Page 126 of A Dark Fall

Mark leans up off the counter, and it’s only then I notice he has an A4-size brown envelope in his hand. Why didn’t I notice that before? My body backs away from it slightly as if it might be dangerous. It looks dangerous.

“Who he is. What he is,” he says.

“I know who he is.” I flare.

“Then you know he has a criminal record. That he’s been inside. That if he wasn’t so good at hiding what he does, then he’d be going back. And for a long bloody time too.”

The bottom drops out of my stomach then, falling away, and some of the air disappears from my lungs. The words go in and zip around my head, knocking things over. When they stop, I feel defensive again—fiercely so. What on earth is Mark doing? How dare he waltz in here like this and tell me things like this?

I narrow my eyes at him. “Why are you telling me this?” My voice is high and accusatory as I move away from him to go stand by the sink.

“Because you’re a friend. Because you’re Dan and Rob’s friend, and I’m concerned about you. I want to help you.” His voice is soft, but I hate it. I hate his soft, almost pitying tone. I hate the words. They make me feel foolish and sick. Can I throw up in front of Mark?

I sense him coming toward me, and when I look around, he has his arm outstretched, envelope thrust toward me.

“You’ve no idea who this guy is, Alex. The kinds of things he’s mixed up in. The kinds ofpeoplehe’s mixed up with.”

I stare at the envelope, dumbstruck. “Is that what’s in there?”

He nods. “Everything you need to know, yes.”

I’m not even sure that’s bloody legal, him bringing me this. Clearly, he thinks it worth the risk. My blood is cold. So cold.

“How is this helping me, exactly?” I ask.

Mark blinks and lowers the envelope.

“How is telling me things Jake should have the right to tell me himself helping me?”

“But he didn’t tell you, did he? He never would. But you have a right to know. Someone had to tell you.Ihad to.” He sounds sorry for me now.

Oh, Mark’s pity is awful. I don’t want his pity. I want him to leave.

I think about the words he’s just said though. Are these things Jake would have told me eventually? He promised to tell me everything. As soon as he was sure I wouldn’t run a mile, he was going to tell me everything. Is this one of the things he thinks will make me run? A criminal record? Prison?

I shake my head again and glance at the envelope.

Mark sighs loudly. “He’s not the man you think he is, Alex. This is a violent criminal we’re talking about here.”

My mouth practically drops open. A violent criminal? What the hell does that even mean? It doesn’t mean anything. It could be anything. I need to talk to Jake.

An image of him smiling at me over breakfast this morning swims to the front of my mind, and I shake my head and close my eyes, tears springing up hot behind them. There’s a loud, crumbling noise inside my head, the sound of the walls of my delusion crashing down around me.

A violent criminal.

Is that who Jake is? The same person who strokes my hair as I fall asleep, who tells me how much he needs me, who sees me as his something good. That would mean I truly know nothing about this man. This man I’m in love with. He’d be a total stranger. He’s not that. Hecan’tbe that.

Yet ... someone cut him open with a knife.I would have killed him, Alex. If she hadn’t stopped me, he’d be dead.No. He threatened his son. Jake was protecting his child. That’s different.

I turn my head away from Mark to stare out the kitchen window. I should open it. It’s so stuffy in here. I stretch forward and twist the handle to let some fresh air in. The breeze feels comforting over my face as I close my eyes.

“Don’t you want to know what for?” I hear Mark say finally. His voice sounds like a memory, and I’ve honestly no idea how much time has passed since he told me Jake was a violent criminal.

As I turn my head around to face him, my eyes dip warily to the envelope in his hand. What could be in there? My mind runs through all sorts of possibilities. Horrible, vile things I know Jake isn’t capable of. He just isn’t.

Mark watches me carefully, and I wonder what he’s thinking about me right now. Probably that I’m a naïve idiot who knows nothing about the man she’s sleeping with.

“I think I’d like to hear that from him. If what you’re saying is true.”