Page 71 of A Dark Fall
Do I? I guess I do, and clearly, it’s something he doesn’t like. Except all I can think about is the fact I’m naked and splayed out before him, and suddenly, I feel very exposed. I shuffle up the bed and lean back against the headboard, pulling a pillow over myself. I stare at him. He’s still waiting for an answer.
“I guess I’m a little cynical that way,” I start, shrugging slightly. “Guys like you ... well, you have a way with words, and ... I don’t know.” God, this is a terrible attempt at an explanation.
“Guys like me?” he says quietly, eyes narrowing.
Is that what I said? Christ. I grimace slightly. “I meant guys. Generally. I mean, you practice this stuff, saying things girls want to hear. I didn’t mean it as an insult, Jake. It’s more of a compliment when you think about it. Because you’re good at it ... really good.”
He’s frowning, hard. I see the cogs ticking over in his mind for a few dreadful seconds before he shakes his head.
“You honestly think I say shit like this to women?” He laughs, the sound thin and cold. “Fucking hell, Alex, I don’t bring women back here. Ever. And I don’t fantasize about doing it either.”
Now, it’s my turn to laugh. “Oh, really? You’ve seriously never brought a woman back here?”
“No,” he confirms.
“Oh, really? Not even Dawn from the elevator? What, are you going to tell me you were a virgin before we slept together?” My voice is ridiculously high.
He stares at me for a moment longer and then sits up and steps off the bed entirely. I watch as he walks over to the glass barrier at the edge of the mezzanine and looks out at the view, shoulders hunched as he runs a hand over his face.
“You want to know how many women I’ve been with, Alex? That it?” He turns, and he looks so staggeringly gorgeous topless and angry that I forget for a moment we’re in the middle of an argument. “Would that help? If you knew how many women I’d fucked but never called after?”
I feel a horrible twist in my tummy. Why on earth would I want to know what number I am to him?
“No, of course not.” I shake my head.
Jake looks away from me and stares at a point on the floor while he works at the inside of his lip with his teeth. He looks sad, I think. Regretful. It makes me feel guilty. From day one, I assumed him to be a player; a man who fucked women, didn’t do relationships, and who’d break my heart when he moved briskly on to the next one. I guess I figured he’d be okay with that assumption. I never expected it to hurt or insult him.
“Don’t you think this is funny?” he says.
“What is?” I frown. I’m pretty sure nothing about this is funny.
“That I’m the one on trial here, but since I met you, I’ve had to stand watching you with three different guys.”
I feel as if he’s slapped me across the face. Oh, god, that’s unfair. He’s right, but Christ, it doesn’t make it any easier to hear. The fact I’m sitting on Jake’s bed naked only adds to it.
Well, this evening certainly isn’t turning out how I wanted it to. I want to go home. I feel cheap and sad, and I want to go home right now.
With a nod, I slide across the bed slowly, bending down as gracefully as possible to retrieve my underwear from the floor. He watches me as I pull on my knickers then lift my bra.
“You’re leaving?” he asks.
To this, I just give him a look, stepping into my dress to pull it up my body.
“Please don’t,” he says, moving toward me.
I pause to look at him, and he sighs, taking a step closer.
“I shouldn’t have said that. It was a fucking dick move.I’ma dick. I’m sorry.” His eyes are wide-open and sincere. “Stay.”
I don’t want to leave. I want to stay. More than that, I want to rewind ten minutes and take back the stupid comment about him being the biggest man-whore in London. I want to go back to the way he looked at me when I first walked into his apartment. Anyway, he can’t be the biggest man-whore in London because I’m pretty sure my brother is.
His hand comes up to cup my face, and he strokes my cheek softly as he nibbles on the inside of his bottom lip, waiting. “Please stay.”
I feel myself soften, the horrible chill of the argument melting away. “I shouldn’t have said what I did either,” I admit. “I’m sorry too.”
He debates his next words for a moment before wetting his lips with his tongue. “Look, Alex, you’re not a million miles off ... I may not have brought women back here or wowed them with mylines, but I’ve never treated them right either.” He sighs loudly. “I’ve been a cunt to alotof women. But I can’t do anything about it now. I just need you to know it has nothing to do with us or you. We all have nasty shit we’d rather not think about or talk about or share with someone we’re trying to impress.” His mouth tugs up into a small smile.
I raise an eyebrow. “You’re trying to impress me?”