Page 31 of A Moment Too Late
“Hello. First, I’d like to thank the university for giving me the opportunity to be here today to share with all of you the love I had for Sam. I’d also like to thank Summer, Sam’s mom, for allowing me to date her daughter and for welcoming me into their family with arms wide open.”
I glance over my shoulder to see Summer blow Jay a kiss and place her hand over her heart. I wasn’t the only person she adopted. We were all one big family, Mia and Spencer included.
“I’m not going to lie and say my relationship with Sam was perfect. We all knew her, so we knew how stubborn she could be.” Laughter rumbles through the crowd but I can’t tear my eyes away from Jay. “She was a feisty little thing. Always full of energy. Ready for her next adventure. She found a way to make everyone smile, even in their darkest times. She brought out the best in those around her. And when she loved, she loved with all her heart.
“I wasn’t good enough for Sam. I didn’t deserve her. I knew it, and I tried to push her away in the beginning, but she wasn’t having it. She just pestered me until I agreed to take her out and the rest is history. Our first date was a bit of a disaster. It was Valentine’s Day, and I didn’t make a reservation. We spent most of the night driving around, looking for somewhere to eat. We ended up in an Arby’s parking lot three towns over. It wasn’t my finest moment, but by the end of the night, she had me hooked. Life was an adventure to Sam. That night was no different. It didn’t matter that we were eating curly fries in a dimly lit parking lot. We were together, talking, getting to know each other, and that’s all she wanted from our first date. The food and location didn’t matter. We were together and that’s what was important to her. From that moment on I tried my best to make her as happy as she made me, but I feel like I failed a little more every day. If she were here, she’d probably disagree with me. She ‘would try to fight me on my statements. And you know what, I’d be okay with that. Because that would mean she was here still. I’d fight with her every day for the rest of my life if given the chance.”
Jay breaks eye contact with the crowd, lowering his head and taking a deep breath. Once he raises it again, his composure is back, and his eyes are locked on mine.
“We all have memories with Sam that we’ll hold onto for the rest of our life, that we’ll keep close to our heart, so we don’t forget her. Remember the good times, forget the bad. Remember her smile and her laugh. The way she brightened up a room when she walked in. Lock those details away, and when you think of Sam, think of her fondly. That’s what I’ll always do. She will always have a place in my heart. Thank you.”
He doesn’t break eye contact with me as he places the microphone on the podium and makes his way back over to our table. Turning back to face our friends, I scan their faces to find tears in their eyes, Jay’s words striking deep.
“That was a beautiful tribute,” Summer says, reaching across the table to take Jay’s hands in hers after he’s seated again.
“She was a beautiful woman with a big heart,” he replies, placing his free hand on my leg beneath the table.
I’m still staring at their clasped hands when the dean commands the microphone again, startling me. Blinking twice, I feel the first tear fall. Before I can wipe it away, Jay’s taken my face in his hands and his thumbs catch the strays, and the set that follows after.
“Thank you all again for coming out. We’ll be releasing lanterns in honor of Sam tonight at dusk from the fifty-yard line of the football field. Please make sure you’re at the stadium no later than six o’clock so you have time to personalize your lanterns. Tonight’s speaker as we send our love to Sam up in the heavens will be her best friend, Andrea Morris.” The mention of my name has me closing my eyes, releasing a fresh set of unshed tears. “Tomorrow will also be a day of celebration. The first annual Samantha Bridges Memorial Race will begin in the parking lot of Riley’s Pub at nine o’clock and conclude at the unveiling of the new fountain at the center of Central Park where the fountain will be dedicated in Sam’s honor. I hope you can join us in celebrating Sam’s life as we mourn her death as a community on the fifth anniversary of her tragic passing.”
With that, I hear the microphone turn off, the speakers popping softly overhead. When I finally open my eyes a few minutes later, Jay and I are alone at the table. He’s still holding my face in his hands and staring at me with concern etched between his brows.
“I’m okay,” I say, letting out a sigh, my voice lacking the conviction I was hoping it would have. There really is no point in lying to him. Everyone is riding the same emotional rollercoaster I’m on. The feeling of loss is a freshly opened wound again. I’m not in this alone, yet I feel the need to push him away. Push them all away.
“You need to get some sleep.” He’s studying my face as he speaks.
“Well, if someone wasn’t knocking on my door at all hours of the night, maybe I would be able to,” I counter, raising my left eyebrow at him in challenge.
“I promise I won’t tonight.” His words are a complete contradiction to the growing smirk on his face. Before I can question him further, he’s pulling me out of my seat, lacing our fingers together, and we’re walking out the door. I barely have time to wave at Mia and Spencer who are talking with Summer and the dean. All four of them are staring at us as we glide out the exit. Mia’s eyes are glued on our clasped hands, a sinister smirk on her face.
“Where are we going?” I ask as I almost trip over my feet in an attempt to keep up with his long strides.
“You’re tired.”
“And we’re rushing back to my room because you want me to take a nap? We have to listen to those interviews, Jay. Time is not on my side here. The chief expects me to deliver the profile in forty-eight hours. I can’t stop to rest right now. I need to nail down de—”
“We,” he interrupts. “We need to nail down details. You’re not doing this alone.”
“Fine. We need to eliminate potential suspects. Go over the files again to make sure we didn’t miss something important that could help us identify who did this to her. I can sleep when I’m dea—”
I cut myself off as Jay jerks me to a stop.
“When I get back home,” I quickly correct myself.
“I lost you before, Drea. I don’t plan on letting that happen for a second time. You need to rest. You’re running yourself into the ground trying to solve this case. It’s not good for you. You’ll think better after a nap.”
“You never lost me,” I protest, averting my eyes, but that does nothing to cool the heat creeping up my neck from his stare.
You can’t lose what you never had,I think to myself.
Releasing my hand, Jay slides his arm around my waist and tugs my body to his. Leaning in close, he nibbles my earlobe before whispering words that crack the last of my resolve.
I want him. Damn the consequences.
I’m not strong enough to resist the magnetic pull he’s had on me the last seven years. Not anymore. I fought the good fight for as long as I could. Now, I’m giving in. Willingly. I’m going to allow myself to have the one thing I’ve denied myself.
Jay.