Page 50 of Blood that Burns
I shrug one shoulder. “Typical tactics. Throat punch, eye jab, knee or groin kick.” I take a sip of wine, looking at him over the rim. “What more do you want to know?”
Law places his hands on the table, leaning toward me. “Did heeverhurt you?”
“Never.” We sit in silence for several moments, and as much as I didn’t want to discuss what happened in Seattle, the current conversation has it bubbling to the surface, and I blurt the words that have sat on the tip of my tongue throughout his entire interrogation of what happened at Marcellus’s. “Why do you care, Law?”
“You know why.”
I shake my head and huff out a humorless laugh. “Because of our connection? Because you have some hero complex and need to keep me safe? Which one, Law?”
“It’s not like that. You’re my friend.”
I throw my hands into the air and groan. “Do you shelter all of your friends like this? Because I’ve got to tell you, it’s no wonder you’re low on visitors.”
“It’s different.You’re... different.”
“How?” My voice raises, and I stand from the table, leaning over and getting even closer to Law. “How am I different?”
He slams his hand down on the table and I jump. “Because I care about you.” His eyes bore into mine and he must see the momentary fear I felt at his anger, because he takes a deep breath, lowers his voice, and continues. “You’re special.”
“Because of our bond.” It’s not a question.
“It’s more than that and you know it.”
“Do I?” I counter, unwilling to say words for him. If he has something to say, he needs to get it said. “Then why are you always pushing me away?”
He stands from the table, walks around until he’s standing in front of me, and grabs my hands in his. “I’m trying to keep you safe.”
“I don’t need you to keep me safe. I need you to be my friend. Not some bodyguard.”
“Don’t lie to me, sunshine,” he says, taking one step closer so that our chests are nearly touching. My breathing is heavy and his eyes smolder. If I leaned up on my toes, our lips would touch. “You and I both know that’s not what you want from me.” My breath hitches.
“You’re wrong.”
He’s right. I want so much more.
“Am I? If that’s the case, then there’s no reason for us to fight.”
His arm wraps around my back, pulling me in to his chest. I yelp at the contact, but don’t dare move, blink, or otherwise breathe. He’s so close, and I won’t do anything to break this moment.
He leans down and my eyes close... but the touch of his lips never comes. His hand falls away from my back and just like that, the spell is broken, and I’m left cold and humiliated.
“Just what I thought,” he breathes out. “You want something I can’t give.”
I take a step back, allowing the anger to fortify into a wall of stone around my bleeding heart.
Too many times I’ve allowed him in only to have the rug pulled out from under me in the harshest of ways. Whether he means them to be or not, they’re mortifying and demeaning. Testing me, only to throw my feelings back in my face, is cruel. There’s too much at stake, too many tough challenges ahead, and I might be a pathetic human in love, but I’m not dumb enough to waste my energy on something that will only get me killed.
My feelings for him are a distraction. More so when they’re unreciprocated.
When he looks at me, I’m that little girl in the middle of a field of flowers, picking the petals and making wishes that are the stuff of fairy tales. The problem with that is the little girl doesn’t get that fairy tale, because she was too young to understand that what she wanted at that moment in time wasn’t what was best for her.
“Talk to me,” Law says, eyes narrowed and lips forming a thin line.
“What’s there to say?” I let out a sigh and shrug. “You’re my fairy tale that will never come true. The thing I wish for even when it’s not meant to be mine.” His eyes widen as though my words have completely caught him off guard. They shouldn’t have, considering his observation moments ago.
You want something I can’t give.
“I’m not that little girl anymore. I know the difference between wishes and reality. I choose to live in the present. To know my worth and know what’s right for me. I can’t do this anymore.”
Without another word, I turn and leave.
He doesn’t even try to stop me.