Page 42 of Forbidden Cowboy

I agreed. Now really wasn’t the time for an unplanned pregnancy. I pulled my shirt back on, stuffing my bra into my bag, and as soon as I was buckled in, Wyatt was driving down the road.

The walk of shame with Wyatt hit differently—not that I had anything from my past to compare it to. The woman behind the register at the pharmacy gave us both a once-over, and we paid and left.

With a bottle of water Wyatt picked up, I took the first pill, and set a timer on my phone for 12 hours later to remind me to take the other pill.

“Take me home,” I said to Wyatt, suddenly exhausted by the whole ordeal.

“Of course,” he said, and started the truck.

* * *

I lay in bed that night, thinking,would it have been so bad to have a child with Wyatt?

I wasn’t going to go behind his back and do anything rash like avoid taking the second pill, and I certainly wasn’t going to seduce him for the purpose of having a baby, but after our brief conversation about how bad the timing would be, I suddenly found myself craving exactly what I couldn’t have. A baby with his brunet curls and dark eyes. A baby with my freckles and his tan skin. A baby with the same dimple in their chin that he had. With my love for ball sports and his compassion for animals. A baby.

It had to be the stress of everything weighing on me, because before I knew it, there were tears leaking from my eyes, and I just stared at the ceiling, letting them flow from my eyes.

Wyatt didn’t want a baby, though, and with Eliana around, I knew it would be next to impossible to raise a happy child in such a toxic environment. I closed my eyes, dreaming of a world where I could be in love and have it returned. Where I could have a child with the man I loved.

I must have fallen asleep, because when I next opened my eyes, there were flailing limbs beside me in bed, and a crying girl next to me.

Anna was having a nightmare. She must have snuck into my bed sometime in the night, without me noticing. I gathered Anna into my arms, and tried to make soothing rocking motions as I held her.

“Anna,Anna,” I said with gentle urgency, and slowly, the flailing stopped and her blue eyes fluttered open.

I turned on my bedside light, and the whole room was bathed in a soft golden glow.

“Sierra?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “You were having a nightmare.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you want to talk about it, or do you want to go sit by the window?”

“Window,” she said, and I stroked her hair before removing my arms from her.

I walked over to the window seat with her and a blanket in tow, and climbed up first. Anna followed after me, sitting facing me with her legs around my waist and her arms hugging me tightly. She was like a little koala bear. I covered us both with the blanket and hugged her back. I stroked her back over her pink nightgown covered in hearts, and I could tell the exact moment she fell asleep, staring at the outside world. I couldn’t reach to turn the light off, so I just stayed where I was, humming random notes under my breath and thinking about the fact that maybe I couldn’t have a baby, but I wasn’t far off from loving Anna as my own.

* * *

“Anna!” A woman shrieked. “Where are you?!”

I heard the noise, and wanted to bat it away like some pesky bug, but couldn’t. The shrill voice came again, followed by a deeper one.

“She’s probably in Sierra’s room,” the deeper voice said, and begrudgingly, I began to contemplate opening my eyes.

I was so pleasantly warm, though, and there was a heavy weight wrapped around my torso that just felt so right.

Then my door banged open and all my drifting illusions of dozing off vanished into thin air. I was in my window seat with Anna like I had been many times before, and there was a furious Eliana standing in the doorway.

“What kind of—” she spluttered. “This is—this is unacceptable! You are the girl’snanny! Don’t you have any shame?! Coming in here and acting like her mother, playing house with my ex-husband, all while he’spayingyou!”

“Eliana,” Wyatt interjected roughly. “That’s enough.”

I was immediately on high alert, bristling under this woman’s accusations. As Anna woke up just as suddenly as I had, and looked at me with confused and disoriented eyes, I felt bad for her.

“What can I help you with,” I said through gritted teeth.