Page 103 of A Dark Fall
I hold up my glass. “I have one.”
“Shot?”
“Absolutely not. A glass of water would be great though.”
He rolls his eyes and mouths something that looks like, “Boring,” before meandering off in the direction of the bar.
It’s the sight of Nick and Jin catching up with their friends and looking so much like a new couple that causes the note of loss to sing over me. I’m happy for him—of course I am—but I can’t help thinking about what I’m desperately trying not to think about. It pulls at the last of my resolve.
I reach into my bag to take out my phone, switching it back on.
Soon, the notifications begin to flash across the screen. Eight missed calls, two voice mails, and a few texts. Each message is angrier than the last. Except for the most recent one, sent an hour ago, which simply says:
Jake: Alex, please let me explain. It’s not what you think it is.
I laugh even as my heart constricts. It’s not what you think it is. Even so, my fingers itch to dial his number. Not because I want him to explain how it isn’t what I think, but because there are things I want and need to say tohim.Words that will fester and rot if I don’t speak them aloud.
As I’m debating whether to ring him, another text comes through. His name flashes up on the screen, the text below it.
Jake: I’m going to your house. I’ll wait for you there. We need to talk.
Of course he’s going to my bloody house. Because that’s what he does. He turns up at my house. I’m tempted to stay at Nick’s, but I can’t leave Fred all night, and it’s too late to ring Ed and Betty.
Christ, I don’t want to run the Jake gauntlet in person tonight. Not this inebriated. I don’t trust myself around him. It’s highly possible if I see him, I’ll do something stupid and naïve.
With a sigh, I stand, maneuvering my way out of the row of joined-up tables. Nick catches my eye and comes toward me.
“You’re going?” he asks.
“I need to nip out and make a call.”
His eyes darken instantly. “Tell me you’re not going out there to call him, Al.”
“I just have to make one call. Then it’s done. Promise.” I give him my most reassuring smile. “It’s fine. I’m fine, honestly. Go back to Jin.”
Nick watches me closely for a minute, checking whether I am indeed fine. He sighs but doesn’t look convinced. “Fine, but come over when you’re done. Jin’s mate Sophia is nice—you’ll like her. Plus, he’s only going to hit on you all night if you sit there.” He casts his eye over my shoulder as Seb collapses into the booth, a tray of shots lined up on it. A glass of ice water too.
“Nickyyyyyy-boyyyy! Shot for you and Jin!” Seb calls out, gesturing him over.
“I’ll be back in five.” I give him a gentle pat on the arm and squeeze my way outside.
The air is muggy and close, and the street outside is busy with smokers and tables as I dial his number.It barely has a chance to ring before he picks up.
“Where the fuck are you?” he growls. His voice sounds hoarse and scratchy as though he’s been using it to shout all night.
“Do you ever answer your phone with the customary hello?” I ask dryly as I move away from the front door to a quieter spot.
“I am not fucking playing here, Alex. I’m in the car on my way to your house, so you will have to fucking speak to me at some point. Just tell me where you are, yeah?”
“Well, since I’m not coming home tonight, I hope your seats recline all the way back.”
He sighs, his voice softer when he speaks. “Please, Alex. I’ll come to your brother’s. Tell me where it is.” The softer tone disarms me a little. Cools my rage some. Like it’s supposed to. “I need to see you, baby.”
“I don’t care what you need, Jake. I don’twantto see you.” I’m proud of how calm I sound. This is good. I can do this. “In fact, I never want to see you again,” I add.
There’s a long silence before he speaks. “I’m not gonna ask you again, Alex. Tell me where the fuck you are.”
That does it. I’m gone.