Brandon broke in with a gleam in his eye. “I can’t say that I can complain much. When I offered to help Tisha here with all of the boxes, I might have failed to mention to her that I only intended to check those filled with her clothes, shoes, and such. You should have seen her face when she asked me if I was going to help her with the new appliances being delivered. I said, ‘Please! Don’t they have some burly farmhands to come do all of that lifting? At least then we would have something fun to watch!’ Anyway, I’ve been totally unavailable, absolutely booked ever since I took it upon myself to set up and organize Tisha’s closet. It’s terrible, troubling work, full of obstacles to overcome, tragedies to put right, and many, many misadventures, but I am definitely looking forward to the massages that we will be rewarding ourselves with when we are all done moving her in.”
I could not help smiling as howls of laughter flooded from my parents through the phone. I chided Brandon with my eyes as he grinned and glanced my way, both of us knowing full well that he had been helping me way more than what he had said.
Finally, the voices from the phone ironed themselves out, returning to intelligible turns. “Good for you, Brandon. Tish can use all of the help she can get… especially where her wardrobe is concerned,” my mom told him.
“Yes, Sally is absolutely right. Don’t forget to treat yourselves to manicures and pedicures while you are at it. In fact, we would be happy to make the reservations if you will kindly give us the name of your preferred spa or salon. That way, we can give you a sufficient thank you for taking in Tish and helping her out so selflessly. Tisha? You can pay your own way since you were the one who abandoned your poor mother and me.”
Brandon could barely contain his amusement and was forced to cover his mouth with one hand as my jaw dropped in response to my dad’s offer.
I never got the chance to stick up for myself as I heard my mom promise to make me bring Brandon to meet them whenever I decided to grace them with my presence again. Before I could jump in, Brandon’s hand wrapped around mine and pulled the phone back toward his face, tilting it away from my own.