Page 21 of Fear the Fall
“And I’ve told you to go away,” I shriek, growing more annoyed by the second.
He lowers his mouth to my ear. “Except when you don’t. You play games, Victoria, and you know it. As much as you try to pretend it never happened, I see you wanting to fall back on that time we shared. You want this as much as I do.”
The truth in those words is frustrating. I try to do right by him, but he won’t let me. I allow him in, and he tries to change me. It’s a no-win situation for both of us, when neither wants to give in fully.
“You can’t do this, Zeke. It’s not fair. I’ve done everything to keep you at arm’s length, for your own good. But you never listen.” I shove him away from me. “You break down my walls and I give in, only for you to try to change me. This is me. I’m not altering who I am for anyone. Especially not for some ragtag group of humans.”
“I don’t need your protection, Tori. And I sure as hell never asked you to change. I just want you to be safe,” he yells. “I just want you.”
The room is shrouded in darkness, save for the sliver of light filtering in through the window. The vulnerability displayed by Zeke has me breathing heavily and my eyes dropping to the floor. This is so unlike him, and it’s not fair that he feels this way without knowing everything about me.
Can you really start a relationship based on half-truths and unforgivable circumstances?
“If you knew why I fell, you wouldn’t think so damn highly of me,” I admit, keeping my gaze lowered to the ground.
Zeke’s fingers tip my chin up so that he can look directly into my eyes. “I don’t care about your past, Tori. I want your future.”
“Don’t say things like that,” I whisper, our mouths mere inches apart.
Zeke forges on with his declarations. “Eternity’s a long time to be alone. I want to know everything about you. I want you by my side every day and in my bed every night.”
My breath hitches, the power of his words instigating shivers under his touch and leaving me wordless.
“Let go of whatever’s holding you back. Let me make you feel good.”
What he offers, I know better than to accept. It’ll only bring us both pain in the end. I meant it when I said I was broken. There’s a piece of my heart that was stolen, and I never got it back. I never will, because the man who possesses it is the epitome of selfishness. He’s the keeper of souls and destroyer of life.
“I’m not whoever hurt you, Tori. I’ll take care of you.”
His words have me feeling reckless. The need to mean something to someone trumps all the reasons I’d concocted to keep my distance, and without thinking, I act.
I crash my lips to Zeke’s, begging entrance to his mouth with my tongue. He opens to me immediately, groaning at the desperate feeling of our tongues colliding. I shimmy out of my leather pants while his hands trail from my hips up my side, raising my shirt along with them. He pulls it over my head, so I’m left in only a black thong and matching lace bra. My hands pull at Zeke’s shorts and he helps me by stepping out of them.
I bite my lip as my own hands go to my back, undoing my bra and allowing it to drop to the bed. A tug at my hip drops the thong to the floor. I’m bare to him, and his eyes devour me.
“You’re going to kill me,” he groans into my neck, as he trails kisses up the curve to below my earlobe. “I’ve wanted this again for so long.”
A part of me is screaming to stop before we go too far, but this feels too good to be anything but right. Maybe I’m weak. Maybe I’m not worthy, but right now, I feel alive for the first time in a long time. His expert hands massage and explore places that nobody but Zeke ever has.
“I can’t promise you much, but I can give you this.”
His brow arches. “What are you offering, Tori?”
“Physical only. Nothing emotional. No titles. No promises.” I search his eyes, waiting for his acceptance of my terms. “Can you accept that?”
“It’s not what I want.”
“It’s all I can offer.”
He inhales deeply, eyes closing on the exhale. When he opens them again, I see his resolve. He may not like it, but he’s not turning me away. “For now.”
I lean forward. “Love me,” I whisper into his ear, taking his lobe between my teeth and biting lightly.
He pulls back just a bit, looking into my eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I say, lying back and pulling him with me.
I’ve only been with him, and it started as one night born from a sheer need to erase the memory of someone else. This time will be nothing like that time.