Page 83 of Dark Cravings

Arrow got in another hit, and his knife couldn't have come more than a few inches away from the heart, but the wolf was still standing. If I was going to get turned into a monster, why couldn't I at least be an alpha like that instead of a defective one? At least then I might've been of some practical use, and maybe I would actually stand a chance at the revenge that had become my primary reason for existing.

The revenge and Castor, but I knew better than to think the fact that he had come back meant anything. Every time I started to allow myself to hope where he was concerned, I regretted it.

"Take him and get out of here," Arrow ordered to Castor while the beast was recovering from his most recent blow.

The other hunter hesitated, looking at me.

"It's his sire," Arrow added. As if that was reason enough.

Judging from the way Castor's eyes widened as he looked back at me, it was.

I stopped, watching as the alpha rose to his full height. I had to take the shot while I still had the chance, before Castor forced me to run. And I couldn't exactly explain to him that I wasn't a threat, especially since I wasn't entirely sure how much longer I would be able to hold that part of me at bay.

Before Castor could reach for me, and while the alpha was still staggering back onto his feet, I fired the shot directly into his chest, chambered the gun, and fired again. He staggered back, unleashing a guttural roar that made me feel wrong on so many levels.

The beast fell onto his back, but I didn't have time to see what else came of the attack before Castor grabbed me and pulled me with him.

"No!" I gritted out, straining to get away from him as I heard the sounds of battle continuing, including the metallic scrape of Arrow’s blades as they made contact with each other before he struck out and attacked the wolf. The beast’s growls echoed through the forest.

"Let me go! I have to kill him," I snarled.

"That thing will rip you to shreds," Castor snarled back at me. "You’re lucky to even be alive."

I continued struggling against him. I didn't care. What did it matter if I died, as long as I got my revenge in the process? Did it really matter if I lived if I passed up this opportunity?

"He'll die!" I cried, figuring if he couldn't be reasoned with for the sake of letting me take my revenge, maybe he would at least care about protecting his friend over me.

Before Castor could respond, another guttural snarl echoed through the forest, and we both looked up to see the wolf looming over Arrow. I gasped, but a second later, the beast collapsed and Arrow shoved the body off him, pulling his blades from its chest in one swift motion. He was covered in blood from head to toe, staring down at the dead wolf at his feet.

I broke away from Castor somehow and ran toward them both. Castor grabbed me again, still faster than I was, and when I saw the frenzied look in Arrow’s eyes as he turned to face us, I understood why he had held me back.

The other hunter looked like a demon that had just climbed out of hell, his eyes lit up and redder than they ever had been. For one awful second, I found myself wondering if my sire had managed to possess him, or at least passed on his bloodthirst, but then again, Arrow possessed plenty of that on his own.

Castor's arms were outstretched as he stood between us, watching warily like he didn't know which way this was going to go. I had to confess, neither did I.

I flinched as Arrow took a step toward us both, but he stopped rather than continuing. His gaze was still wild, but it softened somewhat as he looked between me and Castor, who had his hand on the hilt of his blade as if he was ready to fight the other hunter.

"Sorry, mutt," Arrow said, his voice guttural, but still his own. "I know you wanted to finish him off, but your sire was way too powerful to use as a training exercise."

I stared at him for a moment, not quite sure what I was feeling. Dismay. Regret. Relief. They all swirled around my mind, but I couldn’t latch on to any of them. I took a step forward, but the moment I laid eyes on the corpse of the dead wolf behind Arrow, one emotion overpowered all the others.

Grief.

Crushing, devastating pain, as if I had just watched my family die all over again right in front of me. Hell, I wasn't even sure I had felt this degree of agony at that terrible moment, considering the bloodlust and madness had outweighed everything else. It was all the more reason to hate myself, because here I was, grieving the fucking monster who had taken everything from me even more than I had grieved my own damn family.

What the hell was wrong with me? No amount of disgust toward myself or toward my sire was enough to shake sense into me, though. It wasn't enough to stop these traitorous feelings from taking hold.

I collapsed in the bloody grass as the weight of it all hit me all at once. All the pain, all the guilt, all the confusion. I didn't recognize the piercing cry of agony echoing through the night as my own until Castor knelt beside me and wrapped his arms tight around me. He must've thought I was grieving the loss of my chance at revenge, and that was partly true. Just not completely. Not enough to justify all the other blasphemous things I was feeling. Not enough to make me hate myself any less.

Arrow grimaced as he approached hesitantly. "Is he–?"

"He'll be fine," Castor said, keeping his arms around me as he pulled me to my feet. "I just need to get him away from here.”

Arrow nodded. "Yeah, go ahead. Baker and I will take care of this mess, wherever the hell he is," he said bitterly.

I resisted as Castor led me away because I couldn't take my eyes off my sire’s corpse. It was like my body was completely separate from my mind, and my heart… I didn't even know what universe it was living in.

Certainly not the same one as me.