Page 132 of Western Waves
Her eyes blinked a few times as she tilted her head in surprise by the directness of my words. She shook her head and let a small, sad smile slip out. “Even if I were, would you really want a wicked mother like me?” she asked. “Or like Denise or Rosalina? My advice for you? Stop trying to figure out who is your biological mother. Because sure, maybe they have your DNA, but at the end of the day, they’ll never be able to fill that gap in your chest. We will never live up to the idea of love that exists in your head. Trust me, I know. So, find something else to fill that spot.”
“I already did.”
“In Stella?”
“Yes. And you know what?”
“What’s that?”
“She loved you. Even though you could only see Sophie when you looked into her eyes, Stella saw you. Maybe in a way Kevin could not. She loved you.”
“How do you know that?”
“Because that’s what Stella does. She loves.”
I saw it for a second. A flash of softness raced past Catherine’s eyes, a realization fell into her. “She wasn’t Sophie?”
I shook my head. “She wasn’t.”
She cleared her throat as more tears streamed down her cheeks. “I was cruel to her. Every time I was able to be, I was cruel to her.”
“And still, she loved you.”
She looked away from me for a moment, trying to pull herself together.
I used that moment to hopefully get an inch more of gentleness from Catherine. “Stella’s on bed rest.”
“What?”
“The pregnancy is high risk, and she needs me to be there for her to look after her. I’m certain she’s scared, and I can’t respond to her. I’m not asking you to let me go, Catherine. I get it, you got this far, and it only makes sense to follow through. I don’t give a shit about the money. All I need is to let Stella know I’m okay. Please get my phone and text her that I’ll be home soon.”
Home wasn’t a building; it was a person. I couldn’t wait to return home to her.
Catherine hesitated but walked over to my phone on the countertop and asked me for my password to unlock it. I told her, and she went to my messages from Stella.
The color drained from Catherine’s face, and seeing her reaction made my own heart almost stop.
“Oh no,” she whispered.
My chest tightened. “What is it? Is she okay?”
“Yes, I mean, maybe, I mean…” She took a deep breath and shook her head. “Maple’s in the ICU unconscious.”
No.
It couldn’t be.
“Catherine, please,” I begged, feeling a wave of despair hit my chest. I wasn’t sure if it was Stella’s or my own. We’d grown so close that I swore my soul could feel hers aching. “Let me go.”
It was only a few seconds. If I blinked, those seconds could’ve shifted into something else.
But it didn’t. I held her stare with mine so she could see the severity of what was happening. “Mom, please,” I whispered. “Let me go.”
I knew it was her. I knew out of all three of them, Catherine was the one who brought me into the world. Truthfully, I’d known for a while.
“Why did you call me that?” she asked, her voice shaky, her eyes wide.
“Because you are my mother.”