Page 6 of Shapeshifter

“It must be nice to belong to a community like this though,” I persisted. “I mean, you’re part of the pack, too, but it’s kind of like a family day out when they run together. I’ve been thinking about the harbingers a lot since I met Vira. I know I don’t belong with them, but my parents are completely normal, so I’m not like anyone else around me, you know? Sometimes, I wonder how it would feel to spend time with people who are like me.”

She reached out to pat my hand. “Do you feel like you’re missing out on that?”

“Sometimes. I’ve always been the outsider, so you’d think I’d be used to it. I dunno.” I shrugged, not entirely sure what I wanted to say. “Meeting my birth mother made me think about what might have been.”

“I get that,” she said. “My mother wasn't around for me. Even now, we’re nothing like mother and daughter. I still sometimes wonder how my life might have changed if she’d been there. That doesn't take away from the people who raised us.”

“I love my parents,” I said hurriedly. “They’re so good to me, but they aren’t like me. They can’t always understand how I feel. There’s nobody I can compare experiences to because nobody knows what the hell is happening to me half the time. It’s nice for the pack. The way they’re all in it together. I suppose I’m a little jealous at times like this.” The words sounded silly hearing them out loud, but a lot of niggling feelings seemed to come out of my mouth whenever I spoke to Perdita.

“Do you regret Vira leaving? Was there something else you wanted to hear from her?”

My birth mother had been a disappointment for the most part. “When I think about it, she wasn’t exactly like me either. I don’t know what I’m even looking for, but meeting her and the pack is making me miss it, whatever it is.”

“I won’t say I completely understand, because I think that would be impossible, but I can certainly sympathise. I can see how being unique might get lonely. Maybe Vira isn’t as different from you as she makes out. Perhaps she's suppressed that part of herself. She may even have been brainwashed. The compound she lives in sounds like a cult to me. I don’t think you should ever go there, Margo, even if it feels like the missing piece.”

I thought about it, about the harbingers offering me sanctuary at their home, about them suddenly accepting me and teaching me their ways. Would I be tempted? I watched Perdita potter around the kitchen, her stomach sometimes getting in the way. I thought of Dorian’s crooked smile, the freckles that dotted his skin. Then, with great clarity, I recalled the nightmare I’d had about something dark and unseen stalking those mountains where my birth mother’s people hid. No matter what was missing in my life, I never wanted to go there.

CHAPTER2

Dorian

We wereall swept up in the excitement of a pack run after the challenge. It had been a good challenge with the right intentions, and we all felt that. Jorge was one of the nicer wolves in the pack, but his mood had been off since his family left. I pitied him; his entire family had abandoned him to leave with his banished brother.

Jorge had put the pack first, putting up with the whispers and shame his family had left behind. It was only right that he got to air those grievances and defend his family’s honour in front of the whole pack, and in the process, silence those whispers for good. Jorge had protected Margo from his brother. He had proved himself to be trustworthy, even if the rest of his family couldn’t claim the same.

I was glad the challenge was over. I hated the taste of his tension in the air, hated the murmurs of the rest of the pack about why Jorge had stayed behind. He would grow closer to the alpha. Byron would keep him buoyed above his feelings of anger and abandonment. He wasn’t even mad at Byron, more at his mother for leaving, I would guess, and maybe at his brother for the mistakes he had made.

But now the wound could begin to heal.

The rest of the pack raced ahead, while Victor nipped at my heels to hurry me. Once, I would have held back, maybe even dipped away while nobody was looking. On that day, I was as keen as everyone else to run to the head of the pack where Nathan led the way. Byron kept pace with Jorge who was slower after the fight. I liked the way Byron gave him chances before ending the fight, the way he was careful to make sure Jorge didn’t get left behind on the run. Those small actions gave me a stronger sense of security about the pack.

We had to run deep into the woods to stay hidden. It wasn’t usual for the entire pack to run together there, but there hadn’t been time to plan a real trip away. The wind rustled through trees with freshly sprouted buds while Victor and I chased the scents of rabbits with no real desire to catch them. The world smelled fresh, renewing itself in spring, and everything felt good. Margo hadn’t used her gift in a while, Perdita’s pregnancy was blossoming, and the pack felt right. Victor and the others hadn’t taken anything out on me in months. Something along the way had clicked into place, balancing us, and that felt like a new beginning.

After the run, I hurried home ahead of the others to find Margo waiting with Perdita, her father long gone. The sky had already darkened, so I was glad she waited for me.

“Sorry,” I said breezily, stealing from the plate of cookies in front of Perdita and Margo. Seeing them get along so well filled me with a euphoric sense of happiness—although some of that feeling was leftover from the run. “I didn’t think it’d take so long.”

“It’s okay,” Margo said. “We didn’t make plans together anyway.”

Nathan practically danced into the room. “Well, we have plans, my beautiful fat mate.”

Making a scoffing sound, Perdita tapped the top of his head as he bent over to kiss her tummy. “Cheeky.”

“Any movement? Did I miss anything?”

“Only the usual twists and turns.” She smiled. “Everyone okay now?” She looked to me for an answer.

“Everything’s good,” I said. “You were right. I should go more often.”

Nathan was mumbling something against Perdita’s navel as though it were a direct line to the baby.

She tugged his hair to get his attention. “Wait. What plans?”

He took her hand and kissed her fingers. “I am taking you out to stuff your face.”

“Ooh,” she said. “I can eat a lot. Are you sure you can afford me?”

“I’ve been saving up really hard. We’re even going to the cinema.”