Page 13 of A Moment Too Late

“I can’t.”

Two words. That’s all I get out. There are a million reasons running through my mind, but none of them feel validated.

“Your excuses are lame.” Spencer rolls his eyes at me. “I’m already kicking off the 5k race on Saturday, and Summer is speaking at the fountain dedication after. It would mean a lot to both of us if you could speak at the lantern release.”

I open my mouth to protest but nothing comes out. Which is what scares me most about speaking in front of a crowd. Especially about Sam. And if the words won’t come, the tears will. The last thing I want is to have an emotional breakdown in front of half the town.

“If you won’t do it for us, do it for Sam,” Spencer urges. Not only was that a low blow but he’s flaunting his signature pout.

I have no idea how Mia is able to say no to him when he pulls this shit. I swear, the ‘puppy dog’ look has never worked on me before, except when it came to Spence. Probably because he doesn’t use it all the time. Only when something matters to him, and I know this does.

Because Sam mattered to him. She mattered to all of us. She was the glue that kept us all together. Which is probably why I feel like my heart is still in pieces.

“Fine, but I want to be behind the crowd. I don’t want to stand in front of anyone. I don’t want people staring at me. And I can’t promise how long I’ll be able to talk about her, but I’ll try.”

“Thank you, Andrea. It’s never easy to talk about the people we’ve loved and lost, but knowing Sam for as long as I have, as long as I did, I think she would be pleased,” the dean remarks as he stands.

Damn small-town politics.

Stupid everyone-knows-everyone place.

I should have seen this coming. The itinerary Spencer sent was detailed. I knew he was speaking at the race, and Summer at the dedication. What I didn’t notice was the lack of a speaker at the lantern release.

“She would be pleased, you know,” Spencer adds as we walk back across campus toward Main Street.

Sam would be happier if she were still alive.

I want to say the words, they’re on the tip of my tongue, but they’re filled with spite. I haven’t seen Spencer in almost five years and the last thing I want to do is fight with him the entire time I’m here.

Or worse, ruin our friendship. I can’t take another loss right now.