Page 36 of Forbidden Eyes
Carter doesn’t answer.
I don’t dwell on the thought of my father repeating what that man did to me. “He’s laughing at everything I’ve accomplished. Or at least what I hope to.”
He frowns and leans back away from me, head shaking. “I don’t follow.” I sigh, finally beginning to feel settled with the safety of the situation now.
“My master’s program is focused on research, specifically on understanding why drugs are addictive, what happens at a neurological level to cause addiction. The aim is to synthesise a safe and controlled high, just as convincing as the hard stuff.”
Carter looks on, giving me space to continue.
“We know that brain cells react differently to synthetic substances like opioid drugs or say, fentanyl, compared to natural opioids produced by the body like endorphins.”
“Go on.” He nods.
“It’s partly why drugs are so addictive. They stimulate our receptors in a way that is faster and more effective than our own natural drugs. We’ve not been able to recreate that. Until now.Thisis where my education has taken me.Thisis what I want to be working on in my future. So to find out that my dad, and the business with my name on it, are working at the other end of this…” Salty tears coat my cheek, but I dash them away and slump back, looking out the window so I don’t have to see Carter trying to placate me.
“Here are your drinks.” The waitress delivers a tall, silver milkshake cup to me and a glass bottle of water for Carter. I don’t waste any time taking the bamboo straw to drink down the fresh, creamy mixture.
We’re quiet for a few moments, and I don’t want to look at Carter. Somehow, admitting what I’ve been working on has exposed me more than anything else I could have said to him.
“Your dad knows what your chemistry degree means? What you’re working on?” he asks after a while.
“Yeah. Maybe not the ins and outs of the research, but he knows the basic concept. It’s what earned me my spot at Columbia starting in the fall.”
“You’re smart, but did you ever think about the potential danger that developing that type of research could bring?”
“I don’t follow.” Why would my research put me in danger?
“How can you be so smart as to look at something like this, but not consider how you might upset the world markets. They still deal in drugs, Sofia. Billions of dollars every year. It's how the underbelly still trades. If you create something that is natural and provides the same effect? Market shifts. But then I guess if you did, your father would have first rights to it.”
My eyes fly up, meeting his rather than the table I was looking at. "What?"
"It'll be a healthy alternative, presumably. Worth a lot of money if handled right."
The sudden ramifications of what he's saying hit me in the guts,making me understand exactly what he means. My dad will use my research for profitable gain, building his empire further.
Our food arrives and I take a long sip of my milkshake, enjoying the sweetness, but it doesn’t take long for the bitterness to come back. At Carter’s bombshell, I’ve lost my appetite. “I’ll wait for you in the car.” I stand, fear sidling up to me and telling me to question my actions, but I can’t be held hostage again, especially not by my own feelings. I slide from my seat, just about done with all this information, and this night.
Eleven
She’s rushing out the door before I can catch a breath, but if she thinks I’m chasing her ass down again, she’s wrong. I watch her go, eyes trained on her figure as she travels across the forecourt and hurries to the car. It’s locked, and for the moment it can stay locked. We’re safe here for the time being, and if she needs a moment to deliberate what she’s seen, what she's been through, she can have it. Whatever might have happened earlier, and whatever I need to do to put that deal back into shape and cover myself, I’m glad she’s seen it all. At least she knows where she comes from now and what her father’s life is about. How the hell I’m going to explain it all to Quinn is something I haven’t worked out yet, but I will.
Danny is on the drugs for now, and he'll make sure that’s running smoothly again. I can only hope that earns me some slack if Vico finds out what else has happened. One thing that won’t be fucking happening is her father finding out that he nearly lost a tonne of money in the process of all this shit going down. If I have to, I'll replace the money from the deal myself to make sure it looks clean, and at least I'll have got her back safe if he finds out the rest.
I might stay alive that way.
My hand shakes as I keep looking at her. I need food and my shot. I’m no fucking use to anyone until I get some fuel into me. I reach into my pocket and pull out the small box, readying myself. The needle’s primed, the dose allocated, and my shirt lifted to sink the drug in before I think any more of it.
She slams her clenched fist on the car window a few times as I push the top of the pen, her other hand ratcheting the handle for entry. I laugh and pull the pen out, lifting the needle off and recapping it. Fuck that. She can stand out there and get a good feel for what vulnerability feels like for a while, balance on those bloody feet in this dirty back-end road and understand who she’s bred from.
One thing we all know about Vico is that he comes from the grit and dirt below him, regardless of the wealth that sits around him now. It’s what keeps him feared, in spite of his age. That's what makes me fearful of what I’ve just done to help her see who she is, because now I don't know what's coming for me when we get back to Chicago.
The only thing worse than the predicament I put her in would be me fucking her. And that idea is crossing my mind far too often.
I pick up my burger and take a bite, eyes still focused on her. She’s leaning on the car, long legs and arms crossed as she ponders all the information that’s running through her brain. I chuckle a little, imagining Vico and his own thoughts about what she’s researching. If she makes that kinda shit happen, the whole damn world will shift on its axis. And Vico? He’ll be at the centre of it all. Guiding it. Making the world turn whichever way he chooses. Makes me wonder if Quinn knows exactly what she’s doing with her life. Not that we have huge involvement in drugs anymore, but if it means more money, more power, then Cane will run with that whether Nate tries to pull us away or not.
And what the fuck did Anchov mean by causing problems in South America?
Fifteen minutes go by as I finish my food, and what started as a stern and irritated look on her face has slowly turned forlorn. She’s sniffing, fingers wiping under her eyes every now and then. Crying. That doesn’t help anything. I shed my last tears years ago, but I guess she deserves it for a while as she tries to make sense of what she’s discovered about her life. Certainly, after what just went down with Anchov.