Page 118 of A Dark Fall
“I wish you’d trusted me with it ...”
He frowns, confused. “Baby, I do trust you. I do.” He takes a small step back from me then, running a hand over his mouth. “I’ve just seen so much fucking shit—too much fucking shit—my whole life. Where I’m from ... fuck, I don’t know. I always wanted to keep you separate from it all.”
“Even your son?” I blink.
He looks pained again. “No, not him. But everything else connected to him ...”
“You mean Vicky?” This is what Rob was getting at.
Jake nods, but it’s conflicted, as if he’s keeping something back. Something it’s hurting him to keep back.Baby steps, Alex. Give him time to open up to you.
“But I was afraid it would make you see me differently, yeah. Make you walk away, maybe, yeah.” He shakes his head. “Even now, I still can’t believe you want to be with me. You ...” He sounds genuinely confused.
“That’s ridiculous.”
“Is it? Do you remember how we met? You must have thought I was a piece of shit. And there you were, just being ... you.” His eyes soften, and he moves toward me again. “The way you looked at me, spoke to me—even though you must’ve been shit scared—I felt ... fuck, I don’t know, safe.” He laughs a little as if this might be ridiculous. “You’ve never once looked at me how other people do. And I’m always fucking scared that’s going to change, you know? I never want you to see me like they do—to look at me any differently. I don’t fucking know what I’m trying to say, Alex.” He drops his eyes again, looking exasperated, as though his words aren’t doing what he wants them to.
“I was shit scared,” I say, smiling.
He huffs out a quiet laugh. “Well, you didn’t fucking look it. You never do.”
“But I didn’t think you were a piece of shit,” I say. “I thought you were the most beautiful man I’d ever seen.”
His eyes widen again, and he pulls his shoulders up, a faint tint of rose pinking his cheeks. To prove my point, I step closer to him and gaze up into his eyes.
“I still do. I want you more now than I did then. I want to be with you, Jake. Whether you have a son or not. If you’d trusted me and been honest with me, you would have known that. It just feels as if I’m giving everything here but getting half of you in return.”
“Baby, I trust you. I promise you, I do. But it doesn’t mean I don’t live in fear you’re gonna run. That you’re gonna realize you deserve someone better, and you’re gonna run. But right now, by some fucked up twist of whatever, you want me. So, I’m trying. Trying to be better, trying to go against the way I’ve always done things, so I can try to deserve you.” He takes a deep breath. “There are things I have to do, and I’m not sure how I’m going to do it all yet, but I’ll do whatever I need to do to be better for you. And for Cale. You both deserve better.”
I don’t understand what he means by that, not fully, and I can’t listen to him talk about himself like this either. I step forward and kiss him hard. When I pull back, he rests his forehead against mine and closes his eyes.
“Just being with you makes me better, Alex. You’ve no fucking idea what you do, what you mean for me. What you are. You’re everything I need.”
My heart cracks open then, Jake settling firmly inside of it. I feel the same. My life never felt lacking before him—not really. Yet he’s now something I can’t live without. I’m only really alive when he’s with me. I’m about to tell him all of this when he kisses me again.
My hands slip under his T-shirt to caress the hard skin beneath. I feel a shudder move through him, beneath the skin, as he pushes me back against the wall again, his hands sliding my dress up my thighs. This time, his fingers hook into my knickers, and he pulls them down my thighs roughly. As I step out of them, he lifts one of my legs and wraps it around his body, and the pressure of his jeans against me is delicious. But it’s not enough. My hands go to the buckle of his belt, and I undo it quickly, unbuttoning and unzipping him so I can take his length in my hands. When I feel how wet and hard he is already, I whimper desperately, wetness pooling between my legs. I need it inside me. I need him inside me.
His head drops back as he bites down on his lip. “Yes, baby, take it. Fuck. It’s yours.” He moves his hand back between my thighs and teases me open before sliding his finger inside, then another, to begin fucking me with them.
God, I’ve missed this. I’ve missed his taste and his body and his precise touch on my most sensitive places. I can never be without this again.
Without warning, he drops to his knees in front of me and nudges my legs apart to take me with his mouth. It’s searing and deliciously needy, and Jake groans as he begins to work at me.
“Fuck, baby, I’ve missed this,” he hums against my clitoris, sending the vibration through my whole body. With my hands tangled in his hair, I pull his mouth closer, leaning back against the wall as I move wantonly against his tongue.
Jake moves his hands to my hips and turns me toward the stairs, tugging on my waist to lower me down onto the carpeted step. Then his mouth is back, and the access is better, and he’s giving me oral sex on my hall stairs. I gasp loudly as he slides his tongue in deep, twisting it before pulling out. I feel my body start to coil hotly, tummy tightening with that familiar pressure.
“Jake ...” I pant, bringing a hand up to muffle my moans as he licks, sucks, and flicks his mouth over me in tight, perfect circles. The new longer facial hair makes it feel more intense too, scraping over the sensitive flesh and heightening every sensation. When he presses his hand flat on my tummy, tilting me up so he can go deeper with his mouth, the pressure snaps, and I let out a small scream, my legs trembling around his shoulder.
“That’s it, Alex ... that’s it, baby,” he breathes. “Let me feel you come for me again.”
And I do. I come intensely hard. Great, rejuvenating, radiating outward from the point and through my whole body. He watches me intently while working me through it, his eyes glittering with arousal.
Once he’s sucked me dry, Jake kisses his way up my body to my mouth and crashes his lips onto mine. I can taste myself on him, sweet and bitter at the same time, but I can also taste him—that familiar taste of him that feels too addictive now.
There’s no warning before he slides inside me, and I can only whimper and let my legs fall open farther. He lets out a low, filthy noise as he thrusts all the way in, large and so bloody hot, and spreads my body wide open to him. He fills me so completely. It’s breathtaking. My cheeks are burning, and every part of me throbs from him. He feels as good as I remember. No. Better than I remember. Because now, it feels as if a deep, lonely part of me has found something it lost.
“Did you miss this?” he asks as he rolls his hips, making me moan again.