Page 14 of Fear the Fall
My fingers fly to my head, massaging at my temples. A headache is fast approaching.
“Either you want me around or you don’t. I won’t play the part of your punching bag.”
My eyes fly to his. Something akin to panic rises in my belly at the thought of Zeke giving up on me. Despite my actions, he’s brought me a sense of security. He’s the only other angel I’ve come across on Earth. He understands me in ways that nobody else ever could, and that’s not something I want to live forever without. I reach out to stop Zeke from retreating again.
“Please don’t give up on me, Zeke. I-I can’t live alone here. I can’t be alone.”
The tears cascade down my cheeks as the finality of Almada’s words settle over me. Zeke’s heated expression falls from his face as his arm shoots out, pulling me in to him.
“I don’t wanna be alone, Ezekiel. Please don’t leave me. Don’t stop trying.” I can hardly contain the anguish that spills with every word spoken. The mounting fear of being deserted by Heaven and left to this rotting planet tears at my soul.
“I won’t ever stop. I can’t,” Zeke coos into my hair. “Don’t you see that? I care too much, Tori.”
“They’ve cast me out for good. I’m stuck here.” I cry harder. Every time I consider my new reality, the pain is more intense. Shouldn’t the agony ease? Can God not see fit to bestow some kindness on me?
“You were right all along,” I say, peering up into Zeke’s concerned eyes. “I’m never getting back in.”
He swallows hard, lips forming a perfect line. “How do you know this?”
“The woman from the square. I found her.”
He shakes his head. “She’s a crazy heretic, Tori. Surely you can’t believe her.”
“Yet I do.” My eyelids flutter as I try to remain upright. The lack of energy, coupled with the life-altering news, has taken a toll on my body. I need to power up, but I doubt I could even conjure a slight wind in this shape.
“Whoa. Let’s get you home and in bed,” Zeke says, lifting me once more into his arms.
Typically, I’d rebel against being carried through the streets of New Orleans like some damsel in distress, but I don’t have the energy to fight it.
I don’t know how we get back to my loft. Shortly after being hoisted up by Zeke, I dozed off, the last of my vitality zapped from me. When I come to, it’s pitch black, save for the thin stream of light floating in through the window. Zeke’s heavy breathing is the only sign I’m not alone.
I roll toward Zeke, whose breathing has slowed. The light from the moon illuminates one half of his face, and I can’t help but inhale sharply at just how perfect he is. Humans carve stone images in the likeness of men far inferior to this angel. And here I am, curled up next to him. I’ve been such a fool, treating him like a nuisance.
“You’re awake.” Zeke’s groggy voice filters through the room.
“I am.”
He stretches, yawning all the while.
“I’m sorry if I woke you. Go back to sleep.” My hand reaches out, moving a stray piece of dark hair out of his eyes.
“You can’t sleep?” he asks, eyes fluttering.
I shake my head.
Zeke’s hand cups my cheek and I lean into it. “What happened today, Tori?”
I sigh, not sure that I want to get into it, but knowing it’s a conversation we’re going to have sooner or later. Might as well rip off the Band-Aid.
“She said that God made other plans for me when I fell. Heaven’s gates are slammed shut to me.” My shoulders lift. “That’s basically it.”
“You’ve always believed there’s a way. Why now? Why believe a stranger?”
That’s the question I don’t have an answer to. For whatever reason, I felt the finality in her words. My soul felt the truth in them. How do I explain that to Zeke? He’s tried to tell me the same for two years, and I’ve never once listened.
“If you want back, fight for it, Tori. Everyone is capable of atonement.” His eyes bore into mine, willing me to have hope. But all my hope is gone.
“You don’t know the things I’ve done.” The words are whispered. “There might still be hope for you. Don’t allow me to drag you down.”