Page 54 of Forbidden Cowboy
I froze.
“What?”
“Well, you’re pregnant, right?” Erin asked, this time with some uncertainty in her voice.
“No,” I said. “I can’t be.”
A look passed between Nadia, Erin, and the rest of the team, including Faith. Then the two girls broke away, and caught me by my elbows, steering me out of the gym and towards the locker rooms.
“What are you doing?!” I asked, but they just dragged me through the first door, and then the second one.
Erin turned me to face her while Nadia looked around, apparently to check if anyone was there.
“You’re joking, right?”
“What the hell would I be joking about?”
“Look.”
Erin turned me so I was looking at myself sideways in one of the full-length mirrors on the wall, and I finally saw what she did.
There, clear as day, was a prominent bump. It really wasn’t small, and I wondered how my blind self had missed something so obvious.
That was all the time I had to think before my heart sped up and I felt my brain shutting down.
I couldn’t be pregnant, Icouldn’t.
What followed next was a flurry of voices asking me if I was okay while I disassociated, and then, suddenly, I was holding Nadia’s hand while we sat in a Planned Parenthood waiting room.
“Sierra?” Someone called.
Nadia was guiding me up by my hand, her eyes searching mine.
“Do you want me to stay out here?” She asked.
“No,” I croaked. “Please, no.”
I didn’t know if I was asking her to come with me, or denying the whole situation.
* * *
The ultrasound technician was incredibly kind, but it was obvious that she had dealt with women like me hundreds of times before.
She gave me a sympathetic smile, and professionally straddled the line between being happy for me and also being aware thatImight not be happy for me.
“Oh,” was all she said at first.
“What?” I asked, my eyes snapping to the grainy image on the screen, “what is it?”
“There’s—you’re definitely pregnant,” she said slowly. “Excuse me, I just have to get one of our doctors.”
She left, and Nadia held my hand still. I felt ridiculous, lying on the table, blue gel covering the bump I had been in clear denial about until that very morning.
“I’m pregnant,” I said, trying to wrap my head around it.
“Yeah,” she said, “you really didn’t know?”
“No.”