Page 58 of Filthy Rock Stars
I laugh, kind of delirious. Then I slide the keytar onto my shoulder and go to greet my friends.
CHAPTERNINETEEN
SHADOW
Ideally,I would have figured out a strategy for approaching things. But when Cutter calls in sick a couple days later at the recording loft, and after fuming all night again and raging internally at Adrian and Elle, I can’t keep my mouth shut.
“You know, you’re real assholes sometimes.”
Elle looks up from her coffee. Her hair is falling all over the place, and she looks tired, dressed in an old black slip like it’s a dress. Adrian is next to her in black sunglasses, a sign they’re both hungover from partying last night.
“Fuck you, too, Shadow,” Adrian answers.
I wince. Okay, not productive.
“I mean I’m still pissed off about the talk show.”
Adrian grunts. “Whatever. We already decided to cool it for a while.”
I blink. “You did?”
“The label says our sales are probably peaking,” Elle explains. “We hit a new high. We ride it out.”
I huff, frustrated. “Can we just one fucking time not make it all about money? I’m pissed because you lied to me. You both made me and Cutter look like dicks. We might be all over the radio and the charts, but that doesn’t mean the press is good.”
Elle tenses, defensive, probably because she knows I’m right. “Don’t be so sensitive. This is how fame is. You know that.”
“It is fucking not,” I tell her, then shake my head. We’re getting off track, and I don’t need to change Elle’s basic philosophy of the world. I just need to make things right with Nico and his band. “You both need to apologize. To Mare and the rest of Kissing Dirt. Publicly.”
Adrian laughs, a deep one from his gut. “Seriously? Shadow, I don’t remember you caring about, well, anything before, so don’t act self-righteous now.”
“I care about shit.” I clench my fists, raging.
How is it that people who knew you when you were young hold this magical ability to piss you off like no one else ever could?
Elle goddamn smirks at me, and I lose it.
“Either you apologize, or I leave the band. I walk.”
The words come out my mouth, and hell yeah, I definitely mean them.
Elle laughs.
“I’m not fucking joking,” I growl.
“Have you not even read your contract, Shadow? You’re not going to walk. We just locked in for five more years. Hell, if you walked now, you’d owe the label. They’re due four more albums and three tours out of you.”
I squint. “Excuse me?”
Adrian adjusts his sunglasses, his eyes hidden. “See. This is what I was talking about. You seriously don’t care about anything, Shadow, and that’s fine. But you really should have had your lawyer explain the contract before you signed. You’re basically an employee.”
I sputter. He must be lying. I couldn’t possibly owe the label money if I left.
Except when I see the hint of regret on Elle’s face, the slight guilt that registers, I know that he’s telling the truth. I fucked myself when I signed that contract.
But maybe that doesn’t matter. Money might be Adrian’s prime motivator, and probably Elle’s now, too, but it’s not mine. I was cruising on autopilot for years, but Nico has reminded me that music and life can offer so much more than just cash and fame.
“Maybe I’d rather be bankrupt than stuck in a shit band with your immature asses.”