Page 47 of Fear the Fall
“Tori, I know you’re still thinking about Lee, but you know that’s over, right? I’ve proven that you’re it for me, haven’t I?”
After what I witnessed last night, I couldn’t deny that a very large part of me knows he’s not being honest with himself. A larger part wants to believe that his reaction was only to her randomly showing up. I’d have the same reaction if it were Luke.
“I do,” I say, knowing that it doesn’t matter either way, because there is no chance for Lee and Zeke given their stations. He fell and she stayed.
Right now, heavy conversations aren’t a good idea. I need levity. I need to get back to the flirtatious camaraderie we had going before we took the nose-dive into Leeanna territory.
Self-preservation kicks in out of nowhere, and I’m standing up straighter, fixing my hair—for some ridiculous reason—and taking a deep breath to change tack. I won’t allow myself to go down this tragic road of pathetic.
“I know you’re mine. I was just hoping we could cement that fact by spending more time in bed.” I go for his jugular. I’ve already stooped to insecure—might as well run the gamut to seductive. Why the hell not. Seems like a good time to let my feelings take me on a wild ride to crazy town.
He grunts. “I’ve waited for two years for you to say that, and I’m not even able to bask in my winnings.”
Much to my surprise, I’m feeling better already. I make a mental note to look for a therapist. ASAP.
“I was also kind of hoping for round two of shower sex,” I continue to goad, unexpectedly emboldened.
“You’re killing me, English.”
“Angels don’t have last names.”
“We’re playing at mortal, babe. Last names are essential here.”
“And you went with Kincaid?”
“It’s a strong name. Ezekiel Kincaid.”
I giggle at his territorial attitude about his name. As sad as it is, it makes me feel wanted to have him spend his time talking to me. It’s inane, but it’s something I’ve never had. A companion. Someone to just shoot the shit with. Zeke has become that person for me. The one I want to share silly news with and spill my deepest secrets to. With the uncertainties I’m feeling, his absence will be felt twice as acutely when he finally leaves. I don’t want him to go.
Good grief, I’m pitiful.
From the giggle that’s far more girly than tolerable to the flip-flopping moods, it’s becoming clear that Earth has made me a mess.
Who am I even?
“When I get back, we’re staying in bed for days if we can.” Zeke’s voice brings me back to the conversation at hand.
“Ordering food and watching a boatload of movies too.”
He grins. “Wouldn’t have it any other way, angel.”
I flinch at the moniker, and thankfully he doesn’t notice. It’s what Luke had called me, and the thought leaves sourness behind.
“I’ll be back in an hour or so.” He places one last kiss to my cheek before leaving me to myself in the loft.
That nickname has me thinking about things I have no business thinking about. Not after everything Zeke just shared with me. I need a shower, and then I need to drum up a storm to revive my powers. The need to run is intense but eclipsed by the thought of running into Lucifer. He was near. I could feel him.
I’m not ready to face the king of the damned. Somehow, I managed to escape the hound unscathed the last time I ran the trails, and I’m not about to press my luck.
Lucifer spared me.
I shiver at that reality. It’s the only explanation. Hellhounds don’t show mercy unless given direct orders. He also scared off the archangels. No matter how badly I want to dissect that, I have work to do. Satan, Lucifer, king of Hell, Luke—whatever the heck you want to call him—would only bask in the idea that I am thinking of him.
The master of deception, epitome of evil. Not someone I’ll give another single thought to. It would only give him power over me.
If he spared me, he’ll come to collect his favor.
I punch my pillow, irate that I have allowed myself to be in such a position. It’s the truth, and I damn well know it. When Lucifer saves your life, he comes calling. He is the bargainer, and my life has been spared for a price, whether I asked for it or not.
I have to be ready for him.