Page 31 of Keeping His Mate
“But it brings me pain to say,” he begins, and I know exactly what’s about to follow, “it is time to return Stahn-lee to his pack.”
Yup. That’s what I was afraid of because he’s right. Stanley still eats from a bottle, but he probably doesn’t need to. I just like feeding him with it. He doesn’t seem to have any lingering respiratory issues, and his stools are much more solid than they were in the beginning.
Besides, with his need to chew on everything while simultaneously knocking it over, clearly, he’s strong enough to hang with his tr’gory brothers and sisters. I had hoped by now we would’ve caught some glimpse of Nanay, but no such luck. I don’t know where she’s been with her babies, but I’m going to assume it’s not far.
“Yeah, I know,” I finally reply. “Just let me have one more night with him?”
His eyes dart between mine before dropping to my lips. Because I can’t help myself, I stick my bottom lip out in a toddler-esque pout.
He chuckles at that, and I’m left breathless by that crooked smile of his. “One more,” he agrees. “Then you will return him to the bush?”
“What? No,” I reply quickly. I’m not just going to toss my baby boy outside on his own. “I’m going back to the falls to reunite him with Nanay.”
He abruptly steps out of my embrace and scratches his head. “I cannot allow that. It is not safe.”
“I mean, do I really need your permission?”
His brows lift as he scoffs at me. “What is your plan, then? To carry a heavy tr’gory pup through the village and hope no one sees you? That Varrek does not discover the secret we’ve been keeping from him?”
I suppose I didn’t think this one through. I also didn’t expect him to be so opposed to the idea of going back to the falls. “I wasn’t planning to go alone. You’ll come with me, right?”
He drops his chin and stares at the floor for what feels like several minutes. “No, Elle-noor. I cannot do that.”
“Why not?” I ask. “You did it before.”
Bruvix looks around the room as he absently runs a finger of the scar that cuts through his mouth, clearly at war with himself over this decision. “Fine. We leave just before the sun starts to rise. We will leave Stahn-lee near the den we found, and we should be able to make it back before the clan awakens.”
I grit my teeth, holding back tears at the thought of leaving him out there and just walking away. “Okay,” I say through trembling lips. “But I’m going to bed now so I can snuggle with him as long as possible.”
He puts a finger beneath my chin and tilts my head up until my eyes meet his. “I would expect nothing less, zala kovvari,” he says with a slight grin.
The phrase is translated to “tender heart” via my translator chip, and I melt where I stand.
We dispose of the last remaining bits of broken glass and frayed wires in the security room before we head up to the bedroom and climb under the furs. I don’t even bother putting Stanley on his bed since he never stays on it long anyway. And this way, he can be my little spoon as I fall asleep. Stanley is the littlest spoon, and Bruvix is the biggest, with a very content me sandwiched in the middle.
I hate mornings, and this one is particularly rotten. Stanley keeps wiggling in my arms as we make our way on light feet through the village and toward the falls. I can barely see where I’m going since it’s still dark out, and Stanley’s grown to about thirty-five pounds of feet and fluff, which makes him hard to hold onto. He’s growing quickly––shockingly quickly––it’s like I blink and he transforms. I love him so much, I want to scream. And today’s the day I let him go.
So yeah, this morning sucks.
Bruvix looks back and sees the strands of hair pushed in front of my eyes and Stanley’s squirmy body and quickly takes him from my arms.
“Want me to take the sword?” I offer, knowing how vulnerable he must feel with his weapons sheathed as we enter the woods in the dark.
“It is quite heavy, but here,” he says, turning and gesturing at the dagger hanging from his other hip. “Take that.”
Itisheavy, so heavy that I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t have been able to lift the sword.
“Let me go ahead of you,” I whisper. He’s the one that’s worried about this excursion, and he’s the one without a weapon handy.
He says nothing, but he also doesn’t let me pass him. We stay like this on the narrow trail toward the falls until it starts to open up at the end. I drop four douku orbs as soon as I have room to stand beside Bruvix, but the area where we found the blood and the den is clear. We figured this might be a possibility, so Bruvix sets Stanley down as I set up a cozy nest for him near the entrance of the den. I lay down his favorite fur blanket, and Bruvix’s tunic that he loves to chew on––so he’ll have the comfort of a familiar scent.
“Come, Elle-noor,” Bruvix says as I remain crouched and rubbing Stanley’s belly as he sprawls himself on the fur. “We must turn back.”
He gently gnaws on my fist, just enough to brush the tips of his fangs against my skin, but not hard enough to make me bleed, and suddenly I’m not sure if I can leave him. My feet are planted in the dirt and everything inside me is screaming for me to stay. Or to grab him and run back home.
“Elle-noor,” he repeats, clear warning in his tone this time.
Bruvix is right. Stanley is not some domesticated puppy I can train to play fetch. He’s a wild animal that will soon be too big for me to carry, and eventually, he’ll grow to be the size of an elephant. He belongs out here. Not with me.