Page 3 of Finding Fate
Deep down, though, this version of Maddox was screaming at me in my head. Yeah, I missed sex with a guy, but not enough to hurt him or piss him off later over. Boys will be boys. Regardless of how much we hate it, they will always find someone to have sex with if we’re not in the picture, but girls have a skill that many of them don’t exercise, and that’s self-control.
His jealousy over me and guys teeters on the line of normal and out of control, but God knows I like it. He went ballistic over a guy from school texting me once, asking me to hang out.
I raise my head and nibble on his bottom lip. “Gab . . .” he warns, wanting my answer.
I wrap my arms around his half-sleeves of tattoos on his upper arms, gripping his strong biceps. I lick along his jawline, listening to his ragged breathing, until my lips are at his ear. “A handful. Specifically, one a year for the last five. No penetration—not even fingers—anywhere. If I could get away with jerking versus sucking, I did. That depended on the guy and the situation. I’m not going to pretend I was innocent. You weren’t. But it was more fun fucking Maddox Jr. guilt free than the betrayal I felt in my heart over giving someone else something I only wanted you to have. Hooking up may not have been cheating on you, but to me, it felt like it. I never wanted you to leave. I never wanted to break up. I never wanted anyone else.”
“Gabby . . .” he whispers, his voice breaking my heart. His emotions flip like a switch. I’ve always wondered what it was like in his head for it to be instant, with little to no transition. I lay my head back on the bed to look at him. His eyes are glossy. “I’m sorry about the girls. It doesn’t mean I loved you less. It just made it easier to deal with you gone. Fuck. Maybe it would have made this less painful had you actually let another guy fuck you.”
I smirk at him, taking control over the mood. What decisions we made when we were apart really don’t matter. That’s not on us. It’s on the person that made this happen. I can be mad about what girls got a piece of something that’s mine or I can be thankful he’s back. I choose the latter. “Oh, I let another guy fuck me many times. Paid damn good hard-earned money for it too. Maddox Jr. was almost as good as the original.”
I relish in the fact that he’s getting hard. He smiles like a kid that got candy before supper. “You named your dildo after me?”
“Yes. That way, when I screamed out his name, what was in my head felt more real.”
His smile doesn’t falter in the least. “I don’t know if I should be offended or not that your dildo could fuck you almost as good as me. That doesn’t sound like a compliment.”
And I take pleasure in knowing how to make him happy with something as simple as the truth. “You’re looking at it all wrong. It took me hours online trying to find one that looked exactly like yours, and it simply means you left behind a strong enough memory that all I had to do was fuck a dildo the same size and shape as yours to make it come alive. When your memory can make me come, baby, that’s some damn good sex.”
He’s breathing heavier than he has all night. “I’m so fucking hard right now imaging that.”
“You could imagine it . . . Or I could just show you. Bet you missed me on top, didn’t you?”
He scrambles to the head of the bed so I can climb on top of him, making me smile. I straddle him and grab his dick, sinking down on him the second he places his hand on my hip, his eyes glued to mine. He groans out when I start to rock, already groping my breast. “Shit, baby, a little age looks good on you.”
I push him back, already getting faster. “Yeah, you like what you see? A curvier ass and bigger tits?”
“Fuck, that mouth. I’ve missed it. I love you.” His face tenses, making my heart race, because I know that look, and he knows I’m catching on by the smile I’m wearing. “Okay, slow down a little. I gotta get a few more nuts out before I can last. I’ve wanted this too long.”
Not a chance, baby. I plan to milk you dry.
My older cousin Ariel, who was a give-it-to-you-straight kind of girl, has always been like a sister to me—at least before she moved out to Las Vegas. Had I not been so hellbent on staying in case Maddox showed up I would have gone with her.
Anyway, I went to her right after me and Maddox had sex for the first time, a little unsure of how to feel since I had just given my virginity to a guy I’d only known a few hours, at the ripe age of thirteen. My emotions were everywhere and I was crushing on him hard—which is what led to me giving it away so easily in the first place. I was afraid he wouldn’t talk to me anymore. He sucked me in from the first line he ever said to me. After getting all of the safe sex shit out of the way like the responsible college student she was, she told me a little gem I’ve used ever since—fuck your man like you’re trying to be his best and he won’t go looking for it in someone else.
Long story short and much to my relief—he texted within twenty-four hours. It didn’t take long before I snuck out to meet up with him, and the nightly meetup turned hookups turned into day hangouts. We were in love within a month and inseparable by the end of the summer. It may have been her advice or it may have just been fate, but either way, after a six-year separation and girls in between, I’m still the one he wants, and I plan to make up for a lot of lost time. I’m about to remind him why those girls don’t have shit on me.
Two
Gabby
My eyes flutter open to a dark room and a body wrapped around mine. Maddox is so tangled around me I can’t tell where half my limbs are. It’s like he’s trying to make sure I don’t go anywhere. If it wasn’t so cold in here, I’d likely be sweating from the body heat. There is a soft dick pressed against my ass and a hand holding onto my boob like a stress toy. Warm air fans my neck every time he breathes, and his wide chest expands against my back in a hypnotic rhythm.
I feel the heaviness of my muscles with every movement, confirming I’m going to be sore for a few days. Well worth it. I have no idea what time it is, but somewhere during our reunion sex marathon I think we literally just passed out. I know he said they’re leaving tomorrow, or today, depending on the time. I feel wide awake, rejuvenated even, regardless of the fact that I just woke up, and that probably has something to do with the adrenaline over us finally getting our second chance.
I just want to get there and start our lives together. I’ll start looking for a job the second I’m in Florida territory. The one perk to not buying expensive shit is that I’ve saved a nest egg. I’ll call my boss and explain before I cross the state line. I need to pack my shit and load up my car. I want to be ready the second he wakes up. It’s time to ditch this place. The bad memories outweigh the good.
The secret to not waking Maddox is slow and steady. Sudden movement wakes him up, or at least it used to. I pull my legs from between his slowly, careful not to startle him, and once they’re free, I slide my bottom half off the bed and stop. He doesn’t move. I relax a little. I don’t want to wake him up. He needs the sleep, because when I told him I want to drive so I can take my car, despite his offer to pay to ship it all, he decided to make the trip with me and drive instead of flying with everyone else, which means we need to leave much earlier.
I grab the back of his hand and carefully lift it off my body, before resting it on the mattress where I was laying as I get out of bed. I freeze when he starts moving, but instead of opening his eyes, he mumbles, “I love you, Gabby,” and rolls onto his stomach, before settling back into a deep sleep.
My heart swells. “I love you too,” I whisper. “More than you’ll ever understand.” I’ve got to hurry. I want to come back and get in bed with him for a little while. I haven’t gotten morning snuggles with him in forever, and the few times I did required me lying about where I was to stay with him overnight when his parents were at their camp on the river. I pull my blue jean shorts on, bypassing panties since I can’t see them and they aren’t appearing with a sweep of my hand. I put my bra on as I tiptoe to the door, my shirt after it.
Since he never shut it, I don’t have to worry about it making noise. Within minutes I’m pulling the front door to, locking it before easing it completely shut, and then hurriedly jog to my car. There is a crisp feeling in the air, and even though it’s still hot in the south, it’s a feeling that confirms it’s fall. I try to be quiet shutting my car door, wasting no time before starting it up and backing out of his driveway.
After a twenty-minute drive across town, away from the better subdivisions and nicer houses, I pull into the short driveway of the small three-bedroom rental house I share with Autumn. She went to New Orleans for the weekend; some festival, which means lots of alcohol and partying. I think they got a room with a balcony on Bourbon Street.
The security light comes on as I walk within range of the sensor, giving me enough light to shuffle through the few keys on my key ring to find the house key before shoving it into the hole and unlocking it. Turning on every light on the way to my room, I walk inside and grab the first suitcase I find. I barely have it unzipped and open on my bed before grabbing shit left and right and throwing it inside.