Page 30 of Count Down
“It’s still kind of evolving as we go, but it’s a trio – two men, one woman. In ballet, the trios are almost always a love triangle, but I wanted to try something else. It’s still a power struggle, but instead of the men fighting over the woman, they’ve teamed up and try to sort of control her like a puppet. The rest of it is how she deals with that and gets free of them.”
“That sounds interesting. A bit realistic as far as ballet stories go. Unless one of them is a prince or something,” Luca says.
“Well, they say it should be about something you know, and I don’t know much about princes. So, I’ll have to stick with peasants for now,” I laugh.
He hasn’t said, so I’ll have to ask him. “Do you want to come watch the showcase?” I’m afraid he’ll say no, but I want him there. I’d love to have his support.
Luca has just taken a bite. It’s bad timing. I have to wait for him to finish before he can answer. He picks up his napkin to cover his mouth before he swallows. He resets his napkin, then nods. “I’d love to see it.”
I know I should be able to do the things I want without needing someone else’s okay. But I’m realizing how much my father and Archie sucked the life out of my dreams as they pushed me toward their own. Not being around them helps a lot. Being around someone like Luca, who actually believes in me, is even better.
I look around the restaurant. The sun has set and it’s dark outside. The atmosphere is completely different from when we got here. It’s darker. The candles on each table flicker. It’s cozier. It’s… romantic. I bet half the people in here are on dates. Maybe even a couple other first dates.
Turning back to Luca, I feel proud to be here with him. We never called this a date. But it’s safe to say it is. And the man I’m on a date with is big and handsome. The dim light and the flickering from the candle add to his mysteriousness. He’s so different from anyone else I know. But I like it.
The waiter returns to collect our plates. I order a tiramisu for us to share.
“We’ve talked about my dreams of being a choreographer,” I say. “What about you? Is consulting your dream job?”
Luca crosses his arms, thinking. “I don’t think Idreamabout any job. I definitely don’t dream about my job.”
“You don’t enjoy it?”
Luca shakes his head. “I wouldn’t say I enjoy it. It’s a means to an end.”
“Do you ever think about doing something different?”
“I don’t know. I’m good at it. And I feel I have an obligation to the people I work with.”
“But if it’s not something that you enjoy, is that enough reason to keep doing it?”
“It’s not really that easy,” Luca takes a sip of his drink.
“It never is.” I try to rephrase my original question. “If you no longer had to work, what would you do?”
Luca thinks for a bit. This is the first question he doesn’t have a ready response for. I take a sip of my drink, waiting for him to come up with an answer.
Finally, he looks like he realizes something and leans slightly forward over the table. “Actually,” the corners of his mouth twitch up. “When I was a teenager, before everyone had cameras on their phones and digital cameras were everywhere—“
I raise my eyebrows picturing a time before camera phones.
“Yes,” Luca continues. “It wasn’tthatlong ago.”
“You’re justthatold,” I tease him.
“You’re justthatyoung,” he shakes his head at me but smiles. “Anyways. I had a job taking photos around town. Kind of local reporting stuff. And my boss didn’t want the photos developed at a Fotomat—“
“Fotomat?”
“It’s an old place that developed photos. Whatever, they didn’t want them developed at Walgreens. So, I had to develop and print the photos myself in the darkroom.”
“Huh.” I picture a young Luca in a dark room cast in red light. Dipping sheets into trays and hanging them up on a line. I’ve never been in a darkroom before, but I’ve seen them in movies and on TV.
“I enjoyed it,” Luca continues. “There was something interesting about taking a picture, knowing the light hit the film. Then later having to mix the chemicals and expose the negatives. Then you pick out the ones you want to actually make prints of and develop those. It definitely wasn’t instant. But it felt likemakingsomething. By the time you got to the final print you had a relationship with it. It wasn’t like snapping a picture on your phone and forgetting about it.”
Luca’s default is quiet and reserved. His expressions and reactions are controlled. So even now, as Luca talks about something that I know he’s passionate about, it’s only visible in the subtle hand gestures and head tilts. I like seeing him like this. I know he doesn’t open up much, so I feel like it’s significant somehow.
“But now,” Luca adds. “Nobody really needs that anymore.”