Page 63 of Finding Fate
“If you could go back and change anything, would you?”
An age-old question. I shrug. “To change one thing would alter everything. If keeping him meant Maddox would go to jail, no. Trading one bad outcome for another is still a bad outcome. I’ll never wish I could change his existence. Like you and Sayler, we created him accidentally, but it was still in love, and Maddox will always come first, but I believe that’s the way God intended it to be—God, our partner, our kids. People may not understand that mentality, but it doesn’t mean I didn’t care about our child. I love my son. Always will. The pain will never completely heal. Even though he was basically ripped out of my arms, I knew from the beginning I couldn’t keep him if I carried him to term, and I loved him enough to give him a better life than having a fifteen-year-old mother. It’s hard to make myself believe it sometimes, but I stood up to my dad enough to give him life. Though difficult, I can live with the rest.”
His eyes squint just a little. “You really love him, don’t you?”
He’s talking about Maddox. I smile. “Did you doubt me?”
He’s still setting up like he could do it with his eyes closed. “I doubt everyone until they prove otherwise, but seeing how messed up he was over you, it was hard not to wonder how you were sleeping at night.”
“Socially we’re from two different worlds. To people like my dad we would never work. Raised too different. Expectations too far apart. I’m my dad’s Greek princess. He’s a middle-class country boy that didn’t go to college. Works hard. Plays harder. Loves to get dirty. Is the life of a party. Likes his rock and country as much as his redneck rap. Spits on the ground when he needs to clear his throat or his mouth is dry. Drinks beer over anything else regardless of the calories. Feels guilt over sin much deeper than most. Would only wear a suit to a wedding or funeral. But he’s mine. That’s never going to change. Hot as blazing fire. He’s smart, and funny. He looks good in work clothes or ready to go out. He loves me. Never overlooks me for someone else. Likes my jealousy as much as I like his. We’re an explosive couple. Just the way it is. We’re miserable apart. I fell in love with him when I was just thirteen. I’ll kill a bitch over him. Do anything to protect him. I’ll disown my father to marry him. So yeah, I really love him.” And without another word, I walk through the door marked with a restroom sign and shut it.
It doesn’t take me long to find the test before it’s in the stream of pee. I cap it just as my phone vibrates on the sink from where I put it when I took it out of my back pocket. I place the stick down flat and smile, already picking it up.
Maddox:If you’re still getting it on your shoulder, you better not be wearing low riders.
I respond quickly.
Me:They make my ass look great.
Maddox:My fucking point!
Me:Sorry! Granny-rise jeans were all dirty.
I laugh, unable to help it. He probably has steam coming out of his ears thinking about me hunched over with my ass crack showing while another guy is right behind me.
Maddox:You’re going to get it when I get there. Konnor is going to drop me off.
“Are we tattooing or what?” Riggan asks. I type my response so he doesn’t start blowing up my phone.
Me:Time to tattoo. See you soon. Love you.
I pocket my phone and look down at the stick, before grabbing it off the sink and opening the door, walking out. Riggan is waiting on me with the transfer in his hand. He looks at me. “Why do you look like you’re going to be sick.”
“Can you cut something out of my arm?”
“Uh, my job tools consist of needles not knives. Why?”
“Because this stick says I’m pregnant and this thing in my arm is supposed to be birth control.”
Before he can even develop an expression his eyes veer to the door. Mine follow, landing on a frozen Maddox standing in the doorway, which means he was already here when he was texting me. Fuck!
Thirty-Seven
Gabby
For fuck’s sake, I should be used to that phrase by now. My god, I’ve heard it twice already this year, both within the last six months, but as I stand here in the doorway, unable to move, clearly it’s still a shock when it involves you and not your friends. It feels like summer all over again, when Riggan found out blondie was pregnant and I was by his side, only in reverse.
At least we did make it out of high school this time.This time.Jesus. We haven’t even really dealt with the other situation yet. I just got her back. I’ve been busy trying to work out an ‘us’ first before jumping waist deep in shit I know nothing about in case it comes to legal advisement. If I’m not careful I could end up drowning.
Should I really be surprised, though? This is Gabby we’re talking about. My sperm loves her eggs apparently, considering we just started back fucking last month. First time I come in her—pregnant. If it’s showing up on a piss stick it has to at least be a couple of weeks, which means within the first few after we started back having sex of me coming in her—pregnant. It’s like they’re in a race the second I let them out of the gate. Who would honestly believe this shit?
My eyes drop from hers to the plastic stick in her hand. She quickly hides it behind her back. My steel toe boots start to move forward, my hand already out for it as I close the distance between us. “Let me see it.”
“I swear to God I thought I was on birth control or I would have made you pull out.” Her thoughts are working overtime, like she’s processing exactly how that sounds. I can see it all over her face. “I am on birth control. I don’t know how this happened. I would never have been this reckless after—”
“Gabby!” I snap, my patience wearing thin. It never was my strong suit. “We both know I wouldn’t have pulled out. That ship sailed when you were fourteen. I want to see it.”
Her shoulders drop as she brings it between us. “You mad at me?”