Page 17 of Risky Little Affair
“Which rule do you want to break?”
Please say the no sex rule,I silently beg her.
“The one where I let you stay because I like the way it feels when you wrap your arms around me.” I tighten my grip a little, resting my chin on her head. “Or the one where I beg you to take me like you did the first time.”
A groan escapes before I can swallow it down.
“And breaking those rules would be a bad thing why?”
Wiggling out of my embrace, Lex turns to face me, her face contorted in anguish. My heart lurches in my chest at the thought that my words have hurt her. Again.
I want to make her smile. To see her light up with delight.
“My scholarship. My grades. My exam tomorrow. Do I need to keep going?” Her attempt at sass falls flat. The genuine concern in her voice overshadowed every word she spoke.
“No, but just for the record, I would be on my best behavior if you let me stay.”
“But I wouldn’t, and that’s the problem. Because when you’re around, I have a hard time controlling myself, Micah. It’s like you flip this switch and I go from responsible, sensible Alexis, to a completely different version of myself. One I don’t recognize. You’re more than a distraction, you’re all consuming. It’s not your fault. You’re not doing it intentionally. I don’t think anyway. But—”
“Lex,” I growl, cutting her off. Her hands had started to fly around as she spoke. She was getting worked up, and the last thing I wanted was to cause her any worries. “Take a deep breath.”
Thankfully, she does as I ask, and then takes a seat on the edge of her bed once again. I let her calm down, and after a few minutes, I take the seat next to her, purposefully leaving a few feet of space between us.
“I need you to go, Micah. I know that’s not what you want to hear but it’s the truth. I don’t have anything to offer you. Saturday night was a one-time deal. It can’t happen again. We can’t be... we just can’t.”
I let myself out without glancing back at her. Like the coward I am when it comes to her. Because if I did, I knew I would see the real truth. That kicking me out was breaking her as much as it was me.