Page 26 of A Return For Ren

“I think you let him off too easy,” Rose said.

“What am I supposed to do? He wants me to be mad at him. It’s been years. I’ve moved on. He’s got a kid, he’s moved on. It’s pretty obvious.”

“What’s going on with Max’s mother?” Poppy asked. “Is she in the picture and you have to worry about someone coming to mess up things like Brittany did with Willow?”

She hadn’t given any details about Max’s mother. She’d kept that part out of the conversation and only focused on Ren.

“No. Max’s mother died a few months ago.”

“Oh,” Poppy said. “That’s sad. So Ren could be hurting and raising Max on his own.”

She figured she was going to have to tell them more or they wouldn’t understand what she was feeling and seeing. “No. He didn’t know Max existed until four months ago. He wasn’t dating Rachelle long. She got pregnant and didn’t tell him. She dropped Max off and left. Said she couldn’t handle him and wasn’t in a good place. Ren said he found out a few months ago that she’d overdosed.”

No reason to say much more. The summary she gave was good enough.

“Now I hate her,” Rose said. “How can you drop your kid off with a stranger? It doesn’t matter that Ren is Max’s father. They didn’t know about each other.”

“Exactly. So add that to this situation, but he’s a great dad. He puts Max first. I can see it with everything.”

From the way the house was set up for Max’s comfort to Ren not wanting Max to be out of his sight around anyone new. The way he raced to the daycare when he was late a few days ago, out of breath and his face red.

Embarrassment was riding high with the fear his son would be upset.

Then the relief that Max was fine chased by the annoyance his son would rather be in Zara’s arms. She wanted to grin over that still.

“That’s good at least. But his father died and he’s here to help sell the family business,” Poppy said, her eyes almost glossy. Poppy was more emotional than anyone she knew, with a heart of gold. “Just another knock in his life. He doesn’t want to have a part in it?”

“No,” she said. “You probably didn’t know much about him and it’s not like I talk about it. We split because he couldn’t live here anymore. He and his father had a tumultuous relationship. Ryan Whitney treated his son like crap. I hate to speak ill of the dead, but they fought like cats in the rain going for the last bowl of milk for miles. Ryan wanted Ren to work at the marina and Ren didn’t want to.”

“That’s too bad. Being back here has to be conflicting,” Rose said. “We loved our mother. She did the best she could. But there were times she couldn’t do enough. It’s horrible to say it, but we knew. Poppy fought the most with our mother. Her emotions and all.”

“But not like Ren with his father,” Poppy said. “I wanted to do what I wanted and hated to be told no. I fought with Lily even more.”

“Not nearly as much as you wanted to,” Rose said. “You were afraid to since Lily was all we had. You spent more time sneaking out and hoping you wouldn’t get caught.”

“Ah, but Lily always knew,” Poppy said. “And we are getting off track. Zara, tell us what you feel and what you want. Maybe we can help once we know that. I can see Rose wants to unleash on all the ways to get even and make Ren suffer. I’d rather help you plan on how to get him back but make him know who is boss this time. We don’t know what you want though.”

“And that is why I’m talking to both of you. Lily knows he’s back, but it’s only been a week. She doesn’t know what happened the other day.”

“Lily is too practical at times. You are too,” Rose said. “But you want us. We don’t always think things to death like Lily does.”

Zara blushed. “That is true. The worst part is, I’m not sure what I want.”

“Tell us what you feel when you see him,” Poppy said.

“Sadness. Grief. I loved him so much. He hurt me. He broke my heart.”

“You didn’t say anger,” Rose said. “He wants you to show that. He told you that. Your words made it seem like it wouldn’t change anything and only set you up to have your heart broken again when he left in a few months. I’m great at keeping it all in.” Poppy snorted. “It’s not a secret, I know it. Since you don’t know what you want and made that statement, something tells me if he wanted to try again and acknowledged he’d be willing to move here, you’d give it a go?”

That was what she’d spent the past day thinking of.

Zara could think things to death like her sister-in-law too. “If he said he was going to move here or at least was open to it, then I’d be willing to give it a try. I’d like to see if what we had was still there or is only a memory of a young girl. I’m thirty-two and haven’t been serious about anyone like I was him.”

She knew she could move past what he’d done to her if there was a reasonable explanation. People do stupid emotional things when they were young. And as everyone had said before, she was a forgiving person.

“Do you think you are holding onto what it felt like with Ren?” Poppy asked.

“Maybe.”