Page 67 of Forbidden Eyes
He takes a sip again, quieting his laughter after a while. "It was nothing. I was young, dumb. Thought I could take on a pack of assholes with my blade. Teach them a lesson about me. Didn't work." My mind tries to imagine a young Carter wielding a blade. "The big one took it off me. Showed me what a blade could do in the right hand." He touches his neck, tracking over the top of it as if reminiscing. "Safe to say I learnt how to properly use one after that. It's been useful over time."
"Wow. Not nice." And now I've got the answer, I'm lost as to how to move the conversation away from things I didn't really want to know about, even if I’ve seen him in action.
I look at him as he shrugs the comment off, like it's just part of his life, nothing to be concerned about. It is, though. It's so many things to be concerned about. We’re at opposite ends of the spectrum, opposites who attract, like magnets, but…
He suddenly pulls out a slim blue box from his pocket and places it on the table in front of me, his hand waving at it. “Open it.”
“What is it?”
“That is what keeps me alive.”
“Pardon me?” My heart jumps to my throat, wondering what it could be. He chuckles mirthlessly, and nods at it again.
“Open it, Fia. You want to know something about me—here it is.” Shakily, my hand flips the lid, and I stare at the syringe on display.
“Diabetic. Insulin shots,” he says.
He takes out a pen-like device for me and fiddles with things on it, then makes a point of pulling the bottom of his shirt up so I can see as he plunges it into his skin. Five seconds, his thumb putting pressure on the end of it, and then he’s putting the pen back in the box.
“Is that it?”
“Yeah. It’s not a problem. I eat, look after myself and take my injections regularly.” He offers a small smile. “I’ve lived with it my whole life. Not many other people know. You wanted information, and now you’ve got some.”
“But I’ve not seen you take any shots since we’ve been together.”
“We’ve not been together every second of the day. Trust me, I know how to look after myself.”
I let his words sink in and it’s true. Carter has been in total control of everything since I met him. Even when things got out of hand, he knew what to do. Knew how to look after himself and me. I smile a little and watch as he puts the box back in his pocket, unsure what him giving me that small piece of him means. Something, I guess. Something more than me just being another one of his conquests.
“So, you like seafood?” I blurt out because I don't know what else to say.
“I like everything about the sea," he replies, looking out at it longingly. "It's calm out there. Wish I had more time for it really."
“I guess your lifestyle doesn't afford you that.”
“What lifestyle is that?” He steeples his fingers and leans on the table, waiting for me to go on.
“Well, your job isn’t conventional, Carter. At least what I’ve seen of it isn’t. In fact, there are parts I don’t even want to think about, certainly not now you've told me about that scar. You say you’re not as bad as my father, but Cane is still involved in drugs.”
"When did I say I wasn't as bad as your father?" His brow lifts, challenging me. I frown, trying to remember if he has or not. Maybe I was just hoping or… He waves the question off, a small smile playing around his lips. “It’s a small part that’s getting smaller all the time, Fia. Nate’s been working a long time to ensure Cane is solid and legitimate. Most of the time, everything I do is above board. Business meetings, business transactions. Ensuring everything is in order. You’ve just seen the worst side as well.” He leans back, looking me over. “No one makes decent money these days without having a small part of their business being underhanded. It’s part of the territory.”
I don’t want to argue about the ins and outs, so I leave it for now. “Do you enjoy it?”
“Strange choice of words. Not everyone gets to do something they enjoy. You’ll understand when you’re out in the real world.”
“Real world? You think education and research aren’t real?” I can’t help feeling defensive over what I’ve spent my life doing, and plan to do in the future. “It’s businesses like my father’s and my uncle’s that have caused the problem in society that I want to work to fix.”
“Calm your ass down. I didn’t mean offence. You’re lucky you get to do something you’re passionate about. You’ve had a good start in life given the money in your family.”
I take a sip of my water, and the silence stretches for a few moments, part of me trying not to be so defensive. It's hard, though, especially when he's so worldly and I'm not. “My good start is nothing but a lie, Carter. My education has always been the only thing in my life. Without the freedom of a normal childhood, I applied myself. It's all I had." He smiles and drinks, looking at my face as I talk. "I do feel passionate about what I’ve worked towards, but at the same time I’ve opened my eyes and can see that studying isn’t the only thing in my future now.” In that moment, I wish that whatever future is in front of me could be easier than the immediate obstacles I’m facing. We’ve not spoken about what happens next or all the what-ifs, but there must be possibilities with Carter. He makes my heart lift, and I finally feel like the woman I’ve hoped people would start treating me as. He’s showed me that I can be desired, that I can be sexy, and that I can have fun. But now a shadow hangs over us, like a horrible premonition that something bad will happen. We just don’t know when or what.
"I never had a future mapped out or thought about before Quinn came and found me," he murmurs, looking out at the sea again. "Whore for a mother, asshole for a father. Junkie brother."
My eyes widen at his confession, not sure where it came from or what he means.
"What?" he says. "We don't all come from wealth, Fia. If it weren’t for your uncle, I'd still be living with the dregs of humanity. Or dead like they all are. I have a lot to thank him for."
"All your family is dead?"