Page 10 of Dirty Little Secret
This house is filled with memories. Of my dad. Of my family. Us around the table at dinnertime. Celebrating Max’s baseball victories, me winning cheer competitions, Evie when she was crowned the National Spelling Bee winner. Mom and Dad’s anniversaries. All our birthdays. Every holiday.
But my thoughts drift back to family game night more often than not. Every Wednesday. Mom would order pizza, Dad would pick the game, and the kids got to pick the music. We’d spend hours laughing and fighting. Monopoly was banned multiple times but kept making a reappearance. Life was our favorite. My dad liked to make sure he always had three kids in his car, and he found a way.
It’s comforting being here, but I also know that feeling will fade with time. I want to soak it all in while I can. While the visions of my father throwing Evie in the pool are still fresh. Of Dad throwing the baseball with Max. Of him grilling out in the bitter cold this past winter because I wanted steak for my birthday.
That’s the kind of dad he was. He sacrificed to make sure his family was happy.
I feel the bed dip just as his scent washes over me. Sandalwood and mint. A heady combination. I used to get excited any time the smell assaulted my senses. Then I went to college and realized those scents, although a unique combination to Finn, were also somewhat common. Anytime I smelled either of them, I’d lose my mind when I couldn’t find him in the crowd.
Freshman year, the guy behind me in my history class chewed gum every day. The same kind you’ll always find in Finn’s pockets. Halfway through the semester I couldn’t take it anymore. I was fully prepared to bitch him out, but when I turned around, I was floored. He was gorgeous, his features the exact opposite of Finn’s. Where Finn has dark hair and eyes that stand out against his soft beige complexion, this guy was a poster boy for California. White/blond hair, light blue eyes, and bronze skin.
When he caught me staring at him, he smiled, his perfect white teeth sparkling in the florescent lighting, the gum in question trapped between his two front teeth. He asked me out for coffee after class that day. I declined, and even though he didn’t appear heartbroken, he never returned to his seat behind me that semester.
“What are you doing here?” I ask as Finn lays his hand over my waist, pulling my body against his. The comforter bunches up between his chest and my back, making me realize he didn’t crawl under the covers with me.
“I brought back your shoes.”
Shoes?Oh yeah, the ones I threw in the backyard.
“Thank you.” Silence descends between us. My room is dark, the sun having set while I was sleeping. I hadn’t intended on taking a nap, but my body was exhausted and had other ideas. I vaguely remember my mom coming in to check on me, and then Max.
Max.
Where is he? He’ll be livid is he finds Finn in here with me. I don’t have the strength to fight him right now, or even to lie to him.
As if reading my mind, Finn informs me that Max ran to the store for my mom. He’ll be back soon, there’s no doubt in my mind.
“Why are you still here? I figured you’d head back to the city today, or at least to your parents’ house.”
“I just finished helping clean up. My parents left a few minutes ago. I wanted to check on you before I headed out.”
“Thanks,” I whisper, curling my hands under my pillow and scooting away from him.
“Uh huh.” That’s all he says as I feel him push off the bed.
Closing my eyes, I listen as his footfalls get closer on the hardwood floor. When I don’t hear my door close behind him, I open my eyes to find Finn kneeling on the floor in front of me.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m making sure you’re okay. I’m taking care of you the only way I can right now.”
“And how is that?”
“By showing you you’re not alone,” he says, cupping my cheeks in his large hands and lowering his lips to mine in a gentle kiss, his lips featherlight over mine. “By showing you I care.” Another brush of his lips against mine, and my eyes fall closed as sensation after sensation washes over me from the weight of his words. “By claiming you as mine.”
This time his lips press firmly against mine, his tongue tracing the seam, begging for entrance. Kissing Finn is like basking in the sun. It warms me from the inside out, brings a smile to my face, and I pray it never ends. I could live the rest of my life happily if Finn kissed me every day.
Too bad that’ll never happen.
“Stop overthinking it,” he mumbles against my lips, angling his head, intensifying our kiss.
How he knows what I’m thinking about confuses me until I realize the deep V between my eyebrows is furrowed in concentration. Pulling back, I open my eyes and find Finn’s dark eyes filled with lust, his lips pink and swollen from our kiss. On instinct, I reach up and place my fingers over my mouth, feeling my lips. They’re puffy as well.
I wonder if they were puffy earlier. Was that why Max looked at me the way he did? Was that why he questioned me? Does he already know what’s going on?
“I’m not letting you walk away from me this time,” Finn says as he pushes himself off the ground, standing to his full height. His six-foot-two frame towers over me. Rolling to my back so I look up at him without straining my neck, I feel the determination in his stare even though I can’t see his eyes from this far away in the dark.
“You walked away from me if I remember correctly,” I point out.