Page 44 of Forbidden Cowboy
“It’s, uh, it’s still pretty early,” he said. “Only just after six, if you wanted to sleep a little bit more. And you’ve got the day off since Eliana wanted to spend time with Anna.”
“Okay,” I said, and looked down.
I was wearing sleep shorts and a crop top, and I hadn’t realized quite how much skin I was showing.
“Sorry,” I added, blushing.
I pulled the blanket over myself, covering everything including my now peaked nipples that were showing through my shirt.
“Uhh, don’t be,” Wyatt said, and then he was out the door. I heard his footsteps descending the stairs to say goodbye to Eliana and Anna.
I really hoped their day out would be good—I was caught between wanting to wrap Anna in cotton wool and protect her from any more hurt and knowing that if Eliana was truly trying to build a better relationship and future for herself and her daughter, then I couldn’t get in the way of that.
You’re also only the nanny, and have no say on what her parents decide, a small voice reminded me,it’s not so impressive having ownership of a bedroom when there’s a little girl standing up for herself against her grown mother, is it?
I shoved that voice away—it would only lead to insecurity on my behalf, and I didn’t have time for that.
I did indeed climb back into my own bed, rolling all of my joints and working out the kinks from sleeping sitting up with a child on me. I covered myself with the blanket, and closed my eyes, drifting back into sleep.
Chapter Fourteen
Wyatt
Eliana was making a concerted effort, and it didn’t go unnoticed.
She was really trying with Anna, and I slowly saw my daughter become more comfortable with her. I did see the way her eyes searched for Sierra or me in every room, though, just in case something were to happen with her mother, and I knew we had a long way to go.
Eliana had managed to gain control over her temper when in Anna’s presence, and that helped relax me somewhat, as did the reports from my daughter that when they were out together, she seemed vain and self-centered, but never did anything to suggest she might lose control or leave her daughter somewhere for something unwarranted.
Even though it had been more than a month since her return, longer than any stay since I won full custody, I was still waiting for the day that she wouldn’t show up for dinner, or text me early in the morning to get Anna ready for a day out.
I thought part of it had to do with Sierra. Maybe seeing Anna be close with her had sparked something in Eliana. If it was the motherly instinct she needed or jealousy, I didn’t know, but I wasn’t questioning it. She was rebuilding trust with Anna, and that’s what mattered.
The first day Anna didn’t braid her hair when they went out, I genuinely smiled while waving them off.
The problem with having Eliana become a more responsible and caring person was that she often left Sierra and me alone in the house for long periods of time, and Sierra spent her evenings at the hospital, which left her days wide open.
Being around her had a distracting effect on me, and I couldn’t help but picture different things every time I was near her. The most recent and recurring thought was once again the image where she was pregnant. The idea of her having a child that tied us together, of her and our child and Anna and me all being a family was a daydream that Greg had to pull me out of more than once.
I hadn’t helped clean up the barn since before I was an adult and realized I could hire people to do the jobs I hated, but now I found myself using any excuse to stay out of the house all day. I left the paperwork and administrative tasks to accountants and secretaries, and got back to the root of my work.
Manual labor.
I stayed up to my knees in cow crap, and then horse crap in the stables when we were done. One day, I took one of the horses, Melisandre, on a ride across the mountains, and spent several hours just out in nature.
I hadn’t realized how gentle Melisandre was as a horse, and wondered if Anna had ever ridden her. I knew she would go out with Sierra sometimes, and I hoped they had a good time.
Stop thinking about Sierra.
As had been made abundantly clear by her outburst at Eliana, she was my employee, with contractual obligations and everything. Abusing that trust was just wrong of me, and I had let it go on for too long. I had probably deluded myself into seeing the look in her eyes. I was distracted all the time, and soon my work would suffer if I didn’t get my head on straight.
I needed something more permanent, a better distraction. I stopped Melisandre along the edge of a brook that I had played in as a child when I wanted to get away from my parents and sat at the edge. I took off my boots, and let the water cool my feet. Melisandre wandered, but not far, snuffling up the greenest grass she could find.
It was the beginning of September, and the air was beginning to cool off. I leaned back on my hands, and took in the rays of sunshine spreading across the valley. Out here, all of my problems seemed very miniscule. Until my phone rang and I saw the caller ID.
“Anna? What’s wrong?”
I was already on my feet again, and clicking my tongue for Melisandre to sidle up to me. She came obediently, and I grabbed my boots before swinging up into the saddle and placing my shoes in front of me.