Page 86 of Forbidden Eyes
“Beat up Carter? He came looking for us and tortured him. In front of me. I didn't even know that's who he was. What he's capable of.” My vision blurs again. "There was so much blood, Mom. Everywhere. And… "
“I’m not defending his actions, but he does only want to protect you. There's so much you don't know about him. So much he's tried to keep from you.”
“Mom, he would have left him there for dead. If I wasn’t there? He made me do it. I had no choice but to force him to leave. How could he have done that? He’s supposed to love me and protect me, not punish me like that.” I sit up and prop myself against the padded headboard.
“Baby, I’m so sorry. He should never, ever have put you through that.”
I nod. But really, I don’t need Mom to apologise for something my dad should never have done.
“Did you mean to miss him?” Her whisper isn’t an accusation, and I guess I should have known it was coming.
“I don’t know.” It’s the truth. “I can’t go back home.”
“Are you going to stay with Carter? That’s a bit soon, don’t you think?”
“I’m not… Things with… it's complicated with Carter. But I thought I could stay with Aunt Emily and Uncle Quinn? I can’t face him, Mom. I swear you can’t make me. I won't and ...” Hysteria begins building at the thought.
“Shhh, shhh, I’m not going to make you do anything you don’t want to.” She reaches for my hands and squeezes them, reassuring me that in this, I can trust her.
“So, are you going to tell me about Carter? I’m guessing things must be serious between you two. Or at least they are for you.” Her smile is weak through her tear-stained face, and I wish I could tell her all about Carter and me, but right now I’m not sure what there is to say.
“I’m not sure, Mom. I know that he’s the first guy ever to make my stomach turn over in anticipation. It’s only been a short time, but to me, it doesn’t matter because I’m pretty sure I’m falling in love with him.” I should be smiling from ear to ear, but all I feel like doing is breaking out into tears again.
“Baby, that’s so good to hear. I’d love to meet him.”
“Yeah… I’d love that as well. We’re just… not really talking right now. And I don’t know how to fix it.”
“You don’t need to worry about fixing everything, Fia. I know that’s your default setting, but sometimes you need to let life take its natural course. Carter is a Cane for all intents and purposes. That means he’s stubborn, egotistical, and probably as useless with his emotions as Quinn." A small smile creeps up my face at her tone. "And I know I haven't seen him, but I suppose he's in pain. Again, that's something Canes don't do very well. He won’t want to let you or anybody else see that. You both have some healing to do.”
“You think I should wait for him to come to me?”
“I think you need to take baby steps. This is your first real relationship, and it isn’t your usual high school boyfriend or girlfriend scenario. Don’t rush him.”
I hear what she’s saying and what she’s trying to do, but I’m not sure I can cope with sitting back and waiting. “Mom, I know you’re trying to help, but I can’t cope with waiting. I’m terrified that if I give him space, he'll realise that I’ve been a terrible mistake for him.” I look up at her face and hope she can understand my fear. I can’t imagine anyone ever thinking Hope Winters was a mistake.
“No one worthy of you will ever, ever see you as a mistake. Do you hear me?”
“Thank you.” I sniff. “I don’t know what I’d have done without you, Mom.” I mean every word, but now I need to focus on me and Carter. He stood up to my father for me. That’s got to mean something. I just need to get him to remember why, and acknowledge me and what we had, and not see me as a danger to his family.
Twenty-Five
My head stays down on the way over to the pool, eyes tracking the grass and stones under my feet. That’s all there’s been for the last day or so. I’ve holed up in my place and tried to get my shit together, choosing to avoid anyone in the main house and focus on healing. Fia included. Nate came over last night. Apparently, Quinn called them both back from holiday because of what’s happened. I apologised for that, and then he sat and let me talk to him, all the time drinking one glass of scotch as I guzzled tequila like it was going out of fashion. I can’t even remember most of what I said to him, but I do remember his opening line when he arrived.
“I had this conversation with Quinn years ago. Man up.”
I got the point of him coming over then.
Guess I must have told him things about Fia. The situation.
Still didn't change where we're at, though.
Fuck, my head hurts. Still, even though it's most of the way through the day.
The heat of the pool hits me the second I walk through the door, reminding me of Miami. It was hotter there than it is here. The hotel room was, too. And the boat. And her body was hot as fuck. Everything was hot. Sweaty. My dick, as it has been doing for the last fuck knows how long, announces interest at my thoughts.
I tear at my clothes and dump them on the hooks, pulling my trunks on and heading for the water. I have to get this shit out of my head. It needs to stop. Now. It’s bad enough that its happened already, that I’ve put them all in this position, but I am going to do the right thing. Have to. I know Quinn told me to think. And I have. The answer is the same as it was before, regardless of the constant thoughts of her in my head. I will not put my family in harm’s way. Not Quinn, not Nate, not Logan. Not Emily and Gabby.
And certainly not Fia and her own mother.