Page 23 of Fear the Fall

Riptide

My legs shakeas my fists clench. To say I’m nervous is a gross understatement. I’m petrified. You don’t break the laws of God and go unpunished.

I’ve been summoned to a hearing, and there’s no doubt as to why. I gave my angelic name to a human, and every time he calls it out, I go willingly. I’m only to go to Earth on God’s command, not at the request of mortals. Yet I have done just that.

Our names are sacred, as we’re bound to answer the call. It’s the way we communicate in Heaven. Visualize and call out. It’s that simple. Now, a human knows my face and has my name. What’s worse is that I relish every moment with him. I pray every day that he’ll call to me.

Thunder rumbles and I know that God is furious.

In a blink, the council appears, surrounding me on all sides. Their disapproval radiates through me, but it’s my brother Michael’s condemnation that shames me most. My head bows as I fall to my knees before him.

I listen as he calls out my transgressions one by one. Hearing all the ways I’ve betrayed God and my fellow angels is worse than I could’ve imagined. It’s painful.

Yet I don’t regret a single one of them.

“And therein lies the greatest betrayal of all, Victoria,” Michael chastises, reading my thoughts. “You’ve fallen for a human.”

My head snaps up, shaking back and forth violently.

“No. I don’t... I can’t... it’s not like that.”

“Did you or did you not interfere with fate and give your name?” Michael asks in a booming baritone that shakes the cloud I stand upon.

“Under duress, Michael. He caught me off guard.” My words spill out in a jumble of pathetic excuses that no angel would buy, let alone Michael, God’s right hand.

My words fall short, which is evident by the always stoic archangel’s frown. Michael isn’t one to show any sort of emotion, and his clear disappointment stings.

I’m dismissed for deliberation, and one hour later the verdict is handed down.

Guilty.

A guilty verdict would typically result in damnation based on my infractions, but Michael and the council see fit to spare me. My punishment is devastating, but more lenient than I deserve. My rapier is confiscated, and I’m banned from Earth.

The latter is the most heartbreaking.

I’m trying to convince myself that life without seeinghimisn’t as bleak as a lifetime in Hell. I’m only fooling myself. Michael was right. I love him.

Victoria.

My name on his lips curls around me like a cocoon. Goose bumps and butterflies race through me as he calls out to me. Every ounce of my being begs to go to him. To be with him. Yet a small voice, not my own, whispers of all the things I’d be giving up. There’s a chance he doesn’t feel as strongly for me as I do him. Am I willing to fall for a hope and a prayer?

I no more than think the thought before the clouds begin to quake and thunder crashes. God knows my thoughts, and he’s sending a clear message. Think carefully, because there is no way back.

Victoria.

He calls my name again with a sense of urgency.

I need you. I... love you.

My breath hitches and eyes close as I savor the words. How could he have known that’s all I needed to hear? Without another thought, I fall.

I jerk awake, panting at the memory turned dream. I haven’t thought about that night in years, and for damn good reason. It was the beginning of the end.

I turn on my side to find the bed’s empty. Zeke’s already left, without saying goodbye. Panic crawls up my chest. Was I talking in my sleep? Does he know my secret?

My hand runs through my hair, pulling at the roots in frustration. Worry and anger war to pull me under—worry over why Zeke isn’t here and anger for the intrusion by my past into my dreams. How dare he haunt me. Is it not enough that he ruined my life? Why, the very night I decide to give in to my need for Zeke, would my mind conjure this memory? It’s because of him I hardly sleep as it is. It makes me sick that after everything he did, my mind still craves his touch. He left an ache so acute it threatens to tear me apart, no matter how hard I try to reject it. And I hate myself because of it.

Staring at the ceiling, I will my breathing to slow. Getting worked up about something from the past isn’t the way to start the day. I refuse to allow him to have this much control over me.