Page 107 of Forbidden Eyes
They’re both to the door without a second glance backwards, chuckling with each other about something. “Oh, and Fia’s in the boardroom. Waiting,” he calls back. She is? “Get your priorities in order. Can’t run a business with a fucked-up head.”
Shit.
And then they’re gone, leaving me both speechless and astounded. I stare at the empty doorway they’ve walked through, not knowing what the hell to do or say, and then look across at the dice there on his desk.
My desk.
“New generation, I guess,” Logan says quietly.
I slowly turn back to him, still all over the goddamn place, and take a good look at that face of his. It’s impassive, pokerfaced, as if everything here was either expected or condoned. I’m not sure which, though, and him extending his hand to me in congratulations doesn’t feel congratulatory in the slightest. “I’ll see you on Monday, Carter.”
I grip his hand tighter, waiting to feel something coming back at me that I don’t like. Nothing does, and his eventual smile calms the distrust I normally have in him down to nothing.
Besides… Fia.
He turns and heads for the desk, his hand swiping the dice from it before he walks out in the same direction as Quinn and Nate. I snort, thinking of those dice. Guess Logan deserves them. Not like they mean anything to me, anyway. Might have been nice to keep them, or not. Whatever, I've got this instead. I'm alone in a big-ass office. My office. Jesus. My lips twitch, a slow smile coming. Not bad for a kid out of the streets. Whore for a mother. Asshole for a father. Druggy as a brother. All dead now. Not me, though. Little Tyler Mazarono might not have stood much of a chance in life, but Carter Wade certainly does, all thanks to these men around me.
I take a last sweeping look around and leave the room so I can get things out that need saying, locking the door behind me. Don’t trust anyone, he said, not even him. The thought makes me chuckle as I walk the corridors, unsure what the hell that meant but damn sure I don’t believe it. If there’s one person in this world I’ll always trust, it’s Quinn Cane. And if he thinks Fia’s right for me, if he protected her, having accepted me being with her, then that means I need to haul ass and give her more of me than I’ve given so far.
Hard work. That’s what Nate said earlier, that love was hard work. It isn’t. Nothing about the way I feel for her is hard work. She’s everything happy in my life. Or will be when I do what I should have done the second I tasted that strawberry milkshake. Her smile, her laughter, her hope for a clean life, a decent one. The hard work is just letting myself be part of it, letting myself accept it as a new version of what life can be if I give it a chance. A bit like this family I'm part of.
The door clicks, and I stride into the boardroom with every intention of talking this through like adults and expressing all the fucking emotion I’ve either buried or never owned, but the sight of her floors me into stretching silence instead. She turns to look at me across the table, a soft, lilac summer dress clinging to curves and breasts that no one should be able to see but me. Her heels make her seem too fucking sexy for words. She looks all grown up, like she owns this room and me with it. For the first time in a week, she smiles as she pulls her hair over her shoulder to trail down her chest. It’s coy. Not the same giggly, excited vision I got over dinner. Or the slutty, lazy one who comes after fucking, but it’s just as beautiful in its own way. Everything about her is, enough so that every intention I had of rational conversation evaporates into thin air.
“Hey,” she says. “Uncle Quinn thought we should talk. He's probably right now I've had time to think and ..."
“I love you.” Her eyes widen, the smile wiped from her face by surprise. I don’t care. There isn’t anything to talk about but those words as far as I’m concerned. “I love you, Fia Vico, and I want you and I’m an asshole for not telling you sooner.”
"Right."
"That clear enough for you? I don't know if that's enough because I've never done this before, and I don't know how to do relationships either, but damn, anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?" A small smile crosses her lips. It's returned, as I start closing the distance down, my fingers itching for her. "That's all I want. You and me. Together. All in."
She takes a step back.
"Me and you, and your life."
"What?"
"Your life, Carter," she says, walking along past the bank of windows to get to me. I watch her hands drag over the mahogany, nails scraping. "Cane life. Not necessarily legitimate Cane life."
My eyes narrow, wondering where this is going. She seems aloof, like something's changed about her. "Yes, my life is part of me. It's not changing any time soon, Fia.” Especially not now.
"And what makes you think I'd want to be part of that life? My father is that life. Illegal deals. Corrupt handlings. He’s dirty and that’s not me.” Her body turns from looking at me to stare out the window instead, arms folded rather than grabbing for me like I'd assumed they would. She cocks her hip, foot tapping the floor for some goddamn reason. "What is it that you think your version of love can offer me, Carter?"
Well fuck, seems like we're negotiating.
My lips curve, eyes looking at that ass.
Game on.
Thirty-Two
My heart hammers in my chest.
He said the words.
The three words I’ve been holding out to hear, but refused to admit quite how much I wanted, or needed, to hear them from him. Uncle Quinn was right. Carter just needed some time, some perspective to figure it out. That’s how Uncle Quinn put it when he cornered me in the garden a few days ago. A chat,he said. It was time to think clearly, like a Cane would do.
And now, surely, it’s me who should be all over the place. I’m the young, never been in love girl who’s had her life turned upside down, but after a few days of looking at my options, I’m rather calm. Another result of Quinn’s talk, perhaps. He’s never been much of a talker, and I’m positive that his actions and behaviour over the years have skirted the line of right and wrong, but it was his pep talk that finally got me seeing sense and reason.