Page 71 of Making a Cowgirl

It was funny the way he couldn’t get past this dismal feeling. When he and Brielle had called it quits, it had been easy to shake off. That was who Brielle was. She never dated anyone for long. That probably had more to do with her father and the rules of their household than anything else.

Although she did get the freedom to date after Adeline got married, it didn’t do anything to change her outlook. She still seemed content to live her life the same way.

Dax glanced up again, expecting to find her pulling her horse out of its stall. A yelp escaped his throat and he fell backward into the stack of straw bales behind him. He glowered up at Brielle, who stood over him with her hands on her hips and a smirk on her lips.

“What are you doing? Aren’t you supposed to be working or something?”

Stuck in his position, Dax continued staring at her. “Aren’t you supposed to be contributing to your family’s ranch?”

Her smug smile fell from her face. “I do plenty, and you know it.”

He grunted, turning over on his side and scrambling to his feet. Focusing on the straw that clung to his pants, he shook his head. “I’m not really in the mood to fight today, Brielle.”

“You started it. What’s your problem anyway?”

Dax shot her a sharp look. “You know well enough what my problem is.”

She let out a sigh. “It’s been almost a month. You can’t mope around forever.”

He pushed past her. “I said I’m not going to talk about this.” He’d nearly drank. He needed to ground himself.

“No. You said you weren’t going to fight with me. So don’t fight.” Brielle hurried after him, tugging at his arm when he refused to slow down. “Come on, Dax. You can talk to me.”

He jerked his arm out of her grasp and shook his head. No, he needed to talk to people who understood him.

She continued pursuing him as he strode toward his truck. There was one thing she was right about. He couldn’t keep moping around here. If he did, he’d end up digging out some of the whiskey he knew one of the ranch hands had hidden under the sink in their shared cabin. The temptation had continued to grow stronger, reminding him that he hadn’t been to an AA meeting since Sarah had left.

It wasn’t wise. He knew it. But he also knew he wouldn’t be able to stand in front of the group of his friends and express the heartache he currently felt. He’d been so full of hope the last time he’d attended a meeting.

Dax yanked out his keys, and Brielle jumped in front of him. “Where are you going?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, it does.” She peered at him, her eyes shining with concern. “I’m worried about you.”

He let out a heavy sigh and his hand dropped to his side. “I’m going to be fine.” That wasn’t true. Each day that passed, he continued to break apart piece by piece. It wasn’t normal. The feelings he was experiencing right now didn’t make sense when he’d only known Sarah for a few months.

But they were there, nevertheless.

Brielle refused to move out of his way. She folded her arms and her jaw set tightly. “I’m not letting you go alone. You’re not in the right headspace.”

She was right again. Dang it.

He frowned. If he let her come with him, he’d have to tell her something he’d managed to avoid all these years. Telling Sarah had turned out disastrous. He couldn’t be sure how Brielle would react. He’d like to think their relationship was strong enough that they would survive his confession.

The only way he’d figure it out was if he just told her. Dax expelled another frustrated sigh and raked his hand through his hair. “Fine. Get in.”

Her brows shot up and she scurried around the front of the truck to get into the passenger’s side.

Dax was either going to regret this or it might just be the thing to help him get out of his funk. Once upon a time, he and Brielle had been close—well, close enough to share some more intimate moments.

He pulled open the door and sat behind the wheel for a few minutes before he finally started the truck and pulled out onto the road. Every explanation he could come up with didn’t sound quite right. There was no excuse for the choices he’d made before.

Sarah had done a real number on him. He didn’t trust himself anymore. All the work he’d done on himself suddenly didn’t feel like it was enough. He wasn’t enough for her.

His heart twinged, a sharp pain slicing through his whole soul. It was almost like he couldn’t breathe without great effort. Dax glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. “I’m going to a meeting.”

She shifted in her seat, her hands clasped tightly in her lap. There was no reaction. Where was her blatant judgment? Maybe she didn’t realize what he meant bymeeting.