Page 28 of Love Buzz

“You’re welcome, cutie.” After Clementine focuses her attention on Spartan again, Jonas turns to me. “What just happened there?”

I purse my lips. “Caught that, did you?”

“Kind of hard not to.”

“She’s been upset with me for days.” Understatement of the decade. Upset doesn’t begin to cover how Clementine has acted. I don’t blame her, but it also means she has become very much attached to Spartan and Jonas. In some respects, I love the idea of her connecting so easily with them. But I fear the worst if something bad happens. “Today hasn’t been as bad since I told her we were coming over.”

“Sorry you’ve had a teenage seven-year-old on your hands.” He leans against the counter and pulls me to stand between his legs. “Hopefully the dramatics fade soon, now that we’ll see each other more.”

“Fingers crossed.”

The timer buzzes and Jonas checks the pizzas. As soon as they are out of the oven, the air fills with the delicious scents of cheese, bread, and herbs. After they cool a moment, Jonas cuts the pizzas and sets them on the breakfast bar.

“Time to eat, pumpkin.”

Clementine huffs, walks from the couch to the breakfast bar, then pulls out the stool on the far end. She doesn’t say a word before she swaps the pizzas—hers and Jonas’s. In the past, Clementine sat between us. But she is still upset, and her payback is to not sit next to or acknowledge me unless absolutely necessary.

After Jonas feeds Spartan, we all sit down to eat. Dinner is quieter than any previous time. Part of me worries my former decisions have screwed up my relationship with Jonas. As if he hears my wayward thoughts, he nudges me with his elbow. I peek up from my pizza and meet his gaze. He shakes his head.

“Your thoughts practically scream from your head. Stop. It’ll be okay.”

“Maybe we should both talk with her after dinner. Since I seem to be the enemy, maybe she’ll listen to you.”

He nods. “Good idea. Better to nip this in the bud now.”

I swoon a little at how effortless it is for Jonas to want to speak with Clementine. How he assumes a fatherly role with her without overstepping. How he wants the best for her—for us—and has no issue doing whatever it takes to make it happen.

We finish eating our pizza in amicable silence. When Clementine finishes, she hops down and runs back to the couch. After Jonas and I clean up our plates, we join her in the living room.

“What movie are we watching, Mr. Jonas?”

“Not sure. Before we watch a movie, your mom and I need to talk with you.”

She rolls her eyes and I lose it. Although this entire ordeal has been nothing but painful, I don’t deserve to be treated as the villain in all this.

“That’s enough, young lady.” Clementine’s eyes go wide. “The eye rolling stops now. It’s rude and disrespectful.”

She crosses her arms over her chest. “Well, you haven’t been very nice either.”

I have to remind myself that Clementine is seven and not an adult. The way she reacts to situations will be different than me or Jonas. Juvenile. All her little mind knows is I took away someone she cared about, and it hurt her feelings. I take a few deep breaths and calm my nerves.

“Yes, I have made some choices that have upset us all. And I apologize.”

Jonas rubs his palm over my thigh. “Clementine, your mom did what she thought was best for you at the time. She didn’t know another way yet. Now she does and we can be together more. But you have to stop being mean and hurtful. Being that way will only make everyone stay upset longer, and we want to be happy.” Jonas’s tone is gentle and nurturing.

Clementine looks between me and Jonas, unsure. She wants to believe him. Wants to believe he wouldn’t tell her lies. But after all the back and forth over the last few weeks, it’s like grasping at air. My poor girl.

I did this to her. Let her get close to someone. Someone I care about deeply. Then I pulled the rug out without warning. Left her in the dark because I didn’t want to burden her with topics a young child shouldn’t have to worry about. But it still didn’t work. I still messed up. My only hope is it won’t take long for her to smile at me again.

“But what if that man takes me away?”

Twenty-four hours haven’t passed since I went into a better explanation about Leo to Clementine and she is already worried about the outcome of the case. A burden I did not want for her.

I scoot closer to her and, thankfully, she doesn’t back away. “You know all those appointments I’ve been going to, pumpkin?” Clementine nods. “Those are so I can talk to my attorney friend, Theresa. When I saw her today, she gave me good news.” At this, Clementine leans an inch closer. Eager to hear more. “She said because I have been such a good mom and your birth father has never seen you, the judge will let you stay with me.” Partial truth. Still have to wait until the judge puts his seal of approval on the paperwork. But Clementine doesn’t need semantics. “We just have to wait for the special meeting later this month. But Theresa also said it’s okay for you and me to be with Jonas and Spartan. Before, I didn’t know if spending time with them would make it harder for you to stay with mommy.”

All of this is a lot for Clementine to process, but I need for her to understand that I haven’t done all these things to be mean. Being apart from Jonas hurt us too. Since seeing him earlier today, after agreeing to not be apart again, the ache I experienced since this whole nightmare started has lessened.

I may notneedJonas to get through this, but I want him by my side. Without effort, he makes me whole. Lifts me up and keeps me standing strong. Has my heart beating vigorously. My lungs flooding with oxygen. He gives me life.