Page 12 of Fear the Fall
She shakes her pointer finger back and forth. “That’s not what I said. I said I couldn’t see your light, and that something evil possesses your soul.”
I gulp at the reminder of that less-than-pleasant description. “What does it mean?”
She smacks her lips together. “I think you know very well what it means.”
“That because I fell, I’m evil?” I ask, not sure at all.
She frowns. “You can delude yourself as much as you want, but you and I both know that’s not the reason evil surrounds you. It’s why you fell, Victoria.”
My spine straightens and I glare down at the woman. “It’s obvious you know a great deal about me, but that’s not why I came to find you.”
“And now we get to the point,” she says. “Go on.”
“How do I get back?” I grate through my teeth, trying and failing to be patient with the woman. I feel like she’s toying with me. Her arms cross over her chest in what looks like defiance. I take a deep breath and force myself to ask again. Calmly this time. “How do I get back to Heaven?”
She uncrosses her arms and leans in even closer. “You don’t.”
I blink. All the while, my eyes never waver from the woman. Searching her face, I find no signs of deceitfulness. She believes what she says.
I huff. “Y-you’re wrong. There’s always a way. Your sight is broken.”
“It’s not. I see it all clearly, Victoria. Your future is here.”
I stagger backward. The world tilts and the sensation of falling sweeps over me. I shake my head, trying to clear out the fog that’s settled over me. A pair of surprisingly strong hands grab my shoulders to help stop my swaying.
“Victoria, listen,” Almada commands. “There is no way back to Heaven for you. It’s not meant to be. When you fell, God made other plans. Heaven hasn’t just closed the gates behind you; they’ve been slammed shut, and all of the repenting you do will never be enough.”
My head shakes back and forth violently. This woman can’t be right. She has to have her information wrong. God is gracious. God knows what’s in my heart. He’d never turn his back on me. Never.
“You’re wrong,” I spit. Anger claws its way up my spine, and I allow it to burn.
“Know when the fight is over, child, because your time in Heaven has ended. There is much for you to do here.”
“Here? Why would I stay here and help a bunch of pathetic humans who sin daily for no other reason but to satisfy their own selfish desires? I won’t.”
She takes two giant steps back, putting distance between us. “You can run from your destiny, but it will always find you. There is no way out, Victoria. God won’t allow it.”
“God can’t stop me,” I yell. “If he won’t let me in, then I’ll end this miserable life and go on to wherever I’m damned to go.”
“Go home,” she orders. “Death won’t find you.”
“Everyone can die.” The words are whispered as the fight drains out of me.
“Only if God wills it.” She begins walking, leaving me alone on the sidewalk and taking the little hope I had left with her.