Page 44 of Risky Little Affair
Flopping back against my pillow, I scowl as Piper takes a seat on the edge of my bed and offers me her coffee. I shake my head even though I know I’m going to need at least two cups to get myself going today.
“It’s nothing. Just had a nightmare last night and couldn’t fall back asleep. Before you ask, I don’t want or need to talk about it. I don’t remember it. I just recall I woke up freaking out.”
And there was my second mistake.
Because Piper is the only person who knows about my nightmares. I had one the second night we lived together and told her the truth. We’ve never talked about it since, she hasn’t pressured me, but then again, I’ve never given her a reason to need to. Until now.
“It’s been a while since you’ve had one of those.” Her voice is hesitant at first, a clear sign that she’s going to push me to tell her. “You may not think you need to talk about it but maybe that’s exactly what you need. Or at least to talk about why you had one out of the blue.”
Mistake number three?
I’m getting to that one.
And I know it’s going to be a mistake before the words even leave my mouth, but I can’t stop them.
“I told Micah about my family.”
Piper’s’ swift intake of breath is audible. Why? Because Lo and Kendall have been fed bits and pieces. My stepdad is an asshole. I grew up poor. I hate going home. But Piper, she knows every sordid detail, including what happened that night and the fallout. And if I don’t trust my best friends enough to tell them the truth, in its entirety, then why was I telling Micah?
“How much did you tell him?”
“Everything but about that night for the most part. The highlights. He knows as much as the girls, maybe a little more.”
“And that’s why you had a nightmare.”
“No, I had a nightmare because I didn’t tell him. Because I spent most of yesterday thinking about it, and then last night dreaming about it, knowing I lied to Micah and feeling like shit.”
Piper stares down at me for a few seconds, her face void of all emotions except for the sparkle in her eye. I can tell her mind is reeling, and the second all the pieces of the intricate puzzle she’s working on click together, a lazy smile begins to slowly consume her face.
“What?”
“You felt like shit.”
“And?”
“Why did you feel bad?”
“Because I didn’t tell him.”
“Why do you think you need to tell him?”
“Piper, whatever you’re trying to get at, get there quicker. I’m already going to be late for class at this rate.” It’s not a lie. I should really get moving. Especially if I want to stop for a much-needed venti mocha on my way.
“You have feelings for him.”
“Not the kind you’re referring to.” I’m quick to dismiss her idea, tossing back my covers and forcing myself out of bed, but that doesn’t mean her words don’t stick in my mind.
While I’m getting ready for class.
On the walk over.
During the lecture that I didn’t listen to.
And even as I sit outside of my dorm on a bench, avoiding going back to the room in case Piper is there. She made me promise we’d talk more when I got back from class but I’m not ready.
Because she thinks I have feelings for Micah. The kind that lead to bigger things. And with those big feelings come complications.
I have enough shit in my life to worry about. A messy relationship isn’t one of them.